long time no interest
i havent updated in a very long time... i dont know why... maybe because i usually look back at these and make fun of myslef.. sometimes i cant even read my entrys... cause im a liar.. and a drama queen.. and i sound like everything i hate.. or maybe because im almost 21 years old and i think i should be done with blogs and shit like myspace and aim. i dont want a virtual life.. i want a real one. something tangible. something i can photograph something i can remember and something i can hold on to.
but the truth is.. this year has been close to perfect. my future doesnt seem so dark and so lonely..if i end up alone.. i end up alone.. doesnt matter anymore... my i feel more alive then ever.. this year pushed me in so many ways and i came out better in the end.. definatly happier and more grateful. the people i met this year will forever be part of me... friends forever... i never knew what a friend was until i met them... the best feeling is knowing that someone will always listen to you.. even if you have to crawl in bed with them at 3 am... i know these people will always pick up my calls...no yelling or whining.. i never knew what it felt like to be cared about until i met them... moving back home wont even change that.. cause they think its worth it to see me and i feel the same way about them. i never knew what it felt like to have someone make time for you but im glad i finally got to know. ive weeded out the bad and let the good bloom.. im finally acting like me.
i worked hard this year, I never worked hard at anything, straight A's, 2 projects in expo's and conferences, a final electronic music piece that im proud of... and amazing friends and family...
i never thought that id have enough decent songs to make an ep.. but this year happened and i documented it all... and i never thought that someone would look to me for advice about music.. this summer i will be part of something amazing... something beautiful and honest... i never would of thought this is where i would end up... but ive never been more excited for my life...
i learned so much this year... and only a quarter of it came from school..
if you're unhappy, you're ungrateful
but the truth is.. this year has been close to perfect. my future doesnt seem so dark and so lonely..if i end up alone.. i end up alone.. doesnt matter anymore... my i feel more alive then ever.. this year pushed me in so many ways and i came out better in the end.. definatly happier and more grateful. the people i met this year will forever be part of me... friends forever... i never knew what a friend was until i met them... the best feeling is knowing that someone will always listen to you.. even if you have to crawl in bed with them at 3 am... i know these people will always pick up my calls...no yelling or whining.. i never knew what it felt like to be cared about until i met them... moving back home wont even change that.. cause they think its worth it to see me and i feel the same way about them. i never knew what it felt like to have someone make time for you but im glad i finally got to know. ive weeded out the bad and let the good bloom.. im finally acting like me.
i worked hard this year, I never worked hard at anything, straight A's, 2 projects in expo's and conferences, a final electronic music piece that im proud of... and amazing friends and family...
i never thought that id have enough decent songs to make an ep.. but this year happened and i documented it all... and i never thought that someone would look to me for advice about music.. this summer i will be part of something amazing... something beautiful and honest... i never would of thought this is where i would end up... but ive never been more excited for my life...
i learned so much this year... and only a quarter of it came from school..
if you're unhappy, you're ungrateful