(no subject)
So, I know that my posts lately (when I do post), have been very whiny, emo, bitchy, depressing, etc (or whatever other word comes to mind for yall). I know I've been down or whatever lately, but yesterday I made up my mind to let things go and move on. Before this, although I wouldn't have admitted it, I wasn't letting myself let go; I was making a conscious effort to hang on to things that weren't there anymore. Not anymore. I've realised that I have to cut my losses. Yeah, things suck sometimes, but I can't let that get me down and keep me down. I'm deciding right here and now to quit all the things and people that cause me unnecessary pain and stress. I know that certain things and relationships are supposed to be stressful or difficult, but those things are *worth* it. I'm not talking about the latter. I don't need to focus on the people and things that don't deserve my attention. I need to let go of the bad things, and fix the mistakes that I have allowed myself to make this past semester. Maybe this isn't the right way to go about it, but here it is. I'm saying good-bye to all the things this past semester that have caused me to lose focus.
Tyler, I won't do this anymore. You don't deserve me. I suppose I hate the way things turned out between us, but ya know what? I accept it. You can play your game if you want, but it won't be with me. I didn't come with dice, so don't play me. I'll talk to you occasionally, but anything more than that, you don't deserve.
Travis, you obviously don't respect me, and that's fine. My only request is that you be upfront with it. Don't insult me by pretending to care and respect me as a friend. Give me fair warning so I have time to ready myself with a new and clever way to tell you to go fuck yourself.
Dominic, I looked at you like a brother, and I was sad that you were moving. But you promptly fucked that up by telling someone something that wasn't true. I know that may be juvenile to be upset about that, but you had no right to say the things that you said.
Late semester I really messed up. I wasn't focused, and I made more than my share of bad decisions. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I'm choosing to do my best to right my wrongs. I'm not going to allow myself to wake up late, skip class, and just generally have a lax attitude about school. I have to completely change the kind of student that I was to the kind of student that I know I can be.
I quit. Not in the whiny way that I've mentioned before. I'm quitting in the way that you would quit smoking. I'm quitting the things that I know are bad for me. I'm not allowing myself to be dragged down. I'm freeing myself from the negatives.
Tyler, I won't do this anymore. You don't deserve me. I suppose I hate the way things turned out between us, but ya know what? I accept it. You can play your game if you want, but it won't be with me. I didn't come with dice, so don't play me. I'll talk to you occasionally, but anything more than that, you don't deserve.
Travis, you obviously don't respect me, and that's fine. My only request is that you be upfront with it. Don't insult me by pretending to care and respect me as a friend. Give me fair warning so I have time to ready myself with a new and clever way to tell you to go fuck yourself.
Dominic, I looked at you like a brother, and I was sad that you were moving. But you promptly fucked that up by telling someone something that wasn't true. I know that may be juvenile to be upset about that, but you had no right to say the things that you said.
Late semester I really messed up. I wasn't focused, and I made more than my share of bad decisions. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I'm choosing to do my best to right my wrongs. I'm not going to allow myself to wake up late, skip class, and just generally have a lax attitude about school. I have to completely change the kind of student that I was to the kind of student that I know I can be.
I quit. Not in the whiny way that I've mentioned before. I'm quitting in the way that you would quit smoking. I'm quitting the things that I know are bad for me. I'm not allowing myself to be dragged down. I'm freeing myself from the negatives.