Dr. Terrible
Author:imeldabrandt
Title: Dr. Terrible
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Dave Karofsky, Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, One-Sided Kurtofsky, Klaine
Warnings: Nothing really. Maybe some language...
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. If I did, Kurt and Karofsky would be together and have lots of threesomes with Puck. Rachel would have been killed in a drive by and Finn would have committed suicide because of Rachel's death... Is it obvious that I don't own Glee?
Summary: Dave is a super villain. Kurt is an upstanding citizen. Can they form a healthy relationship or will Captain Triangle ruin everything?
A/N: Just a short little oneshot. I asked if anyone could turn Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog into a Kurtofsky story. I believe that I might just have done it. (:
Dave stood facing his mirror. His eyebrows were drawn together and his mouth was set in a straight line. He smirked slightly at his reflection before belting out in a deep laughter. "Ahahahahahahahahahaha!" He frowned and tried again. "Bwahahahahahahahahaha!" Frowning once more, he gave up on his reflection and collapsed on his bed behind him.
He just couldn't get it down. The laugh was the key part of being a super villain. Every time he opened his mouth though, it was just a normal laugh that an everyday person would use. Sighing, he stood and stretched trying to put the laugh far from his mind. He'd work on it later, but right now he should be scheming... Well, after he read his mail.
He picked up yesterday pile of mail that Azimio (oh, I mean Damp. He prefers his henchman name.) had dropped off. At least now he could he read it and now worry about the papers being wet. He loved Az, but that boy needed to get his sweat glands checked.
The first letter was from his frenemy, Noah Puckerman (Fox was his evil name). He tore open that fox emblem and began to read through the snarky letter:
Hey Genius!
So you were supposed to steal those gold bars from the bank for me so I could get my latest evil scheme going. I have yet to even hear about any gold being taken so I'm going to assume that you failed at getting them out for me. Way to go.
FOX
Dave looked over at his work table to a Zip-Lock bag that held a disgusting looking liquid. He had stolen the gold bars, but something had gone wrong with his Trans-Matter Ray. He figured that it just heated up to much and that the liquid gold was the result, but he never actually looked into it. Grabbing pen and paper he started his response:
Fox,
I forgot to tell you. I do have the gold. It's just not in bar form anymore. And of course they aren't going to let the public know that gold has gone missing! What do you think they want? A full on panic? The gold is here (it's liquid-y now though) if you want to come and get it. Just have your henchman, Frankenteen, come get it. I'll have Damp waiting with it if you choose to come get it.
Dr. Terrible
Dave folded the letter into thirds and slipped it into a pre-addressed envelope. He licked the nasty sticky part sealing the letter in before grabbing his own emblem and smacking the sticker down. He moved on to the next letter. Upon seeing the name of the writer of the next letter, he groaned. Jacob Israel (or Jewfro to the villain world) had written him again! He hesitantly opened the letter and began reading.
Terrible,
I see you are once again not terrible enough to face me, your nemesis. I waited at Lima Park for an hour and you never showed. I'll wait for you outside of Lima Park tomorrow. Better come this time.
Jewfro
Grabbing a clean sheet of paper, Dave began to furiously write.
Fro,
You are NOT my nemesis! My nemesis is Captain Triangle, geometric eyebrows! Get over yourself. I don't have time to fight you because I'm busy on the lookout for him. Good-bye. Don't ever write me again.
Dr.Terrible
Shoving the letter into the envelope, Dave sealed it and grabbed the last piece of mail. He smiled lightly as he saw the name Tina (Corpse in the villain circle) scrawled across the top. She was the sweetest in world of super villains. Her letters all ways asked how he was ding and things to that nature.
Dear David (Oops! I mean Dr. Terrible),
In your last letter you mentioned a guy. You said that you'd show him the way. Show him that you are a true villain. Is it to much to ask that I at least know this mystery citizen's name so I can make sure not to hurt him in any attacks I might be planning? I'm a villain, but I'm a hopeless romantic too.
Love, Tina (Oops... Corpse)
Dave smiled. Of course she wouldn't want to hurt him. She was just so thoughtful sometimes. Dave sighed happily and began writing her back.
Dear Tina,
His name is Kurt. Kurt Hummel. He's so stunning and fashion forward. You can't miss him. I met him at the laundromat about six months ago. He's in there every weekend. He's all ways cheerful and he wears the strangest things, but it's enduring. I've never actually talked to him since I'm not all that good with my words, but I'm going to. I'm working on a new invention called the Ice-Ray so that I can make time stand still. I just need to be able to look at him and think of what to say and not be thought of as a creep. My Ice-Ray will stop-
"Yo, Dave! I got today's mail. It's a little wet again. Sorry, bro." Azimio barreled through the door, setting the mail down on the counter like he did everyday before collapsing on the couch in the living room.
Dave smiled at his best friend in the whole world. Az was the only one that understood the pressure Dave was under from his parents to give up his life of crime and become an upstanding citizen. "It's cool. Oh! Quinn- er... Prom Queen told me you went on a date last night with Santana. I mean Bait."
Azimio sighed deeply. "Yeah. It didn't exactly go as I thought it would..."
"Did you end up with Brittany? That happens, man. I mean their villain name is Bait N' Switch."
"I know. I know... So did you see Kurt today?"
"Yeah. I was so close to talking to him. I'm about a month away from a real... audible connection." Dave picked up the that day's mail and began shuffling through it as he continued. "I'm gonna ask if he'd be willing to- Dear Jesus!" He dropped the mail all over his floor except for the single piece that was grasped tightly in his left hand.
"Yo. Is that from... The League?"
"That's her seal isn't it? A gold megaphone with a skull on it? Oh God... I got a letter from Coach Vile!"
"Well read it! I want to hear what is says!"
Dr. Terrible,
I, Coach Vile, have just received your application for the Evil League of Evil. It looks extremely promising. I do like the letter of condemnation from Mayor Shuester. God knows I hate that man. Anyway, I'm still evaluating your entire application along with my Council of Villains. To show us that you truly are committed to this League, we wish to see an act of loyalty. We will be monitoring you and taking notes, so take that into consideration as you plan out your next scheme. Make me happy, or we will erase you from the League's database for good.
Coach Vile
Silence hung in the air of the apartment for a few seconds before Azimio broke it. "Well at least it's not a flat out no like they gave Figgins. Poor, Heinous Hindu. I really thought he looked promising too..."
"Az... This is great! Oh, God! This is perfect! You know the Fantastonium I need for my Ice-Ray? It's being moved from the high security storage unit to a normal storage unit! This is perfect!"
"Want some help, buddy? I can... Do something."
Dave looked over at Azimio. He really wanted his best friend there while he pulled off the biggest heist of his career, but he knew that Azimio couldn't come with him. "Sorry, but Coach Vile is watching. I need to do this alone."
-
Title: Dr. Terrible
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Dave Karofsky, Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, One-Sided Kurtofsky, Klaine
Warnings: Nothing really. Maybe some language...
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. If I did, Kurt and Karofsky would be together and have lots of threesomes with Puck. Rachel would have been killed in a drive by and Finn would have committed suicide because of Rachel's death... Is it obvious that I don't own Glee?
Summary: Dave is a super villain. Kurt is an upstanding citizen. Can they form a healthy relationship or will Captain Triangle ruin everything?
A/N: Just a short little oneshot. I asked if anyone could turn Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog into a Kurtofsky story. I believe that I might just have done it. (:
Dave stood facing his mirror. His eyebrows were drawn together and his mouth was set in a straight line. He smirked slightly at his reflection before belting out in a deep laughter. "Ahahahahahahahahahaha!" He frowned and tried again. "Bwahahahahahahahahaha!" Frowning once more, he gave up on his reflection and collapsed on his bed behind him.
He just couldn't get it down. The laugh was the key part of being a super villain. Every time he opened his mouth though, it was just a normal laugh that an everyday person would use. Sighing, he stood and stretched trying to put the laugh far from his mind. He'd work on it later, but right now he should be scheming... Well, after he read his mail.
He picked up yesterday pile of mail that Azimio (oh, I mean Damp. He prefers his henchman name.) had dropped off. At least now he could he read it and now worry about the papers being wet. He loved Az, but that boy needed to get his sweat glands checked.
The first letter was from his frenemy, Noah Puckerman (Fox was his evil name). He tore open that fox emblem and began to read through the snarky letter:
Hey Genius!
So you were supposed to steal those gold bars from the bank for me so I could get my latest evil scheme going. I have yet to even hear about any gold being taken so I'm going to assume that you failed at getting them out for me. Way to go.
FOX
Dave looked over at his work table to a Zip-Lock bag that held a disgusting looking liquid. He had stolen the gold bars, but something had gone wrong with his Trans-Matter Ray. He figured that it just heated up to much and that the liquid gold was the result, but he never actually looked into it. Grabbing pen and paper he started his response:
Fox,
I forgot to tell you. I do have the gold. It's just not in bar form anymore. And of course they aren't going to let the public know that gold has gone missing! What do you think they want? A full on panic? The gold is here (it's liquid-y now though) if you want to come and get it. Just have your henchman, Frankenteen, come get it. I'll have Damp waiting with it if you choose to come get it.
Dr. Terrible
Dave folded the letter into thirds and slipped it into a pre-addressed envelope. He licked the nasty sticky part sealing the letter in before grabbing his own emblem and smacking the sticker down. He moved on to the next letter. Upon seeing the name of the writer of the next letter, he groaned. Jacob Israel (or Jewfro to the villain world) had written him again! He hesitantly opened the letter and began reading.
Terrible,
I see you are once again not terrible enough to face me, your nemesis. I waited at Lima Park for an hour and you never showed. I'll wait for you outside of Lima Park tomorrow. Better come this time.
Jewfro
Grabbing a clean sheet of paper, Dave began to furiously write.
Fro,
You are NOT my nemesis! My nemesis is Captain Triangle, geometric eyebrows! Get over yourself. I don't have time to fight you because I'm busy on the lookout for him. Good-bye. Don't ever write me again.
Dr.Terrible
Shoving the letter into the envelope, Dave sealed it and grabbed the last piece of mail. He smiled lightly as he saw the name Tina (Corpse in the villain circle) scrawled across the top. She was the sweetest in world of super villains. Her letters all ways asked how he was ding and things to that nature.
Dear David (Oops! I mean Dr. Terrible),
In your last letter you mentioned a guy. You said that you'd show him the way. Show him that you are a true villain. Is it to much to ask that I at least know this mystery citizen's name so I can make sure not to hurt him in any attacks I might be planning? I'm a villain, but I'm a hopeless romantic too.
Love, Tina (Oops... Corpse)
Dave smiled. Of course she wouldn't want to hurt him. She was just so thoughtful sometimes. Dave sighed happily and began writing her back.
Dear Tina,
His name is Kurt. Kurt Hummel. He's so stunning and fashion forward. You can't miss him. I met him at the laundromat about six months ago. He's in there every weekend. He's all ways cheerful and he wears the strangest things, but it's enduring. I've never actually talked to him since I'm not all that good with my words, but I'm going to. I'm working on a new invention called the Ice-Ray so that I can make time stand still. I just need to be able to look at him and think of what to say and not be thought of as a creep. My Ice-Ray will stop-
"Yo, Dave! I got today's mail. It's a little wet again. Sorry, bro." Azimio barreled through the door, setting the mail down on the counter like he did everyday before collapsing on the couch in the living room.
Dave smiled at his best friend in the whole world. Az was the only one that understood the pressure Dave was under from his parents to give up his life of crime and become an upstanding citizen. "It's cool. Oh! Quinn- er... Prom Queen told me you went on a date last night with Santana. I mean Bait."
Azimio sighed deeply. "Yeah. It didn't exactly go as I thought it would..."
"Did you end up with Brittany? That happens, man. I mean their villain name is Bait N' Switch."
"I know. I know... So did you see Kurt today?"
"Yeah. I was so close to talking to him. I'm about a month away from a real... audible connection." Dave picked up the that day's mail and began shuffling through it as he continued. "I'm gonna ask if he'd be willing to- Dear Jesus!" He dropped the mail all over his floor except for the single piece that was grasped tightly in his left hand.
"Yo. Is that from... The League?"
"That's her seal isn't it? A gold megaphone with a skull on it? Oh God... I got a letter from Coach Vile!"
"Well read it! I want to hear what is says!"
Dr. Terrible,
I, Coach Vile, have just received your application for the Evil League of Evil. It looks extremely promising. I do like the letter of condemnation from Mayor Shuester. God knows I hate that man. Anyway, I'm still evaluating your entire application along with my Council of Villains. To show us that you truly are committed to this League, we wish to see an act of loyalty. We will be monitoring you and taking notes, so take that into consideration as you plan out your next scheme. Make me happy, or we will erase you from the League's database for good.
Coach Vile
Silence hung in the air of the apartment for a few seconds before Azimio broke it. "Well at least it's not a flat out no like they gave Figgins. Poor, Heinous Hindu. I really thought he looked promising too..."
"Az... This is great! Oh, God! This is perfect! You know the Fantastonium I need for my Ice-Ray? It's being moved from the high security storage unit to a normal storage unit! This is perfect!"
"Want some help, buddy? I can... Do something."
Dave looked over at Azimio. He really wanted his best friend there while he pulled off the biggest heist of his career, but he knew that Azimio couldn't come with him. "Sorry, but Coach Vile is watching. I need to do this alone."
-