(no subject)
It is just really hard
I feel disgusting every time
but there's pressure in the Trust
and it is such a torn feeling
and i cried a lot
and i really dont know what to do
because i was so happy
and now, all of the sudden, it is wrong?
and i have to change it?
what?
i definitely do not need a counselor
hopefully he'll procrastinate on it until im 20 or so
but anyway
i dont even know what i need to do
i want to plan everything out
like, "this will happen when i do this. and i will do this when that happens"
and the days are going by too fast to plan that crap
and every time is monitored
like stupid
i really did not think it was that big of a deal,
but if it is this hard
maybe it's more complicated than i thought
I feel disgusting every time
but there's pressure in the Trust
and it is such a torn feeling
and i cried a lot
and i really dont know what to do
because i was so happy
and now, all of the sudden, it is wrong?
and i have to change it?
what?
i definitely do not need a counselor
hopefully he'll procrastinate on it until im 20 or so
but anyway
i dont even know what i need to do
i want to plan everything out
like, "this will happen when i do this. and i will do this when that happens"
and the days are going by too fast to plan that crap
and every time is monitored
like stupid
i really did not think it was that big of a deal,
but if it is this hard
maybe it's more complicated than i thought