Two Steps Back, Part 2, 1/?
LJ only lets me paste plain text now, and I got bored, so half the italics aren't here. If you want the easy read version, check ff.net on Friday. Alternatively, check it out here. Will put it on IJ later, when I can be bothered with formatting as cross-posting refuses to co-operate with this size post.
Two Steps Back
Part 2
Chapter 1
“Naruto!” Chouji called cheerfully. “You passed!”
Naruto blinked and then looked up with a fanged grin. His hair was kept out of his eyes with his forehead protector, and the whisker-marks that had been so pronounced as a child had faded to the point where they weren’t even visible. He was wearing long black shorts and an orange jacket, and his hands were shoved in his pockets as he moved at an easy pace. “I’m wearin’ the forehead protector, aren’t I?” he shouted back, making his way into the classroom, and Chouji laughed.
“We weren’t sure, because you missed the exam,” he explained. “Sakura was frantic.”
“I was not!” Sakura protested loudly, brushing short pink hair away from her eyes and making a note to herself to cut it again. “I just didn’t think it would look good for Hideyoshi-sensei if his own son failed the genin exam.” She turned huffily to Ino. “You! Why didn’t you tell me that he’d still be able to pass?”
Ino held up her hands in mock surrender. “I didn’t know for certain,” she said. “I just knew there was something about a make-up exam because it wasn’t Naruto’s fault he missed it. And by the way-” she swivelled and held out a hand to Naruto, wiggling her fingers. “High-five bitch! You must have scored ridiculously highly to make up for all your absences.”
“I’m just that good,” Naruto said smugly, slapping Ino’s hand and bumping her shoulder playfully as he slid into the seat next to her. “’Sides, they wouldn’t have let me fail. They love me too much.”
Shikamaru shook his head from behind them. “I can’t believe you get away with so much,” he said, but he sounded more entertained than anything - it was hard to tell under the apathy.
Sasuke huffed, his face drawn up into careful superiority. “There shouldn’t be allowances made for anyone,” he said, with careful weight. “To do so brings down the academy standards significantly.” Ino rolled her eyes at Naruto, and he bared his teeth in a mocking grin.
“And this comes from the guy who wouldn’t stop bitching for a month about not being able to take the genin exams early,” Daisuke interjected, leaning back on one elbow. He ran a hand through his dark hair affectedly, spiking it up slightly as he pitched his voice into a high whine. “But sensei, it’s not fair, I’m an Uchiha.”
Sasuke’s hair seemed to bristle in offence, his composure failing as his eyebrows drew down into a forbidding glower. “I could beat you in a fight any day,” he hissed. “At least I didn’t fail down a year.”
“Alas,” Daisuke sighed. “Probably true. Your words wound me, deep inside.” Sakura rolled her eyes and elbowed him sharply in the stomach and Daisuke yelped, pouting at her. “Seriously Sakura,” he muttered and then leant in closer so no one else could hear his words. “Him? Why?” Sakura flushed pink and refused to answer.
“Anyway,” Ino said, raising an eyebrow at Naruto. “Team Yamanaka for the win?”
“Hell yes,” Naruto whooped, and they high-fived again. Ayame groaned from where she was sat, in front of the two of them and sandwiched by two girls who were refusing to pay attention to the noise behind them.
“You guys are-”
“Awesome?” Naruto offered.
“Fantastic?” Ino said, leaning her head on her hand as she peered down at Ayame.
“Hilarious?”
“Devilishly attractive?”
“Retarded,” Ayame said, shaking her head. They shrugged in unison and looked like they were about to respond when Iruka came through the door.
“Alright, settle down,” he shouted, waiting for the grumbling to subside as students twisted around to face the front mutinously. “First of all, congratulations to you all on making genin,” he said, his eyes passing across them indiscriminately. “I expect you to do Konoha proud.” Naruto looked like he was about to say something to Ino, and Iruka narrowed his eyes. As if sensing his sensei’s thoughts, Naruto leaned back without saying anything, and blinked his eyes angelically up at Iruka.
Iruka frowned, about to say something disapproving, and then changed his mind. “As a start to your career, you will be divided into three-man cells. These cells have been carefully formulated to bring out the best in every student, so there are to be no complaints.”
“Come on Team Yamanaka,” Ino muttered, her fingers crossed, and Naruto bit back a laugh.
“Team One,” Iruka said loudly, “Morioka Mai, Watanabe Kichirou, and Ito Takeshi. Your sensei will be Gekkou Hayate.”
There was a variety of low-level grumbling as Iruka sorted the teams out - with the notable exception of the Kurama twins, who cheered loudly when they were put on Team Four together. None of Kenshin’s students paid too much attention, however, until their names were read out.
“Team Six, Morino Daisuke, Namiashi Ayame and Sakamoto Yuu. Your sensei is Shiranui Genma.”
Daisuke sighed and looked over to where Ayame sat, offering a two-fingered salute. She nodded back regally, both of them all but ignoring Yuu who was looking distinctly sulky. Sakura pulled a face and bumped shoulders with her best friend. “We’ll still meet up, team or not,” she muttered determinedly, and Daisuke nodded sharply. Iruka wasn’t paying too much attention to the undercurrents, reading out the next team without glancing up from his scroll.
“Team Seven - Haruno Sakura, Hideyoshi Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke.”
“…What?” Naruto said after a pause. “That makes absolutely no sense.”
“I said there were to be no complaints, Naruto,” Iruka snapped, and Naruto flailed.
“I wasn’t complaining! Well, I was, but not in the way you meant!”
“He means that it seems a bit pointless to put us together when both Naruto and myself are support ninja. We’ll have no one capable of fighting close up,” Sakura interjected quickly, before things could devolve further.
“And our long-range is a massive dick who’ll probably fireball me in the back,” Naruto said helpfully, and Ino snickered.
“We could switch,” Ayame said helpfully. “Daisuke for Naruto. I’m happy with that.”
“Hey!” Daisuke objected, and Ayame eyed him.
“What?” she said. “You’re best friends with Sakura and you’re decent with close-range techniques. I thought you’d be jumping at the chance.”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t have to make it sound like you were getting the better deal with Naruto,” Daisuke said, crossing his arms huffily.
“Enough!” Iruka snapped. “If you have any real problems, you may take submit them using the appropriate forms but as you are only genin, you will not have any problems. Is that clear?”
“Crystal,” Naruto said, a grin playing around his lips as he exchanged a look with Sakura. What’s got his panties in a twist? they both thought, with varying degrees of disdain.
“Your sensei will be Hatake Kakashi-”
“No way!” Sasuke shouted in protest. “That man’s a disgrace-”
“Be QUIET!” Iruka bellowed, the veins standing out in his necks. “Hatake Kakashi is a jounin of Konoha and you will show him the appropriate respect, genin!”
Sasuke subsided, barely keeping from mumbling to himself. His father was not going to be happy about this - and the elders would spend their time complaining about how the Uchiha were being disregarded in Konoha. No doubt that make him train even harder tonight, but it would be worth it. He had to redeem the honour of the Uchiha, even if Konoha was determined not to allow him to do so.
“Team Eight is Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji. Your sensei is Sarutobi Asuma.”
Ino sighed through her nose, looking at Naruto with miserable reluctance. “We’re still being called Team Yamanaka,” she informed her team-mates. Shikamaru grunted his acquiescence, and Chouji just smiled, relaxed.
Team Nine and Ten were finished without any further complaints, and Iruka snapped his scroll shut abruptly. He looked as though he was torn between saying something encouraging, and shouting at them all for their attitudes, but instead he just shook his head. “Your sensei will be meeting you in the classroom after lunch. Until then, you’re all dismissed to get to know your team-mates.”
The classroom erupted into a babble of noise as Iruka left, and Naruto slouched back in his seat. “Well, that sucks.”
“Tell me about it,” Ino said with a grimace. “I mean, Shikamaru and Chouji are good guys but- damn, we would have been awesome together.”
“Eh,” Naruto said with a shrug. “Sooner or later we’ll get assigned together. I mean, Sasuke doesn’t exactly scream ‘subtle’, does he?”
They both turned to see where Sasuke was glowering a stuttering Sakura down, who was looking more distressed by the second at her team-mate’s dismissal.
“Twenty seconds ‘till she punches him?” Naruto suggested idly, and Ino rolled her eyes.
“Go and back your team-mate up, dummy,” she said, shoving him out of his seat. “’Sides, Daisuke will break your head in if he thinks you’re letting Sakura get bullied.” Naruto huffed a laugh, getting to his feet.
“Twenty seconds ‘till Daisuke punches him?” he offered hopefully, and Ino snickered. He shook himself, and bounced cheerfully over to where Sakura was standing awkwardly in front of Sasuke. “So, team-mates!” he greeted with a beaming grin, sticking two thumbs up. “We’re goin’ to be the number one team of pure awesomeness, right? Believe it!”
Sasuke looked at him, his normally carefully put together mask of superiority morphing into one of incredulity. Naruto managed to keep his fixed grin in place, although his shoulders were starting to shake with the attempt not to laugh. Sakura’s helpless giggles broke Sasuke out of his shock, and he blinked twice, rapidly.
“Hideyoshi,” he said, nodding curtly. There was a pause, and Sasuke seemed to be forcing himself into saying further words. “Haruno. I… look forward to working with both of you in a successful cell. My apologies, but I must leave you for a while.” He nodded again to the both of them, and left swiftly.
Naruto watched him go with a look of fascination on his face - and he wasn’t the only one. “My god,” Daisuke said, in a tone of wonder. “Was the Uchiha Sasuke almost civil there?”
“Daisuke!” Sakura protested, slapping at his arm, and Daisuke laughed.
“C’mon, Sakura, the guy’s made an art-form out of being unpleasant. We mere mortals are far below the notice of the almighty Uchiha clan.”
“Ah,” Naruto said, an odd smile on his face. “But he is a genin now, making him an adult - and he does have to uphold the honour of the Uchiha.”
“You think-” Ino said, from the side, eyes flicking to Naruto’s as she tapped her knee twice. Naruto shook his head suddenly, losing the strange expression.
“Just an idea,” he said, rubbing his thumb across his index finger, and Ino nodded in understanding. Shikamaru watched the two of them with sharp eyes but said nothing - just offered a quirked eyebrow when Naruto met his eyes in recognition.
“Anyway,” Naruto said, looking around at everyone, as the other teams began filing out. Sakamoto Yuu took a long look at his team-mates, and left, in a bit of a huff. The rest of them - Kenshin’s students - had gravitated to a clump at the back of the room, pulling out their lunches. “Dad burnt the rice again and I overslept, so I have no lunch. Would anyone like to donate to a good cause?”
Chouji laughed, pulling out what seemed to be the contents of an entire fridge with great cheer. “My mum was up last night cooking,” he explained proudly. “She wanted to make sure we could celebrate, and she thinks some of us,” and he glanced significantly at Ino and Naruto, “Are too skinny.”
“Give,” Ino said immediately, stashing her own lunch back in her bag. “Your mother is a goddess, Chouji.”
“Seconded,” Naruto agreed. “Did she do any of those things, with the pork and-”
Chouji pointed to one of the boxes, and Naruto moaned happily. “Remind me to take your mother flowers, Chouji,” he said. “She is a beautiful, beautiful woman.” Chouji was clearly fighting back a blush of pride, but he also seemed to be expecting the praise as he handed out various boxes to Kenshin’s students, who had all clumped around him expectantly.
“Ooh,” Ino said, raising a finger. “We have these new lilies in we could give her, from Wind country - they’re gorgeous.”
“The purple-pink ones, right?” Naruto said, clearly interested, and Shikamaru groaned.
“Guys. Can we talk about something interesting to the rest of us?” he interrupted, and Ino hmphed sulkily.
“Yeah - how about what you and Sakura are going to do with Ice Queen Uchiha,” Daisuke said, after swallowing a mouthful of whatever-it-was he filched from a box.
“He’s not that bad,” Sakura protested. “I think he’s just… shy or something.”
The rummaging for food stopped as everyone stared at Sakura incredulously. “Well,” she said nervously. “Yuu’s not any better!”
Ayame cracked her knuckles cheerfully, a pleasant smile on her face. “We’ll break him of it.”
“Rapidly,” Daisuke agreed, matching her smile.
“…I’m a little disturbed,” Ino said, eyeing the two of them, and Daisuke flushed slightly.
“Before we talk about breaking in team-mates,” Shikamaru said impatiently, “There’s another exam.”
Everyone looked at him expectantly, and he shrugged under their combined gazes. “Tch, troublesome,” he grumbled, but continued. “There’s a difference between team genin and the reserve corps - if we fail a test our jounin-sensei gives us, we put into the reserve corps, which pretty much fucks up our chances for promotion, according to Tenten.”
Naruto and Ino wolf-whistled obligingly, just to see Shikamaru turn crimson. He tugged on his earring to distract himself. “Yes, thank you,” he said curtly. “Anyway - it’s always teams of three, you never get switched around after academy assignment until your first chuunin exam, and the test varies from jounin to jounin. Apparently most of them are about teamwork though, because squad genin are being trained up as leaders.”
Naruto nodded. “I’ve heard most of this before,” he confirmed. “I also recognise a couple of the jounin names, but the information I have,” he waved his hand from side to side. “Not really the most reliable.”
“Anything is better than nothing though, right?” Sakura said, using her chopsticks to separate out a ball of rice. There were a variety of nods around the group, and Naruto shrugged.
“Right, well. Hatake Kakashi is the most basic - he’s known as the copy-ninja, has a sharingan eye, reads an obscene amount of porn and is late to pretty much everything. He’s very, very good though - pretty much legendary level, which might explain why he was given the perfect prodigy Uchiha.”
Daisuke snickered, and then subsided at the glare Sakura shot him.
“Uh, Sarutobi Asuma is, as you might have guessed, the Hokage’s son. Spent some time as one of the Daimyo’s guards I think, and is pretty good with wind jutsus. He also once ended up naked and upside down in the ANBU locker rooms. I think there are still photos around the village if you need blackmail.”
“Oh great,” Ino said. “Our sensei’s a massive embarrassment.”
Naruto shot her a grin, and then carefully tilted his head to the left. “He’s a good guy,” he said. “Surprisin’ amount going on behind the eyes.”
Ino nodded slowly, and Naruto twisted to face Ayame, who was looking very intense.
“Shiranui Genma,” Naruto drawled out teasingly. “Best known for his ambition to sleep with someone from every clan in Konoha. He’s ‘parently about seventy five per cent of his way through.”
Ayame buried her head in her hands and groaned. “Great.”
“Specialises in poisons and assassinations, tends to work fairly closely with Intel. He also thinks he’s really funny.” Naruto shrugged. “Also a fairly nice guy from what I’ve seen, but hung-over, like, all of the time.”
Daisuke nodded thoughtfully. “I think I get my hands on some flash-bang tags,” he said. “Shizuka still sells them, right?”
“Still at a discount for Kenshin’s kids,” Ino said with a grin. “Otherwise I’d be broke.”
“Which reminds me,” Naruto said clicking his fingers, “You think Neji-”
“With the-“
“And we could-”
“Oh yes,” Ino said gleefully. “I’m sure we can corner him sometime soon.”
“And for those of us that need to speak in whole sentence…?” Shikamaru asked, and Ino smiled sweetly.
“Nothing you need to concern yourself with, oh team-mate of mine. We just haven’t talked to him in ages.”
“He might get grumpy without us,” Naruto said, nodding seriously, and Sakura raised a hand to muffle her laugh.
Shikamaru sighed in despair, and returned to eating.
------“You know, when you said our sensei was normally late, I didn’t think you meant three hours late,” Sakura said, pacing across the room. Naruto was lying on the desks, staring at the ceiling in mind-numbing boredom.
“You probably didn’t think I meant he read porn in public, either, but he does,” Naruto said and Sakura turned to stare at him.
“Seriously?” she yelped, and Naruto nodded.
“S’one of the reasons Dad doesn’t like him too much.”
Sasuke finally interjected from where he’d been intently regarding his fingertips. “Your father is Hideyoshi Kenshin, correct?”
“Yep,” Naruto said, his fingers twitching slightly with a desire to move.
“I… heard a rumour,” Sasuke began awkwardly, “That he’s an Uchiha, if born… slightly unorthodoxly.”
“Y’mean, you want to know if he’s a bastard Uchiha?” Naruto asked to clarify, and Sasuke looked a little indignant, even as he nodded.
Naruto shrugged. “Don’t know. Never spoken about it. ‘Sides, it’s none of your business one way or another.”
“If he’s an Uchiha, the clan-” Sasuke began, and Naruto snorted.
“He doesn’t like your clan,” he said flatly. “I don’t much like your clan, ‘cept for Shisui.” His hands were clenched into tight fists, before he forcibly relaxed them, trying hard not to remember.
“Naruto, it’s not fair to judge an entire clan,” Sakura inserted worriedly. “I’m sure Kenshin-sensei doesn’t really dislike them.”
Sasuke turned towards her, his eyes narrowed in confusion. “Kenshin-sensei?”
“Ah, yes,” Sakura said, tugging on a pink lock of hair nervously. “Kenshin-sensei took on a group of younger students when he had just arrived officially in Konoha. I was - am still - one of them.”
Sasuke blinked, and looked at Sakura more carefully. “I… see,” he said, clearly very curious, but not sure that manners would allow him to enquire too closely, and very determined to stick to them now that he was an adult. He turned back to Naruto after a moment’s pause. “He’s the one who wrote a book on chakra sensitivity?”
“He’s written several books,” Naruto yawned, managing to appear mostly unaffected.
“Something he said in one of them - I didn’t quite understand it. Would it be possible-?” Sasuke said. If he talked to this Hideyoshi Kenshin, then surely he’d know whether he was clan or not. He was sure no one could really dislike the Uchiha, not if they were related - not if they could have the chance for family.
Naruto sat up to meet Sasuke’s eyes, looking slightly bewildered that an Uchiha would actually ask for assistance. “This weekend,” he said decisively, after a moment of inspecting him, and understanding creeping into his eyes. He sounded a bit amused, and Sasuke hunched his shoulders defensively, not liking the tone of voice. It was almost like Naruto knew what he was thinking, and found it funny.
Sasuke blinked, and Naruto clarified. “Come over this weekend, ‘bout ten, and you can ask him your questions. I’ll give you my address later.”
Their conversation was interrupted by the door sliding in, and a mass of grey hair sticking in to the room. “Team Seven?” he asked cheerfully, and Sakura looked like she was about to throw a kunai at him.
“Yes,” Sasuke said curtly, his voice displaying the faint contempt of one regarding a lower life-form. Naruto managed - barely - not to snicker as Hatake Kakashi blinked his one visible eye slowly.
“Well, that’s a cheerful greeting,” he said, sounding entertained.
“You are three hours, forty three minutes late, sensei,” Sakura said, almost apologetically.
“Am I really?” Kakashi said, sounding shocked. “Well, you see, there was this black cat and I couldn’t walk past that, so I had to take a detour past an old woman’s house, where I was intercepted by a green beast who challenged me to a most fearsome task, and that must have made me late. It’s appalling of me, I know.”
Sakura’s hands clenched, preventing her from reaching for a weapon. Just one stab, right in the middle of his smug face…
“Right,” Kakashi said, clapping his hands together. “Up to the roof, children, chop chop.” He moved his hands into a fast set of seals, and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
“Really?” Sakura asked in despair, looking at her two team-mates, and Naruto shrugged.
------“So, kiddies, let’s all introduce ourselves,” Kakashi said, clapping his hands together and squinting his eyes into a broad smile. Sakura inched away from him, looking slightly disturbed.
“Let’s see,” Kakashi said, speaking slowly as if musing aloud. “Names, little description of yourselves and maybe your family, your likes, your hobbies, your dreams, that kind of thing.” He waved a hand nonchalantly. “How about you go first, blondie?”
Naruto twitched slightly, but managed to keep himself acting almost professional. “Hideyoshi Naruto, I’m the adopted son of Hideyoshi Kenshin, who’s a retired shinobi. I like ramen, gardening running. I also like hangin’ out with my cousin, Yamanaka Ino, and prankin’ people. My dream is to win a lifetime supply of ramen, which I will use to fill a swimming pool and have a massive ramen party with lots of attractive women.”
Sakura promptly thumped him.
“Ow! Sakura-” Naruto protested, and she raised her fist threateningly.
“Do you have to make a mockery of everything, Naruto?” she demanded, furiously, and Naruto widened his eyes, his lower lip quivering.
“I don’t criticise your dream, Sakura,” he said. “You’re just some- some hope-destroyer! I bet you don’t even like ramen!”
“Naruto!” Sakura shouted, and Kakashi cleared his throat.
“Moving on,” he said mildly. “Uchiha.”
Sasuke, who had been looking faintly taken-aback by the open display of immaturity by his team-mates, straightened perceptibly. “Uchiha Sasuke,” he said crisply. “Clan heir of the Uchiha clan, son of Uchiha Fugaku and Uchiha Mikoto. I like training and reading up on recent developments in chakra usage. I will see my clan’s honour restored, in any way necessary.”
Sakura looked deeply approving of Sasuke’s brief speech, elbowing Naruto as if to tell him to pay attention. Naruto slouched further, making a face.
“I see,” Kakashi said. “And finally…?”
“Haruno Sakura,” Sakura said, smiling prettily at her jounin-sensei, seemingly having forgotten the urge to stab him in the face that had struck her earlier. “I’m civilian-born, my father is a silk trader and my mother is a house-wife. I like reading, training with my friends and playing Shougi with Shikamaru. My dream is to develop medical seals, as well as being a capable combat shinobi.”
“Good, good,” Kakashi said. “Now, I have some-”
“Wait a second, sensei,” Naruto interrupted, and Kakashi cocked his head to one side in enquiry. “Aren’t you going to introduce yourself?”
“My,” Kakashi said dryly. “How rude of me. I must have forgotten. Hatake Kakashi, Konoha jounin, I like many things, but none for little ears, and my dream… well…” he giggled.
They all stared at him, but Kakashi didn’t seem to notice, still giggling slightly. Suddenly he cut himself off, serious again. “As I was saying, I have some unfortunate news for you - you aren’t genin yet.”
None of his genin blinked, surprising Kakashi somewhat. He’d been expecting the civilian kiddie to be taken aback at the very least, but he ploughed on, dismissing it for later thought. “Before you get to be genin, you have to pass my test,” he said ominously. “No one has ever managed it - believe me, at the very least, two-thirds of you will not be keeping your forehead-protector.”
Sakura shivered slightly, raising her hand to where her protector was tied tightly around her head. Sasuke narrowed his eyes in a glare at Kakashi, and Naruto’s left hand was twitching spasmodically.
Kakashi resisted the temptation to beam in satisfaction. That was far more appropriate. “Tomorrow.” He said sharply. “Six am. Training ground three.”
“Soo…” Naruto said slowly, resisting the temptation to grin. “That means about ten, right?”
Kakashi glowered at him, but continued as if there had been no interruption. “I’d advise you don’t eat if you don’t want to throw up. Dismissed!”
Naruto turned to look at Sakura, flicking three fingers up and Sakura nodded, latching on to Sasuke’s arm. “We’ll meet you there!” she said cheerfully, pulling Sasuke along with her to Naruto’s laughter.
------‘There’ turned out to be an abandoned playground off Sector 19 - one of the sectors that had been destroyed in the Kyuubi attack and was even now a mostly ruined mess. The years had turned it into a massive warren of collapsed apartments and walls, and rendered it one of the most popular spots for shinobi games, even if Sasuke had never been there before.
Sakura had promptly taken over one of the swings, and cheerfully explained that ‘they’ - meaning Kenshin’s students - often met in various spots about Sector 19. Her chatter had eventually run down however, and Sasuke was on the edge of excusing himself, regardless of rudeness, when Naruto finally showed up, dragging a reluctant-looking older genin behind him. Sakura looked confused as Sasuke felt, which he was fairly thankful for.
Naruto slanted his eyes towards the emotions that were flickering quickly over Sasuke’s face, and managed not to grin. To someone who’d grown up with Kenshin, reading other people’s emotions wasn’t a massive challenge - and that was even without the advantages he had.
“Kinjo Shirou, Uchiha Sasuke,” he introduced briefly. “I think you’ve already met Sakura.”
Shirou nodded briefly, sharp brown eyes darting across the three children and drawing his own conclusions. “You’re the unlucky bastards who pulled Hatake-san, then?” he said, and Sakura’s eyes widened in comprehension.
“You were assigned to his team before?” she asked, and Shirou nodded with a rueful smile.
“We failed so badly it was humiliating,” he said, in a nostalgic voice. “Believe me, that guy’s a dick.”
Sasuke looked towards Naruto, who shrugged. “My da always says it’s important to get as much intel as possible, and I remembered Shirou-sempai.”
“Just remember, you owe me dinner,” Shirou said in mock-warning. “And if it’s home-cooked, Hideyoshi-san isn’t allowed near it.”
“Da blew up the kitchen a few times,” Naruto explained, and Sakura winced in remembrance.
“He tried to make a cake for us once,” she revealed. “At least, I think it was meant to be a cake.”
“Even the Inuzuka dogs won’t touch his cooking,” Naruto said. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”
“…I see,” Sasuke said, not revealing his impatience. “What information did you have, Kinjo-san?”
“Hatake Kakashi,” Shirou drawled out, placing extra emphasis on each word. “Legendary jounin. Ex-ANBU. Massive, massive dick.” He paused. “And I meant that in a way that he is a dick, not that he has one.”
Sasuke blinked, and Naruto snickered.
“I’m fairly sure he reuses the same test every year,” Shirou said. “He’s seriously lazy that way. He calls it the Bell Test.”
-----“You,” Kakashi said, his one visible eye narrowed in displeasure, “Are late.”
Naruto blinked in some bewilderment, slanting a look in Sakura’s direction. “Two minutes,” she mouthed, holding her watch up.
“Uh, sorry sensei,” he offered insincerely. “I totally would have been on time, but I was ambushed by a crazed panda.”
There was a pause, where no one quite knew what to say. Kakashi managed to keep a foreboding glower on his face through sheer effort of will - and for the enjoyment of making his genin squirm. “A traumatic incident, I’m sure,” he said, relaxing suddenly. “Now, for your test.”
He held up two bells, watching with interest as Sakura’s smile became a little smug, and Sasuke folded his arms confidently. Naruto, on the other hand, was starting to look a little wary. He waited for a few seconds, glorying in what he was about to do. “Congratulations on your information gathering,” he said pleasantly. “Unfortunately, that meant I did have to make it a little harder for you all.”
Sakura’s smile slid right off her face.
“I have attached a bell that looks extremely similar to these to three different jounin,” Kakashi said cheerfully. “You must gather all three bells by midday today, or you will all fail.” He watched with some interest as Naruto’s hands flickered into a set of hand seals he hadn’t seen before - some kind of specialised jutsu? He’d have to pull out his sharingan on it at a later date.
“I haven’t said start, Naruto,” he said, and Naruto raised one hand to the back of his head awkwardly.
“Sorry sensei,” he said sheepishly. “Got ahead of myself.” He met Kakashi’s eye without hesitation however, and didn’t look that slightest bit guilty. “So, uh, you going to tell us who the jounin are?”
Kakashi bit back a smirk. “Nice try,” he said. “Since you’re so keen on information gathering, however, I’d hate to ruin your fun.”
Chances were, he’d pass them anyway. He’d never met a team that had clued onto the thought of teamwork so fast. If they could actually get the bells off the jounin he’d chosen though… well, when he had a team with that kind of potential, it wasn’t worth goofing about with them. Gai had been all too keen to help out with the test, shouting eagerly about the flames of youth. Anko had thought the whole thing was hilarious, and as for the last bell - well, it would be fun to see whether they could measure up to him in anyway, after all.
Naruto’s face had stretched into a cocky smile while he waited and Kakashi eyed him curiously. There was something odd about that kid, and it wasn’t just how much he looked like Yondaime when he was supposedly Yamanaka spawn. He shook the thought off for later investigation, and instead made a show of checking his watch.
“It’s currently twenty past six. You have five hours and forty minutes to prove you’re worthy of being my minions.” He clasped his hands together and beamed. “Begone!”
-----“Sasuke, anyone around?” Naruto asked, looking thoughtful. They’d scattered to the other end of the training field to think things through after Kakashi-sensei had supposedly ‘disappeared’. It was likely he was hiding somewhere though, watching them.
Sasuke closed his eyes and sent his chakra out in a weak pulse, ‘listening’ for other chakra presences. “No one nearby I can sense,” he said stiffly. “Now, the first thing we need to do is find out who these jounin are - they’ll likely be people Kakashi-sensei,” he couldn’t stop a little bit of disdain from leaking out on the last word, “trusts, so-”
“Woah, hold up,” Naruto said, grinning. “I can tell you who the jounin are.”
Two pairs of eyes fixed on him intently. “One is a jounin named Maito Gai,” he said. “The second is Mitarashi Anko - Sakura, why are you counting your money?”
“Just checking how much I had on me,” she said lightly. “We can probably bribe Mitarashi-san with a few boxes of dango.”
Sasuke stared at her. “Really?” he asked incredulously. “What kind of jounin-?” He paused and then shook his head. “I don’t think I want to know.”
Naruto snickered. “Anyway, the last one is Kakashi-sensei - and it’s probably worth dealing with him last.”
“Naruto,” Sakura said hesitantly. “How did you find this out?”
Naruto grinned cheerfully, bearing sharp canines. “I have my sources, Sakura!”
“Hn,” Sasuke said, trying to regain control of the group. “Well, we should-”
“Mitarashi-san first,” Sakura said firmly. “She’ll probably be the easiest, and she tends to spend Thursday mornings from seven thirty at the tea shop in Sector Two. Maito-san should be second - he’s Tenten’s jounin-sensei, isn’t he?”
“He is,” Naruto confirmed thoughtfully. “I think they had a D-class babysitting some kid’s birthday party today in Sector Two’s park. Neji was bitching about it last night. I think I should be able to deal with Gai, but I’ll need to pick up some supplies.”
“You can get what you need while Sasuke and I are dealing with Anko then,” Sakura said, biting her lip. “Kakashi-sensei-”
“He’ll be difficult,” Naruto acknowledged.
“We’ll deal with him last then,” Sasuke said authoritatively. “Let’s move out!”
Naruto eyed him for a second, then shook his head, grinning to himself. “Yeah, okay. I’ll meet you outside of the tea-shop when I’ve got everything I need.”
The three genin moved quickly, leaving Kakashi sitting in his tree, frowning thoughtfully. “How did you know who the jounin were, Naruto?” he muttered to himself. “Interesting.”
-----“So, you brats are here to steal Kakashi’s bell off me?” Anko said, sprawling back loosely in her seat, and not missing how Sasuke pointedly averted his gaze from her chest. Her grin was almost feral, but it didn’t seem to put Sakura off much.
“Actually, Mitarashi-san,” she said carefully, “I was hoping we could come to a more… equitable arrangement.”
Anko’s grin widened. “Were you now,” she purred. “How… interesting.”
----Naruto shifted from foot to foot impatiently as he waited outside for his team-mates to emerge, carefully balancing the paint cans he’d bought.
Sasuke was the first out of the door, his face carefully drawn into a mixture of disapproval and pride at the retrieval of the first bell. Sakura bounced out next, shouting a cheerful farewell to “Mitarashi-san”.
“Oi!” Naruto shouted, directing them his way.
Sasuke was none-too-impressed with how this test was going so far. Being able to bribe a Konoha jounin was a disgrace, and he suspected he wasn’t going to like Naruto’s plan for this Maito Gai any more - it all seemed to reflect how inefficient Konoha was. If there were an Uchiha Hokage, none of this would be permitted.
“…Paint,” he said, as he approached Naruto.
“I can see you passed Observation 101,” Naruto said cheerfully. “Now the question is, are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?”
Sakura’s forehead furrowed as she went over what she knew of the next bell. Her eyes widened in comprehension. “Birthday party,” she said with a widening smile, looking over to Sasuke excitedly, and Naruto confirmed it with a wicked grin.
“Hostages.”
Sasuke closed his eyes in horror.
“I have balloons as well, so they’re really easy to use,” Naruto explained, looking like he would be windmilling his arms if he wasn’t burdened by six cans of paint. “Believe me, there’s no way Gai’ll let his team have a failed D-rank on their record.”
Sasuke sighed. “Just give me a can of paint,” he said, in a resigned voice, and Sakura giggled.
------“This is a raid!” Naruto shouted, as they burst into the middle of the birthday party, holding balloons filled with paint. Sasuke looked utterly humiliated, whereas Sakura just looked determined.
“…Naruto?” Neji said, his voice implying ‘what-the-hell’ with perfect adequacy.
“Hey Neji!” Naruto said cheerfully, waving with a balloon, before resuming a serious pose. “Maito Gai, you are to surrender the bell immediately or we will be using our weapons!”
“This is Most Unyouthful!” Gai said, sounding horrified. Sasuke looked just as horrified at the sight of what the jounin was wearing.
“Yeah, you know what else would be unyouthful?” Naruto said, with a wide, wicked grin. “Havin’ a failed D-Class on your record because you let the birthday brats get pelted by paint.”
“Naruto,” Tenten growled, reaching for her senbon.
“Ah-ah-ah, Tenten,” Naruto said, still with his grin pasted on. “You don’t want to be throwin’ those things around civilians, do you? And if you do, our hands might just… slip.”
“You are dead, Hideyoshi,” Tenten snarled.
“You would not Permanently Blemish the records of your Youthful Friends with such Low Tactics!” Gai cried, and Naruto barely hesitated.
“Sure I would. One blemish versus us never getting’ to be ninja? I think I can live with the guilt.”
Gai sighed in defeat, looking at the ground - and then moved.
Sakura and Naruto just hit the ground in time, cushioning their paint balloons with difficulty - one burst over Naruto’s jacket, spraying lime green paint across the orange. Gai swivelled, kicking out, and Sakura’s paint balloons flew from her arms to land harmlessly on some trees. Naruto raised his one balloon left, ready to throw, but a flick from Gai’s fist sent it into a bush.
“That’s enough,” Sasuke said from behind them. He had a squirming child held in front of him with one hand, and a balloon in the other, determination written all over his face. “Pass the bell to Naruto now, or the birthday boy gets it.”
Gai gasped, falling to his knees. “I have Failed!” he wailed to the skies. “You would not do such a Heinous thing to such an Innocent Child, would you?”
Sasuke shrugged, unmoved. “They might not. I would. Bell. Naruto. Now.”
Gai reached slowly towards the bell, as if it were paining him to even contemplate the action. He shuddered as he tossed it to the ground in front of Naruto, who scrambled to pick it up quickly.
“Naruto, Sakura - go!” Sasuke snapped, and Naruto threw a mocking salute in his direction as they retreated with the bells. When Sasuke judged they had gone far enough he released the child and offered a nod to Gai, his face solemn.
“You are Perfectly Suited to my Rival,” Gai spat, his face dark with bitter emotion. “We will meet again.”
Neji rolled his eyes.
-----“Okay,” Sakura said when they regrouped on the roof of a nearby grocery shop. “We’ve got two bells - we just need Kakashi-sensei’s and we’re home free.” She looked at her two team-mates, her face serious. “Naruto?”
“I have no idea where he is,” he admitted without shame. “I think he’s been followin’ us around, but that’s just common sense.”
Sasuke looked around, his face drawn into one of concentration. “I can’t sense him,” he said after a moment, and Naruto snorted.
“He’s a jounin, genius.”
“Naruto,” Sakura warned, and he sighed.
“Whatever. Maybe if we go back to Training Ground Three we’ll get lucky,” Naruto suggested, and Sasuke frowned.
“How will we retrieve the bell if we find him though?” he said, and there was a long pause.
“I have some explosive tags,” Naruto said, turning out his pockets. “Couple of kunai, ninja wire and… is that Kakashi-sensei over there?”
They turned to look at where a silver-haired figure was waving cheerfully at them, and then looked at each other. “It’s-” Naruto began, trailing off as Sasuke leapt off the roof in chase.
“-A trap?” Sakura finished. They shrugged at each other, and followed the Uchiha, bounding from roof to roof at high speeds. Sasuke seemed to be gaining on Kakashi, putting on a burst of speed that was truly impressive - Sakura and Naruto, on the other hand, were lagging behind slightly, unable to keep up.
“He’s leadin’ us into sector nineteen,” Naruto huffed in between jumps. “Just goin’ the long way.”
Sakura glanced over at him, and immediately diverted herself off the roof into a nearby alley. “Come on then!” she shouted breathlessly. “We might still beat him there!” Her face was red with exertion, but she still set off at a rapid pace, darting past civilians with no problem.
Naruto glanced back to where he imagined Sasuke was still chasing Kakashi, and followed her quickly. “We’re goin’ to need to co-ordinate,” he called to Sakura, and she nodded without pausing.
“I know, I know, I’m thinking,” she said, powering chakra into her legs and jumping over a wall at the end of the alleyway. “Sasuke can handle close up, just about, so we need to try and keep our sensei off-guard. Last week, your dad-”
“Oh, duh,” Naruto said, resisting the temptation to slap himself as he took to the roofs again. “Yeah, the trap should still be active if we can get Kakashi-sensei into it.”
“Good,” Sakura said fiercely. “Sector nineteen is ours.”
They cut across one of the more broken-looking apartment towers that took them straight into sector nineteen, landing carefully on the blue spots which Kenshin had set up before as a training exercise, and came out just to the side of where Kakashi was leading Sasuke on a merry chase, all but skipping. Sakura drew a set of shuriken out of her pocket determinedly, and Naruto reached for an explosive tag.
What the- Kakashi thought, as he caught sight of the other two genin. There is no way that they were faster than us. They must have worked out where we were going and taken a shortcut - but how?
He was forced to abandon his thoughts as a barrage of shuriken came at him - weak throws, he analysed briefly. On target, which is impressive for an academy student, but no real power behind them. Probably not a weapon-user. He flipped into the air to land on the next building as he spotted the explosive tag attached to a kunai, and winced as Sasuke barely avoided the explosion. Nearly took out their own team-mate. Bad form.
Sasuke closed the distance between them, a kunai held in one hand and a look of determination on his face. Fast for a genin, Kakashi thought, catching Sasuke’s arm in one hand and twisting him round. Sasuke swung his leg, snarling as that, too, was caught and rolled as Kakashi threw him away.
“Nearly there,” Sakura hissed, throwing another barrage of shuriken at their sensei. Naruto made a face, aiming another explosive tag at the building in front of Kakashi. Kakashi swerved, jumping down into the rubble strewn street. Sasuke jumped after him.
“No-“ Naruto half-called, and then slumped. He attached a third explosive note to his kunai, and looked mournfully down at where Kakashi was fighting Sasuke. He looked up at Sakura. “I can’t trigger the override trap while Sasuke’s down there,” he said, annoyed. “He’ll get slaughtered.”
Sakura joined him in looking down. “Follow the leader, I guess,” she said ruefully, and leapt down to join Sasuke.
Sasuke was moving as fast as he could, but the damn jounin was always faster. He skipped a step back, hands flickering into seals to blow a fireball, but his hand were batted aside and a palm-thrust took away his breath. Naruto was in front of him before Kakashi could follow it up, slashing down with a kunai- he was thrown aside into a wall, barely managing to twist his legs up to hit first-
Sasuke was up on his feet, closer - he brought his leg around in a swing but Sakura was there, scrabbling for the bell attached to Kakashi’s waist - Sasuke snarled, why was she in his way-
He flicked a kunai out, aiming for his sensei’s throat - Kakashi had twisted out of his way, anticipating one of Naruto’s blows- Naruto went flying again, slamming straight into the wall and not moving-
Sakura’s hands were moving in a jutsu, but Sasuke knocked into her as he lunged again- he was knocked aside, Sakura went down in a - genjutsu? - then Kakashi was moving again and Sasuke went down, a foot on his throat.
“Well,” Kakashi said mildly, removing his foot. “That was disappointing.”
“Ow,” Naruto moaned.
“Theoretically, three genin should be able to defeat a jounin,” Kakashi said, watching his genin begin to struggle up impassively.
“Fuck theoretically,” Naruto groaned, flopping back down on the ground after an ineffective attempt at pushing himself up. “Ow, my spleen.”
“Your willingness to resort to alternate tactics is good,” Kakashi said. “Your information gathering is close to brilliant - I would like to know how you found out so much of what I was doing, Naruto, but that can wait. Your team-work was also acceptable on the whole.” He paused and looked at them all. “However, you were unable to mesh your attacks appropriately, you leapt into combat far too speedily, not knowing if it was a trap or not and-” he paused again, significantly. “I took the battle into an area you were familiar with, where you should have had a ridiculous home-advantage - and you were still unable to touch me. Your combat is appalling; you spent the majority of time getting in each other’s way.”
Kakashi twisted his head to look at Naruto. “I presume you were trying to back me into the seal array?” he asked Naruto, who nodded grumpily.
“We did back you into the seal array,” he said. “We just couldn’t set it off.”
Kakashi turned back to Sasuke. “Co-ordinate.” He said, emphasising the word clearly. “I am going to run you into the ground until you learn to fight together.”
“Does that mean we pass?” Sakura piped up from where she was propped up against a wall, still looking disorientated from the genjutsu she’d been hit by.
Kakashi let his eye smile at them all. “Just,” he said pleasantly. “And believe me, you’re going to regret it soon.”
“Oh,” Sakura said, weakly. “Good.”
Two Steps Back
Part 2
Chapter 1
“Naruto!” Chouji called cheerfully. “You passed!”
Naruto blinked and then looked up with a fanged grin. His hair was kept out of his eyes with his forehead protector, and the whisker-marks that had been so pronounced as a child had faded to the point where they weren’t even visible. He was wearing long black shorts and an orange jacket, and his hands were shoved in his pockets as he moved at an easy pace. “I’m wearin’ the forehead protector, aren’t I?” he shouted back, making his way into the classroom, and Chouji laughed.
“We weren’t sure, because you missed the exam,” he explained. “Sakura was frantic.”
“I was not!” Sakura protested loudly, brushing short pink hair away from her eyes and making a note to herself to cut it again. “I just didn’t think it would look good for Hideyoshi-sensei if his own son failed the genin exam.” She turned huffily to Ino. “You! Why didn’t you tell me that he’d still be able to pass?”
Ino held up her hands in mock surrender. “I didn’t know for certain,” she said. “I just knew there was something about a make-up exam because it wasn’t Naruto’s fault he missed it. And by the way-” she swivelled and held out a hand to Naruto, wiggling her fingers. “High-five bitch! You must have scored ridiculously highly to make up for all your absences.”
“I’m just that good,” Naruto said smugly, slapping Ino’s hand and bumping her shoulder playfully as he slid into the seat next to her. “’Sides, they wouldn’t have let me fail. They love me too much.”
Shikamaru shook his head from behind them. “I can’t believe you get away with so much,” he said, but he sounded more entertained than anything - it was hard to tell under the apathy.
Sasuke huffed, his face drawn up into careful superiority. “There shouldn’t be allowances made for anyone,” he said, with careful weight. “To do so brings down the academy standards significantly.” Ino rolled her eyes at Naruto, and he bared his teeth in a mocking grin.
“And this comes from the guy who wouldn’t stop bitching for a month about not being able to take the genin exams early,” Daisuke interjected, leaning back on one elbow. He ran a hand through his dark hair affectedly, spiking it up slightly as he pitched his voice into a high whine. “But sensei, it’s not fair, I’m an Uchiha.”
Sasuke’s hair seemed to bristle in offence, his composure failing as his eyebrows drew down into a forbidding glower. “I could beat you in a fight any day,” he hissed. “At least I didn’t fail down a year.”
“Alas,” Daisuke sighed. “Probably true. Your words wound me, deep inside.” Sakura rolled her eyes and elbowed him sharply in the stomach and Daisuke yelped, pouting at her. “Seriously Sakura,” he muttered and then leant in closer so no one else could hear his words. “Him? Why?” Sakura flushed pink and refused to answer.
“Anyway,” Ino said, raising an eyebrow at Naruto. “Team Yamanaka for the win?”
“Hell yes,” Naruto whooped, and they high-fived again. Ayame groaned from where she was sat, in front of the two of them and sandwiched by two girls who were refusing to pay attention to the noise behind them.
“You guys are-”
“Awesome?” Naruto offered.
“Fantastic?” Ino said, leaning her head on her hand as she peered down at Ayame.
“Hilarious?”
“Devilishly attractive?”
“Retarded,” Ayame said, shaking her head. They shrugged in unison and looked like they were about to respond when Iruka came through the door.
“Alright, settle down,” he shouted, waiting for the grumbling to subside as students twisted around to face the front mutinously. “First of all, congratulations to you all on making genin,” he said, his eyes passing across them indiscriminately. “I expect you to do Konoha proud.” Naruto looked like he was about to say something to Ino, and Iruka narrowed his eyes. As if sensing his sensei’s thoughts, Naruto leaned back without saying anything, and blinked his eyes angelically up at Iruka.
Iruka frowned, about to say something disapproving, and then changed his mind. “As a start to your career, you will be divided into three-man cells. These cells have been carefully formulated to bring out the best in every student, so there are to be no complaints.”
“Come on Team Yamanaka,” Ino muttered, her fingers crossed, and Naruto bit back a laugh.
“Team One,” Iruka said loudly, “Morioka Mai, Watanabe Kichirou, and Ito Takeshi. Your sensei will be Gekkou Hayate.”
There was a variety of low-level grumbling as Iruka sorted the teams out - with the notable exception of the Kurama twins, who cheered loudly when they were put on Team Four together. None of Kenshin’s students paid too much attention, however, until their names were read out.
“Team Six, Morino Daisuke, Namiashi Ayame and Sakamoto Yuu. Your sensei is Shiranui Genma.”
Daisuke sighed and looked over to where Ayame sat, offering a two-fingered salute. She nodded back regally, both of them all but ignoring Yuu who was looking distinctly sulky. Sakura pulled a face and bumped shoulders with her best friend. “We’ll still meet up, team or not,” she muttered determinedly, and Daisuke nodded sharply. Iruka wasn’t paying too much attention to the undercurrents, reading out the next team without glancing up from his scroll.
“Team Seven - Haruno Sakura, Hideyoshi Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke.”
“…What?” Naruto said after a pause. “That makes absolutely no sense.”
“I said there were to be no complaints, Naruto,” Iruka snapped, and Naruto flailed.
“I wasn’t complaining! Well, I was, but not in the way you meant!”
“He means that it seems a bit pointless to put us together when both Naruto and myself are support ninja. We’ll have no one capable of fighting close up,” Sakura interjected quickly, before things could devolve further.
“And our long-range is a massive dick who’ll probably fireball me in the back,” Naruto said helpfully, and Ino snickered.
“We could switch,” Ayame said helpfully. “Daisuke for Naruto. I’m happy with that.”
“Hey!” Daisuke objected, and Ayame eyed him.
“What?” she said. “You’re best friends with Sakura and you’re decent with close-range techniques. I thought you’d be jumping at the chance.”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t have to make it sound like you were getting the better deal with Naruto,” Daisuke said, crossing his arms huffily.
“Enough!” Iruka snapped. “If you have any real problems, you may take submit them using the appropriate forms but as you are only genin, you will not have any problems. Is that clear?”
“Crystal,” Naruto said, a grin playing around his lips as he exchanged a look with Sakura. What’s got his panties in a twist? they both thought, with varying degrees of disdain.
“Your sensei will be Hatake Kakashi-”
“No way!” Sasuke shouted in protest. “That man’s a disgrace-”
“Be QUIET!” Iruka bellowed, the veins standing out in his necks. “Hatake Kakashi is a jounin of Konoha and you will show him the appropriate respect, genin!”
Sasuke subsided, barely keeping from mumbling to himself. His father was not going to be happy about this - and the elders would spend their time complaining about how the Uchiha were being disregarded in Konoha. No doubt that make him train even harder tonight, but it would be worth it. He had to redeem the honour of the Uchiha, even if Konoha was determined not to allow him to do so.
“Team Eight is Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji. Your sensei is Sarutobi Asuma.”
Ino sighed through her nose, looking at Naruto with miserable reluctance. “We’re still being called Team Yamanaka,” she informed her team-mates. Shikamaru grunted his acquiescence, and Chouji just smiled, relaxed.
Team Nine and Ten were finished without any further complaints, and Iruka snapped his scroll shut abruptly. He looked as though he was torn between saying something encouraging, and shouting at them all for their attitudes, but instead he just shook his head. “Your sensei will be meeting you in the classroom after lunch. Until then, you’re all dismissed to get to know your team-mates.”
The classroom erupted into a babble of noise as Iruka left, and Naruto slouched back in his seat. “Well, that sucks.”
“Tell me about it,” Ino said with a grimace. “I mean, Shikamaru and Chouji are good guys but- damn, we would have been awesome together.”
“Eh,” Naruto said with a shrug. “Sooner or later we’ll get assigned together. I mean, Sasuke doesn’t exactly scream ‘subtle’, does he?”
They both turned to see where Sasuke was glowering a stuttering Sakura down, who was looking more distressed by the second at her team-mate’s dismissal.
“Twenty seconds ‘till she punches him?” Naruto suggested idly, and Ino rolled her eyes.
“Go and back your team-mate up, dummy,” she said, shoving him out of his seat. “’Sides, Daisuke will break your head in if he thinks you’re letting Sakura get bullied.” Naruto huffed a laugh, getting to his feet.
“Twenty seconds ‘till Daisuke punches him?” he offered hopefully, and Ino snickered. He shook himself, and bounced cheerfully over to where Sakura was standing awkwardly in front of Sasuke. “So, team-mates!” he greeted with a beaming grin, sticking two thumbs up. “We’re goin’ to be the number one team of pure awesomeness, right? Believe it!”
Sasuke looked at him, his normally carefully put together mask of superiority morphing into one of incredulity. Naruto managed to keep his fixed grin in place, although his shoulders were starting to shake with the attempt not to laugh. Sakura’s helpless giggles broke Sasuke out of his shock, and he blinked twice, rapidly.
“Hideyoshi,” he said, nodding curtly. There was a pause, and Sasuke seemed to be forcing himself into saying further words. “Haruno. I… look forward to working with both of you in a successful cell. My apologies, but I must leave you for a while.” He nodded again to the both of them, and left swiftly.
Naruto watched him go with a look of fascination on his face - and he wasn’t the only one. “My god,” Daisuke said, in a tone of wonder. “Was the Uchiha Sasuke almost civil there?”
“Daisuke!” Sakura protested, slapping at his arm, and Daisuke laughed.
“C’mon, Sakura, the guy’s made an art-form out of being unpleasant. We mere mortals are far below the notice of the almighty Uchiha clan.”
“Ah,” Naruto said, an odd smile on his face. “But he is a genin now, making him an adult - and he does have to uphold the honour of the Uchiha.”
“You think-” Ino said, from the side, eyes flicking to Naruto’s as she tapped her knee twice. Naruto shook his head suddenly, losing the strange expression.
“Just an idea,” he said, rubbing his thumb across his index finger, and Ino nodded in understanding. Shikamaru watched the two of them with sharp eyes but said nothing - just offered a quirked eyebrow when Naruto met his eyes in recognition.
“Anyway,” Naruto said, looking around at everyone, as the other teams began filing out. Sakamoto Yuu took a long look at his team-mates, and left, in a bit of a huff. The rest of them - Kenshin’s students - had gravitated to a clump at the back of the room, pulling out their lunches. “Dad burnt the rice again and I overslept, so I have no lunch. Would anyone like to donate to a good cause?”
Chouji laughed, pulling out what seemed to be the contents of an entire fridge with great cheer. “My mum was up last night cooking,” he explained proudly. “She wanted to make sure we could celebrate, and she thinks some of us,” and he glanced significantly at Ino and Naruto, “Are too skinny.”
“Give,” Ino said immediately, stashing her own lunch back in her bag. “Your mother is a goddess, Chouji.”
“Seconded,” Naruto agreed. “Did she do any of those things, with the pork and-”
Chouji pointed to one of the boxes, and Naruto moaned happily. “Remind me to take your mother flowers, Chouji,” he said. “She is a beautiful, beautiful woman.” Chouji was clearly fighting back a blush of pride, but he also seemed to be expecting the praise as he handed out various boxes to Kenshin’s students, who had all clumped around him expectantly.
“Ooh,” Ino said, raising a finger. “We have these new lilies in we could give her, from Wind country - they’re gorgeous.”
“The purple-pink ones, right?” Naruto said, clearly interested, and Shikamaru groaned.
“Guys. Can we talk about something interesting to the rest of us?” he interrupted, and Ino hmphed sulkily.
“Yeah - how about what you and Sakura are going to do with Ice Queen Uchiha,” Daisuke said, after swallowing a mouthful of whatever-it-was he filched from a box.
“He’s not that bad,” Sakura protested. “I think he’s just… shy or something.”
The rummaging for food stopped as everyone stared at Sakura incredulously. “Well,” she said nervously. “Yuu’s not any better!”
Ayame cracked her knuckles cheerfully, a pleasant smile on her face. “We’ll break him of it.”
“Rapidly,” Daisuke agreed, matching her smile.
“…I’m a little disturbed,” Ino said, eyeing the two of them, and Daisuke flushed slightly.
“Before we talk about breaking in team-mates,” Shikamaru said impatiently, “There’s another exam.”
Everyone looked at him expectantly, and he shrugged under their combined gazes. “Tch, troublesome,” he grumbled, but continued. “There’s a difference between team genin and the reserve corps - if we fail a test our jounin-sensei gives us, we put into the reserve corps, which pretty much fucks up our chances for promotion, according to Tenten.”
Naruto and Ino wolf-whistled obligingly, just to see Shikamaru turn crimson. He tugged on his earring to distract himself. “Yes, thank you,” he said curtly. “Anyway - it’s always teams of three, you never get switched around after academy assignment until your first chuunin exam, and the test varies from jounin to jounin. Apparently most of them are about teamwork though, because squad genin are being trained up as leaders.”
Naruto nodded. “I’ve heard most of this before,” he confirmed. “I also recognise a couple of the jounin names, but the information I have,” he waved his hand from side to side. “Not really the most reliable.”
“Anything is better than nothing though, right?” Sakura said, using her chopsticks to separate out a ball of rice. There were a variety of nods around the group, and Naruto shrugged.
“Right, well. Hatake Kakashi is the most basic - he’s known as the copy-ninja, has a sharingan eye, reads an obscene amount of porn and is late to pretty much everything. He’s very, very good though - pretty much legendary level, which might explain why he was given the perfect prodigy Uchiha.”
Daisuke snickered, and then subsided at the glare Sakura shot him.
“Uh, Sarutobi Asuma is, as you might have guessed, the Hokage’s son. Spent some time as one of the Daimyo’s guards I think, and is pretty good with wind jutsus. He also once ended up naked and upside down in the ANBU locker rooms. I think there are still photos around the village if you need blackmail.”
“Oh great,” Ino said. “Our sensei’s a massive embarrassment.”
Naruto shot her a grin, and then carefully tilted his head to the left. “He’s a good guy,” he said. “Surprisin’ amount going on behind the eyes.”
Ino nodded slowly, and Naruto twisted to face Ayame, who was looking very intense.
“Shiranui Genma,” Naruto drawled out teasingly. “Best known for his ambition to sleep with someone from every clan in Konoha. He’s ‘parently about seventy five per cent of his way through.”
Ayame buried her head in her hands and groaned. “Great.”
“Specialises in poisons and assassinations, tends to work fairly closely with Intel. He also thinks he’s really funny.” Naruto shrugged. “Also a fairly nice guy from what I’ve seen, but hung-over, like, all of the time.”
Daisuke nodded thoughtfully. “I think I get my hands on some flash-bang tags,” he said. “Shizuka still sells them, right?”
“Still at a discount for Kenshin’s kids,” Ino said with a grin. “Otherwise I’d be broke.”
“Which reminds me,” Naruto said clicking his fingers, “You think Neji-”
“With the-“
“And we could-”
“Oh yes,” Ino said gleefully. “I’m sure we can corner him sometime soon.”
“And for those of us that need to speak in whole sentence…?” Shikamaru asked, and Ino smiled sweetly.
“Nothing you need to concern yourself with, oh team-mate of mine. We just haven’t talked to him in ages.”
“He might get grumpy without us,” Naruto said, nodding seriously, and Sakura raised a hand to muffle her laugh.
Shikamaru sighed in despair, and returned to eating.
------“You know, when you said our sensei was normally late, I didn’t think you meant three hours late,” Sakura said, pacing across the room. Naruto was lying on the desks, staring at the ceiling in mind-numbing boredom.
“You probably didn’t think I meant he read porn in public, either, but he does,” Naruto said and Sakura turned to stare at him.
“Seriously?” she yelped, and Naruto nodded.
“S’one of the reasons Dad doesn’t like him too much.”
Sasuke finally interjected from where he’d been intently regarding his fingertips. “Your father is Hideyoshi Kenshin, correct?”
“Yep,” Naruto said, his fingers twitching slightly with a desire to move.
“I… heard a rumour,” Sasuke began awkwardly, “That he’s an Uchiha, if born… slightly unorthodoxly.”
“Y’mean, you want to know if he’s a bastard Uchiha?” Naruto asked to clarify, and Sasuke looked a little indignant, even as he nodded.
Naruto shrugged. “Don’t know. Never spoken about it. ‘Sides, it’s none of your business one way or another.”
“If he’s an Uchiha, the clan-” Sasuke began, and Naruto snorted.
“He doesn’t like your clan,” he said flatly. “I don’t much like your clan, ‘cept for Shisui.” His hands were clenched into tight fists, before he forcibly relaxed them, trying hard not to remember.
“Naruto, it’s not fair to judge an entire clan,” Sakura inserted worriedly. “I’m sure Kenshin-sensei doesn’t really dislike them.”
Sasuke turned towards her, his eyes narrowed in confusion. “Kenshin-sensei?”
“Ah, yes,” Sakura said, tugging on a pink lock of hair nervously. “Kenshin-sensei took on a group of younger students when he had just arrived officially in Konoha. I was - am still - one of them.”
Sasuke blinked, and looked at Sakura more carefully. “I… see,” he said, clearly very curious, but not sure that manners would allow him to enquire too closely, and very determined to stick to them now that he was an adult. He turned back to Naruto after a moment’s pause. “He’s the one who wrote a book on chakra sensitivity?”
“He’s written several books,” Naruto yawned, managing to appear mostly unaffected.
“Something he said in one of them - I didn’t quite understand it. Would it be possible-?” Sasuke said. If he talked to this Hideyoshi Kenshin, then surely he’d know whether he was clan or not. He was sure no one could really dislike the Uchiha, not if they were related - not if they could have the chance for family.
Naruto sat up to meet Sasuke’s eyes, looking slightly bewildered that an Uchiha would actually ask for assistance. “This weekend,” he said decisively, after a moment of inspecting him, and understanding creeping into his eyes. He sounded a bit amused, and Sasuke hunched his shoulders defensively, not liking the tone of voice. It was almost like Naruto knew what he was thinking, and found it funny.
Sasuke blinked, and Naruto clarified. “Come over this weekend, ‘bout ten, and you can ask him your questions. I’ll give you my address later.”
Their conversation was interrupted by the door sliding in, and a mass of grey hair sticking in to the room. “Team Seven?” he asked cheerfully, and Sakura looked like she was about to throw a kunai at him.
“Yes,” Sasuke said curtly, his voice displaying the faint contempt of one regarding a lower life-form. Naruto managed - barely - not to snicker as Hatake Kakashi blinked his one visible eye slowly.
“Well, that’s a cheerful greeting,” he said, sounding entertained.
“You are three hours, forty three minutes late, sensei,” Sakura said, almost apologetically.
“Am I really?” Kakashi said, sounding shocked. “Well, you see, there was this black cat and I couldn’t walk past that, so I had to take a detour past an old woman’s house, where I was intercepted by a green beast who challenged me to a most fearsome task, and that must have made me late. It’s appalling of me, I know.”
Sakura’s hands clenched, preventing her from reaching for a weapon. Just one stab, right in the middle of his smug face…
“Right,” Kakashi said, clapping his hands together. “Up to the roof, children, chop chop.” He moved his hands into a fast set of seals, and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
“Really?” Sakura asked in despair, looking at her two team-mates, and Naruto shrugged.
------“So, kiddies, let’s all introduce ourselves,” Kakashi said, clapping his hands together and squinting his eyes into a broad smile. Sakura inched away from him, looking slightly disturbed.
“Let’s see,” Kakashi said, speaking slowly as if musing aloud. “Names, little description of yourselves and maybe your family, your likes, your hobbies, your dreams, that kind of thing.” He waved a hand nonchalantly. “How about you go first, blondie?”
Naruto twitched slightly, but managed to keep himself acting almost professional. “Hideyoshi Naruto, I’m the adopted son of Hideyoshi Kenshin, who’s a retired shinobi. I like ramen, gardening running. I also like hangin’ out with my cousin, Yamanaka Ino, and prankin’ people. My dream is to win a lifetime supply of ramen, which I will use to fill a swimming pool and have a massive ramen party with lots of attractive women.”
Sakura promptly thumped him.
“Ow! Sakura-” Naruto protested, and she raised her fist threateningly.
“Do you have to make a mockery of everything, Naruto?” she demanded, furiously, and Naruto widened his eyes, his lower lip quivering.
“I don’t criticise your dream, Sakura,” he said. “You’re just some- some hope-destroyer! I bet you don’t even like ramen!”
“Naruto!” Sakura shouted, and Kakashi cleared his throat.
“Moving on,” he said mildly. “Uchiha.”
Sasuke, who had been looking faintly taken-aback by the open display of immaturity by his team-mates, straightened perceptibly. “Uchiha Sasuke,” he said crisply. “Clan heir of the Uchiha clan, son of Uchiha Fugaku and Uchiha Mikoto. I like training and reading up on recent developments in chakra usage. I will see my clan’s honour restored, in any way necessary.”
Sakura looked deeply approving of Sasuke’s brief speech, elbowing Naruto as if to tell him to pay attention. Naruto slouched further, making a face.
“I see,” Kakashi said. “And finally…?”
“Haruno Sakura,” Sakura said, smiling prettily at her jounin-sensei, seemingly having forgotten the urge to stab him in the face that had struck her earlier. “I’m civilian-born, my father is a silk trader and my mother is a house-wife. I like reading, training with my friends and playing Shougi with Shikamaru. My dream is to develop medical seals, as well as being a capable combat shinobi.”
“Good, good,” Kakashi said. “Now, I have some-”
“Wait a second, sensei,” Naruto interrupted, and Kakashi cocked his head to one side in enquiry. “Aren’t you going to introduce yourself?”
“My,” Kakashi said dryly. “How rude of me. I must have forgotten. Hatake Kakashi, Konoha jounin, I like many things, but none for little ears, and my dream… well…” he giggled.
They all stared at him, but Kakashi didn’t seem to notice, still giggling slightly. Suddenly he cut himself off, serious again. “As I was saying, I have some unfortunate news for you - you aren’t genin yet.”
None of his genin blinked, surprising Kakashi somewhat. He’d been expecting the civilian kiddie to be taken aback at the very least, but he ploughed on, dismissing it for later thought. “Before you get to be genin, you have to pass my test,” he said ominously. “No one has ever managed it - believe me, at the very least, two-thirds of you will not be keeping your forehead-protector.”
Sakura shivered slightly, raising her hand to where her protector was tied tightly around her head. Sasuke narrowed his eyes in a glare at Kakashi, and Naruto’s left hand was twitching spasmodically.
Kakashi resisted the temptation to beam in satisfaction. That was far more appropriate. “Tomorrow.” He said sharply. “Six am. Training ground three.”
“Soo…” Naruto said slowly, resisting the temptation to grin. “That means about ten, right?”
Kakashi glowered at him, but continued as if there had been no interruption. “I’d advise you don’t eat if you don’t want to throw up. Dismissed!”
Naruto turned to look at Sakura, flicking three fingers up and Sakura nodded, latching on to Sasuke’s arm. “We’ll meet you there!” she said cheerfully, pulling Sasuke along with her to Naruto’s laughter.
------‘There’ turned out to be an abandoned playground off Sector 19 - one of the sectors that had been destroyed in the Kyuubi attack and was even now a mostly ruined mess. The years had turned it into a massive warren of collapsed apartments and walls, and rendered it one of the most popular spots for shinobi games, even if Sasuke had never been there before.
Sakura had promptly taken over one of the swings, and cheerfully explained that ‘they’ - meaning Kenshin’s students - often met in various spots about Sector 19. Her chatter had eventually run down however, and Sasuke was on the edge of excusing himself, regardless of rudeness, when Naruto finally showed up, dragging a reluctant-looking older genin behind him. Sakura looked confused as Sasuke felt, which he was fairly thankful for.
Naruto slanted his eyes towards the emotions that were flickering quickly over Sasuke’s face, and managed not to grin. To someone who’d grown up with Kenshin, reading other people’s emotions wasn’t a massive challenge - and that was even without the advantages he had.
“Kinjo Shirou, Uchiha Sasuke,” he introduced briefly. “I think you’ve already met Sakura.”
Shirou nodded briefly, sharp brown eyes darting across the three children and drawing his own conclusions. “You’re the unlucky bastards who pulled Hatake-san, then?” he said, and Sakura’s eyes widened in comprehension.
“You were assigned to his team before?” she asked, and Shirou nodded with a rueful smile.
“We failed so badly it was humiliating,” he said, in a nostalgic voice. “Believe me, that guy’s a dick.”
Sasuke looked towards Naruto, who shrugged. “My da always says it’s important to get as much intel as possible, and I remembered Shirou-sempai.”
“Just remember, you owe me dinner,” Shirou said in mock-warning. “And if it’s home-cooked, Hideyoshi-san isn’t allowed near it.”
“Da blew up the kitchen a few times,” Naruto explained, and Sakura winced in remembrance.
“He tried to make a cake for us once,” she revealed. “At least, I think it was meant to be a cake.”
“Even the Inuzuka dogs won’t touch his cooking,” Naruto said. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”
“…I see,” Sasuke said, not revealing his impatience. “What information did you have, Kinjo-san?”
“Hatake Kakashi,” Shirou drawled out, placing extra emphasis on each word. “Legendary jounin. Ex-ANBU. Massive, massive dick.” He paused. “And I meant that in a way that he is a dick, not that he has one.”
Sasuke blinked, and Naruto snickered.
“I’m fairly sure he reuses the same test every year,” Shirou said. “He’s seriously lazy that way. He calls it the Bell Test.”
-----“You,” Kakashi said, his one visible eye narrowed in displeasure, “Are late.”
Naruto blinked in some bewilderment, slanting a look in Sakura’s direction. “Two minutes,” she mouthed, holding her watch up.
“Uh, sorry sensei,” he offered insincerely. “I totally would have been on time, but I was ambushed by a crazed panda.”
There was a pause, where no one quite knew what to say. Kakashi managed to keep a foreboding glower on his face through sheer effort of will - and for the enjoyment of making his genin squirm. “A traumatic incident, I’m sure,” he said, relaxing suddenly. “Now, for your test.”
He held up two bells, watching with interest as Sakura’s smile became a little smug, and Sasuke folded his arms confidently. Naruto, on the other hand, was starting to look a little wary. He waited for a few seconds, glorying in what he was about to do. “Congratulations on your information gathering,” he said pleasantly. “Unfortunately, that meant I did have to make it a little harder for you all.”
Sakura’s smile slid right off her face.
“I have attached a bell that looks extremely similar to these to three different jounin,” Kakashi said cheerfully. “You must gather all three bells by midday today, or you will all fail.” He watched with some interest as Naruto’s hands flickered into a set of hand seals he hadn’t seen before - some kind of specialised jutsu? He’d have to pull out his sharingan on it at a later date.
“I haven’t said start, Naruto,” he said, and Naruto raised one hand to the back of his head awkwardly.
“Sorry sensei,” he said sheepishly. “Got ahead of myself.” He met Kakashi’s eye without hesitation however, and didn’t look that slightest bit guilty. “So, uh, you going to tell us who the jounin are?”
Kakashi bit back a smirk. “Nice try,” he said. “Since you’re so keen on information gathering, however, I’d hate to ruin your fun.”
Chances were, he’d pass them anyway. He’d never met a team that had clued onto the thought of teamwork so fast. If they could actually get the bells off the jounin he’d chosen though… well, when he had a team with that kind of potential, it wasn’t worth goofing about with them. Gai had been all too keen to help out with the test, shouting eagerly about the flames of youth. Anko had thought the whole thing was hilarious, and as for the last bell - well, it would be fun to see whether they could measure up to him in anyway, after all.
Naruto’s face had stretched into a cocky smile while he waited and Kakashi eyed him curiously. There was something odd about that kid, and it wasn’t just how much he looked like Yondaime when he was supposedly Yamanaka spawn. He shook the thought off for later investigation, and instead made a show of checking his watch.
“It’s currently twenty past six. You have five hours and forty minutes to prove you’re worthy of being my minions.” He clasped his hands together and beamed. “Begone!”
-----“Sasuke, anyone around?” Naruto asked, looking thoughtful. They’d scattered to the other end of the training field to think things through after Kakashi-sensei had supposedly ‘disappeared’. It was likely he was hiding somewhere though, watching them.
Sasuke closed his eyes and sent his chakra out in a weak pulse, ‘listening’ for other chakra presences. “No one nearby I can sense,” he said stiffly. “Now, the first thing we need to do is find out who these jounin are - they’ll likely be people Kakashi-sensei,” he couldn’t stop a little bit of disdain from leaking out on the last word, “trusts, so-”
“Woah, hold up,” Naruto said, grinning. “I can tell you who the jounin are.”
Two pairs of eyes fixed on him intently. “One is a jounin named Maito Gai,” he said. “The second is Mitarashi Anko - Sakura, why are you counting your money?”
“Just checking how much I had on me,” she said lightly. “We can probably bribe Mitarashi-san with a few boxes of dango.”
Sasuke stared at her. “Really?” he asked incredulously. “What kind of jounin-?” He paused and then shook his head. “I don’t think I want to know.”
Naruto snickered. “Anyway, the last one is Kakashi-sensei - and it’s probably worth dealing with him last.”
“Naruto,” Sakura said hesitantly. “How did you find this out?”
Naruto grinned cheerfully, bearing sharp canines. “I have my sources, Sakura!”
“Hn,” Sasuke said, trying to regain control of the group. “Well, we should-”
“Mitarashi-san first,” Sakura said firmly. “She’ll probably be the easiest, and she tends to spend Thursday mornings from seven thirty at the tea shop in Sector Two. Maito-san should be second - he’s Tenten’s jounin-sensei, isn’t he?”
“He is,” Naruto confirmed thoughtfully. “I think they had a D-class babysitting some kid’s birthday party today in Sector Two’s park. Neji was bitching about it last night. I think I should be able to deal with Gai, but I’ll need to pick up some supplies.”
“You can get what you need while Sasuke and I are dealing with Anko then,” Sakura said, biting her lip. “Kakashi-sensei-”
“He’ll be difficult,” Naruto acknowledged.
“We’ll deal with him last then,” Sasuke said authoritatively. “Let’s move out!”
Naruto eyed him for a second, then shook his head, grinning to himself. “Yeah, okay. I’ll meet you outside of the tea-shop when I’ve got everything I need.”
The three genin moved quickly, leaving Kakashi sitting in his tree, frowning thoughtfully. “How did you know who the jounin were, Naruto?” he muttered to himself. “Interesting.”
-----“So, you brats are here to steal Kakashi’s bell off me?” Anko said, sprawling back loosely in her seat, and not missing how Sasuke pointedly averted his gaze from her chest. Her grin was almost feral, but it didn’t seem to put Sakura off much.
“Actually, Mitarashi-san,” she said carefully, “I was hoping we could come to a more… equitable arrangement.”
Anko’s grin widened. “Were you now,” she purred. “How… interesting.”
----Naruto shifted from foot to foot impatiently as he waited outside for his team-mates to emerge, carefully balancing the paint cans he’d bought.
Sasuke was the first out of the door, his face carefully drawn into a mixture of disapproval and pride at the retrieval of the first bell. Sakura bounced out next, shouting a cheerful farewell to “Mitarashi-san”.
“Oi!” Naruto shouted, directing them his way.
Sasuke was none-too-impressed with how this test was going so far. Being able to bribe a Konoha jounin was a disgrace, and he suspected he wasn’t going to like Naruto’s plan for this Maito Gai any more - it all seemed to reflect how inefficient Konoha was. If there were an Uchiha Hokage, none of this would be permitted.
“…Paint,” he said, as he approached Naruto.
“I can see you passed Observation 101,” Naruto said cheerfully. “Now the question is, are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?”
Sakura’s forehead furrowed as she went over what she knew of the next bell. Her eyes widened in comprehension. “Birthday party,” she said with a widening smile, looking over to Sasuke excitedly, and Naruto confirmed it with a wicked grin.
“Hostages.”
Sasuke closed his eyes in horror.
“I have balloons as well, so they’re really easy to use,” Naruto explained, looking like he would be windmilling his arms if he wasn’t burdened by six cans of paint. “Believe me, there’s no way Gai’ll let his team have a failed D-rank on their record.”
Sasuke sighed. “Just give me a can of paint,” he said, in a resigned voice, and Sakura giggled.
------“This is a raid!” Naruto shouted, as they burst into the middle of the birthday party, holding balloons filled with paint. Sasuke looked utterly humiliated, whereas Sakura just looked determined.
“…Naruto?” Neji said, his voice implying ‘what-the-hell’ with perfect adequacy.
“Hey Neji!” Naruto said cheerfully, waving with a balloon, before resuming a serious pose. “Maito Gai, you are to surrender the bell immediately or we will be using our weapons!”
“This is Most Unyouthful!” Gai said, sounding horrified. Sasuke looked just as horrified at the sight of what the jounin was wearing.
“Yeah, you know what else would be unyouthful?” Naruto said, with a wide, wicked grin. “Havin’ a failed D-Class on your record because you let the birthday brats get pelted by paint.”
“Naruto,” Tenten growled, reaching for her senbon.
“Ah-ah-ah, Tenten,” Naruto said, still with his grin pasted on. “You don’t want to be throwin’ those things around civilians, do you? And if you do, our hands might just… slip.”
“You are dead, Hideyoshi,” Tenten snarled.
“You would not Permanently Blemish the records of your Youthful Friends with such Low Tactics!” Gai cried, and Naruto barely hesitated.
“Sure I would. One blemish versus us never getting’ to be ninja? I think I can live with the guilt.”
Gai sighed in defeat, looking at the ground - and then moved.
Sakura and Naruto just hit the ground in time, cushioning their paint balloons with difficulty - one burst over Naruto’s jacket, spraying lime green paint across the orange. Gai swivelled, kicking out, and Sakura’s paint balloons flew from her arms to land harmlessly on some trees. Naruto raised his one balloon left, ready to throw, but a flick from Gai’s fist sent it into a bush.
“That’s enough,” Sasuke said from behind them. He had a squirming child held in front of him with one hand, and a balloon in the other, determination written all over his face. “Pass the bell to Naruto now, or the birthday boy gets it.”
Gai gasped, falling to his knees. “I have Failed!” he wailed to the skies. “You would not do such a Heinous thing to such an Innocent Child, would you?”
Sasuke shrugged, unmoved. “They might not. I would. Bell. Naruto. Now.”
Gai reached slowly towards the bell, as if it were paining him to even contemplate the action. He shuddered as he tossed it to the ground in front of Naruto, who scrambled to pick it up quickly.
“Naruto, Sakura - go!” Sasuke snapped, and Naruto threw a mocking salute in his direction as they retreated with the bells. When Sasuke judged they had gone far enough he released the child and offered a nod to Gai, his face solemn.
“You are Perfectly Suited to my Rival,” Gai spat, his face dark with bitter emotion. “We will meet again.”
Neji rolled his eyes.
-----“Okay,” Sakura said when they regrouped on the roof of a nearby grocery shop. “We’ve got two bells - we just need Kakashi-sensei’s and we’re home free.” She looked at her two team-mates, her face serious. “Naruto?”
“I have no idea where he is,” he admitted without shame. “I think he’s been followin’ us around, but that’s just common sense.”
Sasuke looked around, his face drawn into one of concentration. “I can’t sense him,” he said after a moment, and Naruto snorted.
“He’s a jounin, genius.”
“Naruto,” Sakura warned, and he sighed.
“Whatever. Maybe if we go back to Training Ground Three we’ll get lucky,” Naruto suggested, and Sasuke frowned.
“How will we retrieve the bell if we find him though?” he said, and there was a long pause.
“I have some explosive tags,” Naruto said, turning out his pockets. “Couple of kunai, ninja wire and… is that Kakashi-sensei over there?”
They turned to look at where a silver-haired figure was waving cheerfully at them, and then looked at each other. “It’s-” Naruto began, trailing off as Sasuke leapt off the roof in chase.
“-A trap?” Sakura finished. They shrugged at each other, and followed the Uchiha, bounding from roof to roof at high speeds. Sasuke seemed to be gaining on Kakashi, putting on a burst of speed that was truly impressive - Sakura and Naruto, on the other hand, were lagging behind slightly, unable to keep up.
“He’s leadin’ us into sector nineteen,” Naruto huffed in between jumps. “Just goin’ the long way.”
Sakura glanced over at him, and immediately diverted herself off the roof into a nearby alley. “Come on then!” she shouted breathlessly. “We might still beat him there!” Her face was red with exertion, but she still set off at a rapid pace, darting past civilians with no problem.
Naruto glanced back to where he imagined Sasuke was still chasing Kakashi, and followed her quickly. “We’re goin’ to need to co-ordinate,” he called to Sakura, and she nodded without pausing.
“I know, I know, I’m thinking,” she said, powering chakra into her legs and jumping over a wall at the end of the alleyway. “Sasuke can handle close up, just about, so we need to try and keep our sensei off-guard. Last week, your dad-”
“Oh, duh,” Naruto said, resisting the temptation to slap himself as he took to the roofs again. “Yeah, the trap should still be active if we can get Kakashi-sensei into it.”
“Good,” Sakura said fiercely. “Sector nineteen is ours.”
They cut across one of the more broken-looking apartment towers that took them straight into sector nineteen, landing carefully on the blue spots which Kenshin had set up before as a training exercise, and came out just to the side of where Kakashi was leading Sasuke on a merry chase, all but skipping. Sakura drew a set of shuriken out of her pocket determinedly, and Naruto reached for an explosive tag.
What the- Kakashi thought, as he caught sight of the other two genin. There is no way that they were faster than us. They must have worked out where we were going and taken a shortcut - but how?
He was forced to abandon his thoughts as a barrage of shuriken came at him - weak throws, he analysed briefly. On target, which is impressive for an academy student, but no real power behind them. Probably not a weapon-user. He flipped into the air to land on the next building as he spotted the explosive tag attached to a kunai, and winced as Sasuke barely avoided the explosion. Nearly took out their own team-mate. Bad form.
Sasuke closed the distance between them, a kunai held in one hand and a look of determination on his face. Fast for a genin, Kakashi thought, catching Sasuke’s arm in one hand and twisting him round. Sasuke swung his leg, snarling as that, too, was caught and rolled as Kakashi threw him away.
“Nearly there,” Sakura hissed, throwing another barrage of shuriken at their sensei. Naruto made a face, aiming another explosive tag at the building in front of Kakashi. Kakashi swerved, jumping down into the rubble strewn street. Sasuke jumped after him.
“No-“ Naruto half-called, and then slumped. He attached a third explosive note to his kunai, and looked mournfully down at where Kakashi was fighting Sasuke. He looked up at Sakura. “I can’t trigger the override trap while Sasuke’s down there,” he said, annoyed. “He’ll get slaughtered.”
Sakura joined him in looking down. “Follow the leader, I guess,” she said ruefully, and leapt down to join Sasuke.
Sasuke was moving as fast as he could, but the damn jounin was always faster. He skipped a step back, hands flickering into seals to blow a fireball, but his hand were batted aside and a palm-thrust took away his breath. Naruto was in front of him before Kakashi could follow it up, slashing down with a kunai- he was thrown aside into a wall, barely managing to twist his legs up to hit first-
Sasuke was up on his feet, closer - he brought his leg around in a swing but Sakura was there, scrabbling for the bell attached to Kakashi’s waist - Sasuke snarled, why was she in his way-
He flicked a kunai out, aiming for his sensei’s throat - Kakashi had twisted out of his way, anticipating one of Naruto’s blows- Naruto went flying again, slamming straight into the wall and not moving-
Sakura’s hands were moving in a jutsu, but Sasuke knocked into her as he lunged again- he was knocked aside, Sakura went down in a - genjutsu? - then Kakashi was moving again and Sasuke went down, a foot on his throat.
“Well,” Kakashi said mildly, removing his foot. “That was disappointing.”
“Ow,” Naruto moaned.
“Theoretically, three genin should be able to defeat a jounin,” Kakashi said, watching his genin begin to struggle up impassively.
“Fuck theoretically,” Naruto groaned, flopping back down on the ground after an ineffective attempt at pushing himself up. “Ow, my spleen.”
“Your willingness to resort to alternate tactics is good,” Kakashi said. “Your information gathering is close to brilliant - I would like to know how you found out so much of what I was doing, Naruto, but that can wait. Your team-work was also acceptable on the whole.” He paused and looked at them all. “However, you were unable to mesh your attacks appropriately, you leapt into combat far too speedily, not knowing if it was a trap or not and-” he paused again, significantly. “I took the battle into an area you were familiar with, where you should have had a ridiculous home-advantage - and you were still unable to touch me. Your combat is appalling; you spent the majority of time getting in each other’s way.”
Kakashi twisted his head to look at Naruto. “I presume you were trying to back me into the seal array?” he asked Naruto, who nodded grumpily.
“We did back you into the seal array,” he said. “We just couldn’t set it off.”
Kakashi turned back to Sasuke. “Co-ordinate.” He said, emphasising the word clearly. “I am going to run you into the ground until you learn to fight together.”
“Does that mean we pass?” Sakura piped up from where she was propped up against a wall, still looking disorientated from the genjutsu she’d been hit by.
Kakashi let his eye smile at them all. “Just,” he said pleasantly. “And believe me, you’re going to regret it soon.”
“Oh,” Sakura said, weakly. “Good.”