Am I In The Wrong?
Is it wrong for me to want things my way for a change?
I've not been on this properly in ages due to getting used to being a mum, and family issues... and also my health aint been too good recently.
Family issues appear to have resolved themselves, partly due to health issues which is odd... my dad refused to talk to me for around 6weeks, until i ended up in hospital with my gallstones... reason behind my dad not talking to me, was because im allowing andrew to be involved in Alyx's life... my dad told me to tell andrew to fuck off, and cos i refused, he disowned me, but now he's talking to me again, which is good.
On the Andrew front, i'm starting to lose my rag with him... its like he's just picking and choosing when he helps and comes to see Alyx, which really aint fair... so needless to say we've been fighting a lot. He's moved out of his mums and refusing to tell me where he stays now... I called him when i got out of surgery on Thursday cos he was the only person who knew the extent of how scared i was about it, and he started screaming at me and gave me nothing but abuse... just what i needed literally half an hour after coming out of recovery... he refused to come to mines on Friday night to look after Alyx cos im finding it difficult to bend etc... he text me on Saturday saying he loves Stef and Alyx and im coming between them both... WTF?! i've been stupid enough to sleep with him again, maybe it was my hormones, but i know that aint the point... why sleep with me if he's in love with someone else? makes no sense to me, does it to any of you?
So now i've given him an ultimatum... Alyx or Stef... is that wrong of me? i dont think it is... im not allowing him to hurt my daughter like he's hurt me... i will not allow him to put Alyx 2nd best to the bitch who threatened to beat the shit out of me when i was pregnant, and who has constantly been on the phone when andrew is at mines looking after our daughter... im not having it, and unless he opts to be a dad, rather than Stef's boyfriend, im afraid he'll have nothing to do with Alyx, and i'll have to break my little girls heart when she's older and asks why she doesnt have a daddy like most other kids, by telling her that her daddy would rather have a girlfriend who wanted to hurt her mummy than have a daughter...
Am i being petty? probably... i really dont give a fuck though... im sick of everything being more important than Alyx in his life... the last 8weeks have been so difficult for me... i had a C-Section, got out the hospital after 5 days, then ended up back in with an infection in the wound, then got back out after 3 days, andrews been up and down with his interest in Alyx, picking fights with me over nothing (which then results in him refusing to come out and help out with her), having chest pains which resulted in me, Jen and Hammy endin up in AnE instead of the club a couple of Saturdays ago, then ended up in hospital to get my gallbladder removed...
Nothing is going my way, so im putting my foot down... if he aint prepared to do things my way, then he can fuck off... end of story... i reckon my hormones are still messed up, but i can accept we aint a good couple, and wont be together again... but i cannot accept him being with Stef again after all this... no way... and if he wants her, he aint being involved with Alyx.
OOOh im just sooo angry, upset and pissed off *cries*
I've not been on this properly in ages due to getting used to being a mum, and family issues... and also my health aint been too good recently.
Family issues appear to have resolved themselves, partly due to health issues which is odd... my dad refused to talk to me for around 6weeks, until i ended up in hospital with my gallstones... reason behind my dad not talking to me, was because im allowing andrew to be involved in Alyx's life... my dad told me to tell andrew to fuck off, and cos i refused, he disowned me, but now he's talking to me again, which is good.
On the Andrew front, i'm starting to lose my rag with him... its like he's just picking and choosing when he helps and comes to see Alyx, which really aint fair... so needless to say we've been fighting a lot. He's moved out of his mums and refusing to tell me where he stays now... I called him when i got out of surgery on Thursday cos he was the only person who knew the extent of how scared i was about it, and he started screaming at me and gave me nothing but abuse... just what i needed literally half an hour after coming out of recovery... he refused to come to mines on Friday night to look after Alyx cos im finding it difficult to bend etc... he text me on Saturday saying he loves Stef and Alyx and im coming between them both... WTF?! i've been stupid enough to sleep with him again, maybe it was my hormones, but i know that aint the point... why sleep with me if he's in love with someone else? makes no sense to me, does it to any of you?
So now i've given him an ultimatum... Alyx or Stef... is that wrong of me? i dont think it is... im not allowing him to hurt my daughter like he's hurt me... i will not allow him to put Alyx 2nd best to the bitch who threatened to beat the shit out of me when i was pregnant, and who has constantly been on the phone when andrew is at mines looking after our daughter... im not having it, and unless he opts to be a dad, rather than Stef's boyfriend, im afraid he'll have nothing to do with Alyx, and i'll have to break my little girls heart when she's older and asks why she doesnt have a daddy like most other kids, by telling her that her daddy would rather have a girlfriend who wanted to hurt her mummy than have a daughter...
Am i being petty? probably... i really dont give a fuck though... im sick of everything being more important than Alyx in his life... the last 8weeks have been so difficult for me... i had a C-Section, got out the hospital after 5 days, then ended up back in with an infection in the wound, then got back out after 3 days, andrews been up and down with his interest in Alyx, picking fights with me over nothing (which then results in him refusing to come out and help out with her), having chest pains which resulted in me, Jen and Hammy endin up in AnE instead of the club a couple of Saturdays ago, then ended up in hospital to get my gallbladder removed...
Nothing is going my way, so im putting my foot down... if he aint prepared to do things my way, then he can fuck off... end of story... i reckon my hormones are still messed up, but i can accept we aint a good couple, and wont be together again... but i cannot accept him being with Stef again after all this... no way... and if he wants her, he aint being involved with Alyx.
OOOh im just sooo angry, upset and pissed off *cries*