some things that I've finally realized
Lifes all about ups and down but I believe we cant sit here and be sad
about the past....we only live once why spend our lifes being depressed
and letting people get to us..life is not easy it was never meant to be
easy if it was always easy all the time when you think about it there
really wouldnt be much of a point for anyof us to live... I believe you
can choose your own happiness so why not choose to be happy and not let
what other people say do or think about you bring you down or effect
what you choose to do in life its pointless and the way I look at it is
in order to live a happy life you need to be happy with yourself and
live it for yourself or else your just not fully living...the way I
look at it is as these tasks we have to go through in our lifes we
learn alot we learn who to trust and not to trust how to trust and who
our true friends are..life isnt about how many friends you have or how
many people think your cool life is all about knowing where you sand
and who will be there to stand with you and who u can cry with when it
seems theres no one else around.. I know lifes tough the last few
months have been really hard on me I had my heart broken I was lied to
and pulled around on a string and then once I got off the string I felt
I had no one but the reason why that was is becuase when I was on the
string everyone else left not becuase they wanted to but becuase in
some way sadly I pushed them away they came back though and now my life
is better then its ever been I've lost over 20lbs got my belly button
done found a hair style that fits me lol......and sadly I've also had
alot of people come and go. I've had friends who I've had hard times
with come back into my life but yet I still dont even get to hang out
with them yet alone talk with them becuase their to busy...I also
believe no matter how strong of a person you think you are there comes
a time in your life where you just need to let yourself go and talk
about things that are bugging you, I kept stuff inside me for to long
thinking it would be better for me and everyone else and I ended up
losing it I thought I was going to lead a life that would end up
hurting myself or someone I loved...I just wish more people would get
out there and make something of their lifes dont sit around being
depressed and shutting off everyone who cares about you and wants to be
there for you....if I knew I had people there for me I would run to
them and fall into their arms when times got tough....no one can live
in the past if you do it will just tear you up inside...I've learned no
matter how long its been you will never be able to erase what you went
through but you can move on and the hurt is not as bad as it once was
because you will laugh again and you will have fun again and you will
also find love again no one ever said it was easy getting over
something. No matter what it was you delt with the sun will shine for
you again...I'm never going to get over some of the things in life I've
had to go through but I know I learned from it and I will not make the
same mistakes I made back then again and I wish the the same for
everyone else no matter what you've gone through....I would like to
thank all of you guys Korv Bruce Freddy Summer Bree Krazy Sexy my Mom
and Dad Sam D Sarah and Carlos Noah Sam and Vaughn.. all of you guys
you all have made my life better and I love and thank you all greatly
for being there for me and being here for me now I just want you all to
know that I will be here for you guys not matter what time day or
night...when ever you need someone to talk to about anything it would
mean a lot If I was the one who was called becuase I would love nothing
more then to do for you guys what you've all done for me I owe it to
all of you...........................
So I'm sure by reading this I dont really have to say how I've been...My life has gone up and down for over a year now but the bad is slowly dying down I've got friends that mean more to me then anyone I've ever been with or delt with in my past and its a good feeling they fill up my heart and I love them all more then ever....lastnight I got my hair done again I've finally reached the emo point I've been looking for so now from here it will be easy. Korv went with and then we all hung out and Krazy came over and we've all realized I'm as their words have been lately " special" I almost made Korv and everyone cry lastnight becuase they were laughing so hard hehe it was great...this week or next I'm going to go get my perment I'm finally done with the book did it take me long enough???? yes because I've been hella busy with the guys....found out being with someone is just what I dont need found out some "people" I'm not really friends with but talk to sometimes dont have it as good as they might think they do a lot of things being hiden from one another =\ but o well not my deal.. well I'm off 2 get ready going to talk with Summer for a bit and then get ready to hang out with my Freddy! <3
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