Holiday Dramarama
So I went on my first Christmas shopping expedition yesterday with my mother and sister. It was a bad idea for a number of reasons, including but not limited to:
1. The insane line of cars to get into the mall. At first we weren't even going to be able to get in the endless line, until my little sister - the flirt - waved at some old guy from the back seat, and he let us in front of him. We drove around the perimeter for at least thirty minutes, which is ridiculous because as soon as we got into the garage, nearly half the spaces were free. People are circling and giving the impression of it being way more crowded than it is. I did not know how to help the masses when I discovered it, so I let it slide.
2. Two of the people I wanted to shop for were with me, and my brother only wants things from this store in Georgetown. So it wasn't all that productive.
3. Random smattering of snacks. I had cookies at home to bake, but sis and I got hungry, and gave a small fortune to Aunt Annie's Pretzels.
... But the real reason the whole experience was unpleasant is exceedingly shallow.
Since graduating/working on my financial independence, I've curbed previously excessive shopping habits to be more appropriate for a 22 year old only working part time and trying to get her life together. I've actually pretty proud of the way I tend not to spend unless I have to, and a big part of that success is due to staying out of stores unless I have something specific to buy. The one time I realized I absolutely needed to buy a new pair of shoes, I was with my mom, and I got a little tearful before we went into the store. I don't know if that was because I didn't want to give in, or I felt bad for having to shop. I also think I was stressed but ... needless to say, it was not that pleasant.
I care a lot about what I fashion, and of late I've been kind of displeased, but yesterday I was feeling pretty cute and then I went to the mall and saw all these very stylish people in things that I wish I could afford to wear. Things that I would wear if I allowed myself to indulge. But I've been denying myself for a while and being around all those new things just made me feel weirdly insecure.
On the way home I made the mistake of sharing these feelings with my mom, but I think she was in some kind of 'mood' because she told me I should a) not go to the mall again ... which just isn't that reasonable, and b) should buy some stuff.
IDK. If I'm silent, she just asks why I'm 'mad' and if I share, she makes it out like the problem is actually bigger than it is. I didn't think it was so horrible, I just wanted to hear that I was pretty and didn't need a whole lot of new stuff. Not that I can't handle being in a mall ... because I'm pretty sure I can.
But on a brighter note, today was lovely. I a) am close to done with the second half of my holiday!crackfic, b) saw The Princess and the Frog, and c) set my New Year's Eve plans with my friends. NYC reunion of the blocking group! Love my silly boys.
So as of tonight, all's good in the hood. ♥
1. The insane line of cars to get into the mall. At first we weren't even going to be able to get in the endless line, until my little sister - the flirt - waved at some old guy from the back seat, and he let us in front of him. We drove around the perimeter for at least thirty minutes, which is ridiculous because as soon as we got into the garage, nearly half the spaces were free. People are circling and giving the impression of it being way more crowded than it is. I did not know how to help the masses when I discovered it, so I let it slide.
2. Two of the people I wanted to shop for were with me, and my brother only wants things from this store in Georgetown. So it wasn't all that productive.
3. Random smattering of snacks. I had cookies at home to bake, but sis and I got hungry, and gave a small fortune to Aunt Annie's Pretzels.
... But the real reason the whole experience was unpleasant is exceedingly shallow.
Since graduating/working on my financial independence, I've curbed previously excessive shopping habits to be more appropriate for a 22 year old only working part time and trying to get her life together. I've actually pretty proud of the way I tend not to spend unless I have to, and a big part of that success is due to staying out of stores unless I have something specific to buy. The one time I realized I absolutely needed to buy a new pair of shoes, I was with my mom, and I got a little tearful before we went into the store. I don't know if that was because I didn't want to give in, or I felt bad for having to shop. I also think I was stressed but ... needless to say, it was not that pleasant.
I care a lot about what I fashion, and of late I've been kind of displeased, but yesterday I was feeling pretty cute and then I went to the mall and saw all these very stylish people in things that I wish I could afford to wear. Things that I would wear if I allowed myself to indulge. But I've been denying myself for a while and being around all those new things just made me feel weirdly insecure.
On the way home I made the mistake of sharing these feelings with my mom, but I think she was in some kind of 'mood' because she told me I should a) not go to the mall again ... which just isn't that reasonable, and b) should buy some stuff.
IDK. If I'm silent, she just asks why I'm 'mad' and if I share, she makes it out like the problem is actually bigger than it is. I didn't think it was so horrible, I just wanted to hear that I was pretty and didn't need a whole lot of new stuff. Not that I can't handle being in a mall ... because I'm pretty sure I can.
But on a brighter note, today was lovely. I a) am close to done with the second half of my holiday!crackfic, b) saw The Princess and the Frog, and c) set my New Year's Eve plans with my friends. NYC reunion of the blocking group! Love my silly boys.
So as of tonight, all's good in the hood. ♥