Into Temptation (10/?)
Author's Note: Another short one. I’m still pretty sick so this was all I could manage. Thank you for all the well wishes though. Hope you all enjoy.
I’m happy. Unequivocally, ecstatically, bounce in my step happy. When I woke up this morning everything seemed so bright, so blindingly perfect. For the first time in months I feel like I’m walking the halls of Seattle Grace like I used to, strong, tall, powerful.
I have back to back surgeries today, which in itself is reason enough to be happy, but even more than that, the real reason everything seems so beautiful and bright is because tonight I am taking Arizona on our first official date. In my mind I have everything planned, I have made reservations at Canto, one of the nicest restaurants in Seattle, I have the perfect outfit planned out and I have even managed to pick out the perfect bouquet of flowers for her from the florist downstairs. I mean admittedly flowers aren’t really my thing but tonight has to be perfect. It has to prove to her everything that I feel in my heart. It has to prove to her that I can hold true to everything I have promised her.
There is a small amount of nerves fluttering through me today though too. I’m worried about screwing it up, saying the wrong thing. It feels almost like I’m a teenager again. Like everything is shiny and new again. It’s most definitely an odd feeling for a woman of my age.
“Dr. Torres?” I hear the Chief call out breaking me from my contemplation and planning.
“Chief?” I reply as I turn around and see him approaching me.
“Three days ago there was a code in room 2037 and no resident to cover it, the schedule is a mess, your mess, clean it up” He speaks to me angrily, I try to stutter a reply but am brushed off when he walks away.
“Chief had on his stern face” Bailey says with a grin as she approaches me.
“Yeah you know, I was happy this morning, you know why? Cause I have back to back surgeries today” I reply with a bright grin.
“You have on your I want something face” Bailey replies looking a little confused.
“Will you cover for me. Just do the chief resident thing so I can stay happy. Just today, please, please, please” I beg her.
“You want me to….” She replies still looking a little confused.
“Be me, but you know better, be you” I reply quickly before leaving not giving her a chance to say no.
I feel the beat of the music that I have playing echo throughout my body as I drill into the leg of the patient in front of me in OR2.
“Dr. Torres can I talk to you for a minute?” I hear Baileys voice call out to me, snapping me out of the world I’m in briefly.
“I’m in the middle of a shattered femur, thank god for men that ride motorcycles” I reply excitedly.
“There’s some scheduling issues you have to deal with.” She shouts out over the music.
“Yeah can you handle that again, thanks” I reply. I know in some part of my brain I’m using her but right now all I want to do is focus on the happiness I’m feeling and dealing with scheduling will not lead to happiness.
As I exit the OR after an incredibly successful surgery a grin still resides on my face.
“Dr. Torres, got a moment” I hear the Chief call to me.
“I don’t actually cause I have two more surgeries today but I know the schedules been a little crazy. I’ll get on it tonight” I reply as I continue to head towards my next surgery.
“No your not actually” He replies quite sternly forcing me to stop and look at him
“Ok, your right it may not happen till tomorrow” I reply honestly.
“Your not going to get on it at all” the Chief replies causing my heart to feel like it is sinking into my stomach.
Today was supposed to be perfect. It was supposed to be happy. It was supposed to be everything that had been lacking in my life for so long. Now though, sitting in the locker room it feels anything but. I got fired. I got fired from something that I thought I was finally getting a handle on. Admittedly a great deal of that had to do with Bailey but still I felt like I was making progress. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes, the exhaustion filling my body. I should be at home now, I should be getting ready for the perfect date that I had planned, instead I can barely find the strength to move.
“I thought you would be home getting ready by now?” the bright cheerful voice asks me. When I look up at the breathtaking image in front of me I cant help but briefly forget my worries. She looks amazing, she obviously decided to get ready for our date at the hospital. The blue in her dress makes her eyes look even bluer, if that’s even possible. I can’t help but smile briefly before sudden realisation that tonight is going to be anything but perfect. My head falls, I can barely stand to look at her. I’m a disappointment, I’m a failure.
Suddenly I feel her in front of me, on her knees staring up at me through the hair that has fallen in front of my face covering it. She reaches up and brushes it away gently, forcing me to make eye contact with her.
“Calliope, what’s wrong?” the concern on her face is evident in every facet of her.
“I got fired from being Chief Resident” I tell her honestly, my voice breaking slightly. She doesn’t say anything, she just looks at me, her hands still at the side of my face, gently brushing my hair with the tips of her fingers. “Tonight was supposed to be perfect. It was supposed to….I was going to prove to you….Now I cant and….” My voice is breaking regularly. I’m trying desperately to hold back the tears that are very much prominent in my eyes. The last thing I want is for her to be watching me cry, yet again. I see a shy smile form on her face, as if she’s contemplating a concept.
“Come with me” she says taking my hand gently in hers and dragging me up from the bench where I am resided. I look at her confused but she just brushes it off. “Just come with me Calliope”
I knew where we were going as soon as she gave me the directions. We didn’t talk on the drive over, she just held my hand gently, comfortingly. Whilst the idea of cotton candy, hot dogs and screaming children didn’t exactly sound like the best place for me in my state I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. When we arrived at the amusement park at the base of the space needle rather than taking me inside she led me to a park bench just near the entrance. She motions for me to take a seat, I comply somewhat confused.
“What are we doi….” I start but am interrupted when she motions for me to be silent by placing a finger to my lip.
“This is my place Calliope. This is where I come sometimes.” She starts looking around softly “Sometimes as surgeons we forget why it is we do what we do. We lose a patient or a surgery doesn’t go as planned and we forget the lives we save, the lives we change.” I start to look around at the people she looking at. Families, happy, joyful families. Little girls being carried on their father’s shoulders, mothers being dragged along by their sons towards endless amount of rides and junk food. People out on their first date. “when we perform surgery on someone, when we save someone’s life. Its not just the life of the patient we save. We save someone’s father, mother, girlfriend, child from the pain of losing them. When you reattach a kneecap or repair a shattered femur, you allow fathers to play football with their children or to be able to attend their sons or daughters graduation. You change lives Calliope.” I can feel the smile forming on my face with her words. She moves her arm around my shoulder allowing my head to fall on to hers. “I have a confession to make, I spent a great deal of time today in the gallery watching you work today.” I move slightly, allowing myself to look up into her blue eyes.
“You were watching me” I ask softly. She nods slightly before motioning for me to move my head back to its place on her shoulder.
“You are breathtaking in the OR Calliope. You are free and talented and you love what you do.” I can feel her pull me into her tighter. “Its not just about the cutting for you.” She shifts slightly, moving her spare hand around to take my chin in hers, so that I am looking her straight in the eye. “The paperwork, the organising, all that boring stuff, its not you Calliope. You change lives” Her words suddenly feel like they settle within me. Like everything suddenly makes sense. She moves forward gently. Pressing her lips to mine, but only briefly. Only enough to allow what she just said to truly resonate throughout all of me.
When we part I feel her take my hand in hers as she drags me off the bench. Her perfect smile adorning her face. “Now, how about a hot dog?” she asks me before dragging me towards the entrance towards the amusement park.
I’m happy. Unequivocally, ecstatically, bounce in my step happy. When I woke up this morning everything seemed so bright, so blindingly perfect. For the first time in months I feel like I’m walking the halls of Seattle Grace like I used to, strong, tall, powerful.
I have back to back surgeries today, which in itself is reason enough to be happy, but even more than that, the real reason everything seems so beautiful and bright is because tonight I am taking Arizona on our first official date. In my mind I have everything planned, I have made reservations at Canto, one of the nicest restaurants in Seattle, I have the perfect outfit planned out and I have even managed to pick out the perfect bouquet of flowers for her from the florist downstairs. I mean admittedly flowers aren’t really my thing but tonight has to be perfect. It has to prove to her everything that I feel in my heart. It has to prove to her that I can hold true to everything I have promised her.
There is a small amount of nerves fluttering through me today though too. I’m worried about screwing it up, saying the wrong thing. It feels almost like I’m a teenager again. Like everything is shiny and new again. It’s most definitely an odd feeling for a woman of my age.
“Dr. Torres?” I hear the Chief call out breaking me from my contemplation and planning.
“Chief?” I reply as I turn around and see him approaching me.
“Three days ago there was a code in room 2037 and no resident to cover it, the schedule is a mess, your mess, clean it up” He speaks to me angrily, I try to stutter a reply but am brushed off when he walks away.
“Chief had on his stern face” Bailey says with a grin as she approaches me.
“Yeah you know, I was happy this morning, you know why? Cause I have back to back surgeries today” I reply with a bright grin.
“You have on your I want something face” Bailey replies looking a little confused.
“Will you cover for me. Just do the chief resident thing so I can stay happy. Just today, please, please, please” I beg her.
“You want me to….” She replies still looking a little confused.
“Be me, but you know better, be you” I reply quickly before leaving not giving her a chance to say no.
I feel the beat of the music that I have playing echo throughout my body as I drill into the leg of the patient in front of me in OR2.
“Dr. Torres can I talk to you for a minute?” I hear Baileys voice call out to me, snapping me out of the world I’m in briefly.
“I’m in the middle of a shattered femur, thank god for men that ride motorcycles” I reply excitedly.
“There’s some scheduling issues you have to deal with.” She shouts out over the music.
“Yeah can you handle that again, thanks” I reply. I know in some part of my brain I’m using her but right now all I want to do is focus on the happiness I’m feeling and dealing with scheduling will not lead to happiness.
As I exit the OR after an incredibly successful surgery a grin still resides on my face.
“Dr. Torres, got a moment” I hear the Chief call to me.
“I don’t actually cause I have two more surgeries today but I know the schedules been a little crazy. I’ll get on it tonight” I reply as I continue to head towards my next surgery.
“No your not actually” He replies quite sternly forcing me to stop and look at him
“Ok, your right it may not happen till tomorrow” I reply honestly.
“Your not going to get on it at all” the Chief replies causing my heart to feel like it is sinking into my stomach.
Today was supposed to be perfect. It was supposed to be happy. It was supposed to be everything that had been lacking in my life for so long. Now though, sitting in the locker room it feels anything but. I got fired. I got fired from something that I thought I was finally getting a handle on. Admittedly a great deal of that had to do with Bailey but still I felt like I was making progress. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes, the exhaustion filling my body. I should be at home now, I should be getting ready for the perfect date that I had planned, instead I can barely find the strength to move.
“I thought you would be home getting ready by now?” the bright cheerful voice asks me. When I look up at the breathtaking image in front of me I cant help but briefly forget my worries. She looks amazing, she obviously decided to get ready for our date at the hospital. The blue in her dress makes her eyes look even bluer, if that’s even possible. I can’t help but smile briefly before sudden realisation that tonight is going to be anything but perfect. My head falls, I can barely stand to look at her. I’m a disappointment, I’m a failure.
Suddenly I feel her in front of me, on her knees staring up at me through the hair that has fallen in front of my face covering it. She reaches up and brushes it away gently, forcing me to make eye contact with her.
“Calliope, what’s wrong?” the concern on her face is evident in every facet of her.
“I got fired from being Chief Resident” I tell her honestly, my voice breaking slightly. She doesn’t say anything, she just looks at me, her hands still at the side of my face, gently brushing my hair with the tips of her fingers. “Tonight was supposed to be perfect. It was supposed to….I was going to prove to you….Now I cant and….” My voice is breaking regularly. I’m trying desperately to hold back the tears that are very much prominent in my eyes. The last thing I want is for her to be watching me cry, yet again. I see a shy smile form on her face, as if she’s contemplating a concept.
“Come with me” she says taking my hand gently in hers and dragging me up from the bench where I am resided. I look at her confused but she just brushes it off. “Just come with me Calliope”
I knew where we were going as soon as she gave me the directions. We didn’t talk on the drive over, she just held my hand gently, comfortingly. Whilst the idea of cotton candy, hot dogs and screaming children didn’t exactly sound like the best place for me in my state I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. When we arrived at the amusement park at the base of the space needle rather than taking me inside she led me to a park bench just near the entrance. She motions for me to take a seat, I comply somewhat confused.
“What are we doi….” I start but am interrupted when she motions for me to be silent by placing a finger to my lip.
“This is my place Calliope. This is where I come sometimes.” She starts looking around softly “Sometimes as surgeons we forget why it is we do what we do. We lose a patient or a surgery doesn’t go as planned and we forget the lives we save, the lives we change.” I start to look around at the people she looking at. Families, happy, joyful families. Little girls being carried on their father’s shoulders, mothers being dragged along by their sons towards endless amount of rides and junk food. People out on their first date. “when we perform surgery on someone, when we save someone’s life. Its not just the life of the patient we save. We save someone’s father, mother, girlfriend, child from the pain of losing them. When you reattach a kneecap or repair a shattered femur, you allow fathers to play football with their children or to be able to attend their sons or daughters graduation. You change lives Calliope.” I can feel the smile forming on my face with her words. She moves her arm around my shoulder allowing my head to fall on to hers. “I have a confession to make, I spent a great deal of time today in the gallery watching you work today.” I move slightly, allowing myself to look up into her blue eyes.
“You were watching me” I ask softly. She nods slightly before motioning for me to move my head back to its place on her shoulder.
“You are breathtaking in the OR Calliope. You are free and talented and you love what you do.” I can feel her pull me into her tighter. “Its not just about the cutting for you.” She shifts slightly, moving her spare hand around to take my chin in hers, so that I am looking her straight in the eye. “The paperwork, the organising, all that boring stuff, its not you Calliope. You change lives” Her words suddenly feel like they settle within me. Like everything suddenly makes sense. She moves forward gently. Pressing her lips to mine, but only briefly. Only enough to allow what she just said to truly resonate throughout all of me.
When we part I feel her take my hand in hers as she drags me off the bench. Her perfect smile adorning her face. “Now, how about a hot dog?” she asks me before dragging me towards the entrance towards the amusement park.