quick post.

Dec 15, 2005 15:23

If you've tried to contact me via intarweb over the past week, sorry. The internet's been down at my place. *curses*

So I'm home, at my parents', and my father's screaming about something my brother did, I don't know.

Finished exams. 1 semester OVER! And a incredibly mediochre one at that too.

Next semester I plan to TRY. Yes.

I still can't check my email on this thing. Why does the internet hate me so?

Mmmm yes. I need to relax. This week has been a lot of stress u__u; I've been having quite a few panic attacks and I'm sure I've been acting like an idiot around people, which worries me becuase I can't remember if I've offended anyone or not...too stressed to remember, so instead I worry. Haha. That's ALL I seem to do lately.

And now I'm going to watch Anchorman or something funny so I can calm down and RELAX! Because...winter break. *sighs*

Hmm, and really, this is kind of depressing. My parents put so much pressure on me to be home this week because they want me to spend time with my mother, who can't walk or anything and could probably use the company. So I come home and offer to do stuff and I can tell she really doesn't want me around, although she wouldn't say it directly. But she looks all awkward and reproachful when she agrees to do something or denies that she's just trying to spare my 'feelings'.

And considering I'm her daughter and I have very similar traits, I KNOW when she's uncomfortable or doesn't want me around, even when she says she does. Because I react the exact same way. Though my mother is possibly MORE two-faced than I am, at least around me.

I wouldn't say it hurts my feelings, but the mixed messages are really aggravating. Don't complain like all hell that you want to spend more time with me, and then when I offer to, suddenly not want to anymore.

I HAVE THINGS I COULD BE DOING. <- lies

...sort of. >_>;; I mean, I could very well be in Markham visiting people instead of stuck in this pit of snow and nothingness, not to mention near isolation. But like hell my father will drive me anywhere, my dad's already fucking pissed because he had to pick up my brother from school. And there are no busses in Stouffville after 4:00 ^___^ Except for GO Busses, which are expensive and are situated a few miles in the snowy blizzard of a town away.

A:SLDKsaR:LFKDAS:FLKDSFSLKDG:LSD.

I...really need a break. And my brother's coming home soon and I know he's going to kick me off. Fuckery.

break, stress, neurosis, school

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