How I'm Feeling
I have some much feelings and emotions going through my mind right now that I don't what to deal with first. Or even know how to solve them. Why does life have to be so damn hard and complicated?
I don't know how to even begin to help myself. To feel better about myself and love myself for me. I hate the way I look, the way I feel. I can just imagine what people faces look like and what they say when they look at me. "Fatty, pig, whale, cow, hippo, disgusting, gross, etc." The thing is that I say the exact same thing to myself all the time. Just once I'd like to look into the mirror and see me instead of a overweight person in a fat suit with the zipper stuck.
Three years I've been trying to lose weight and all that I have managed to gained what I lost and some more. I'll be honest, I lost 52 pounds and gained back 60. And each day that goes by, I get more depressed and less energy to start losing it again.
I see these beautiful and skinny girls and wish that I looked like them. I'd love to wear jeans again. To feel the confidence I felt when I was younger. To wake up in the morning and somewhat feel happy to be alive, instead of praying I don't wake up and feel pain, sadness, misery and depressed.
Sorry, I get carried away sometimes when I have a lot built up in my mind.
Audrey
I don't know how to even begin to help myself. To feel better about myself and love myself for me. I hate the way I look, the way I feel. I can just imagine what people faces look like and what they say when they look at me. "Fatty, pig, whale, cow, hippo, disgusting, gross, etc." The thing is that I say the exact same thing to myself all the time. Just once I'd like to look into the mirror and see me instead of a overweight person in a fat suit with the zipper stuck.
Three years I've been trying to lose weight and all that I have managed to gained what I lost and some more. I'll be honest, I lost 52 pounds and gained back 60. And each day that goes by, I get more depressed and less energy to start losing it again.
I see these beautiful and skinny girls and wish that I looked like them. I'd love to wear jeans again. To feel the confidence I felt when I was younger. To wake up in the morning and somewhat feel happy to be alive, instead of praying I don't wake up and feel pain, sadness, misery and depressed.
Sorry, I get carried away sometimes when I have a lot built up in my mind.
Audrey