stop the lies before my ears become diseased...
well saturday completely and totally sucked. it was quite possibily the worst day in months. i pissed off just about everybody in charisma and i'm not exactly sure how... the first person i pissed off wouldn't let me apologize to her which is a load of shit. cause i don't hand out apologies like candy they actually do mean something. so that really hurt cause i felt like she thought i wasn't a sincere person. i was trying to talk to brian and everytime i tried he wouldn't. i walked into tabetha getting off the trailer and i just made a face that apparently pissed her off and now she's angry with me. i just want to give up. it's getting so much worse. my medicine isn't helping and i couldn't hold back cutting. it had to come. there was no why i would've calmed down on saturday night. i know i've let so many people down and i'm sorry for that, but you have to know where i'm coming from. when nothing works for me i cut and it helps, whether you think it does or not, it does. it's no ones fault for what i did, it's what i do, and it's probably what i'll always do. so we've all got to live with it. especially me.
-liz
-liz