my indifference to me
im in love with an evil world. but, i have to give it credit, because sometimes, it has it's moments.
winter is a very depressing time, especially in ohio. the snow, the cold, they usually don't really do it for me, but tonight, tonight, is one of those moments i was talking about. i walked out to the end of my driveway, and everything in the world seemed, right. its been snowing, just about all day today. the wind's been blowing all day as well, and they, the snow and the wind, have been painting beautiful pictures all over the ground. at the end of the drive, and in the middle of the road, with the snow covering the pine trees that line the dull street of geneva, the town seemed at peace, with itself. the cars that would drive by on occasion, about one every couple of minutes or so, driving slow and cautious, to avoid the icy mishaps that are known to occur in this type of weather, carry people to their homes, to their all night diners, to their children, to their beds, to sleep or eat and get ready for tomorrow; another hectic day in the world, of their miserable, pointless lives.
i stood there, at the end of my driveway, staring down into the darkness of the end of the road, lit by street lights and halos comforting the houses they lay in front of, guiding the passengers of cars home. the wind blew threw the trees, and the white trash wind chimes on the houses that surround me created beautiful, beautiful music. its strange, the way things you hate or normally brush off, can be so beautiful. some of the simplist things contain so much beauty. the way a porch light shuts off, creating an empty void, creating nothing is so remarkable. the hum of a car exhaust as it slices through silence has so much to say. the sound of a door closing, or a lock turning, can be some of the most wonderful sounds you've ever heard.
i began to question the things i'm doing, and the things i want to do in the future. i questioned why i do these things, and why i want to do these things. what in my life is important to me? what in your life is important to you? why? i took a long drag on my cigarette and felt the warm smoke fill my lungs. as i exhaled i watched the smoke mix into the cold cold air, and float toward the sky, the dark infinate piece of heaven i fear ill never see.
i glanced down and saw my foot prints, shuffled around, smashing in the snow; a mark of where i have been, destroying the art the wind created. i looked back and saw all my prints leading to the point at which i was standing and could see each and every one. every step i took was right there. my way back to the house, to the porch, to the door, to the stairs, to my room, to my bed.
i wish life could be as easy as following foot prints in the snow. prints that were too deep would tell you not to step there, your feet are going to get wet. everyones mistakes were laid right out if front of you, of me. which way do i go? follow the foot prints.
follow the foot prints. my map of mistakes to never make again.
winter is a very depressing time, especially in ohio. the snow, the cold, they usually don't really do it for me, but tonight, tonight, is one of those moments i was talking about. i walked out to the end of my driveway, and everything in the world seemed, right. its been snowing, just about all day today. the wind's been blowing all day as well, and they, the snow and the wind, have been painting beautiful pictures all over the ground. at the end of the drive, and in the middle of the road, with the snow covering the pine trees that line the dull street of geneva, the town seemed at peace, with itself. the cars that would drive by on occasion, about one every couple of minutes or so, driving slow and cautious, to avoid the icy mishaps that are known to occur in this type of weather, carry people to their homes, to their all night diners, to their children, to their beds, to sleep or eat and get ready for tomorrow; another hectic day in the world, of their miserable, pointless lives.
i stood there, at the end of my driveway, staring down into the darkness of the end of the road, lit by street lights and halos comforting the houses they lay in front of, guiding the passengers of cars home. the wind blew threw the trees, and the white trash wind chimes on the houses that surround me created beautiful, beautiful music. its strange, the way things you hate or normally brush off, can be so beautiful. some of the simplist things contain so much beauty. the way a porch light shuts off, creating an empty void, creating nothing is so remarkable. the hum of a car exhaust as it slices through silence has so much to say. the sound of a door closing, or a lock turning, can be some of the most wonderful sounds you've ever heard.
i began to question the things i'm doing, and the things i want to do in the future. i questioned why i do these things, and why i want to do these things. what in my life is important to me? what in your life is important to you? why? i took a long drag on my cigarette and felt the warm smoke fill my lungs. as i exhaled i watched the smoke mix into the cold cold air, and float toward the sky, the dark infinate piece of heaven i fear ill never see.
i glanced down and saw my foot prints, shuffled around, smashing in the snow; a mark of where i have been, destroying the art the wind created. i looked back and saw all my prints leading to the point at which i was standing and could see each and every one. every step i took was right there. my way back to the house, to the porch, to the door, to the stairs, to my room, to my bed.
i wish life could be as easy as following foot prints in the snow. prints that were too deep would tell you not to step there, your feet are going to get wet. everyones mistakes were laid right out if front of you, of me. which way do i go? follow the foot prints.
follow the foot prints. my map of mistakes to never make again.