someone notify the authorities

[imgelling]

yeah so i was home all alone after being dropped off from a night with lauren and barbs (totallyawesome).. i turned off all the lights in my house and get undressed for bed. i was getting into bed as i hear this HUGE crash followed by what i thought were footsteps coming up the stairs. Naturally, i wanted to piss my pants. but instead i slammed my door, locked it, and opened my window. i popped out the screen and jumped on my roof. i then jumped down from the 2nd floor onto my dad's van and hauled ass down the street. i called the cops and like 10 squad cars pull up and block off my street. 3845722223 cops raided my house with guns and such. as i'm standing outside barefoot and in my almost-soiled boxers and already-frozen nipples they tell me the noise i heard was the toilet seat falling (my dad later told me he left it up). and the footsteps i thought i heard was really the toilet seat bouncing on the toilet bowl. needless to say, my already frozen penis shrunk back into my stomach with embarrassment. alright kiddies, so next time you piss PUT DOWN THE FUCKING SEAT, who knows what kind of robber and/or murderer/rapist you could be creating in your very own home. certain people tell me i should have faced this incident like a man. i'm sorry folks, if i think someone is in my house, i'm going to run, not search my house armed with a clothes-hanger or a sharpened pencil like all the morons in those horror movies.
i'm so thankful though, i got off lucky. i could have been killed, and i got away with a mere phobia of toilets, and now have to go peepee in the shower.

aside from that, my weekend shared with candice, lauren, and barbara was totallyawesome. those three gals really hit the spot <3

christine is moving ;{

PEE.S: holla at uhmanduh and bobert for the layout and icon <3