(no subject)

[imcrying4you]

and the fear eats my heart out
it makes me a fool
for thinking I'm worthy
of being loved by you

it makes me so nervous
so fearful and scared
that I can't concentrate
and I'm lost and impaired*

I'm faint of heart
shaky and weak
gripping my heart
not letting it beat

not letting me breathe
no air in or out
am I just crazy
so filled with doubt

of you and of me
of my friends, family
of those all around
do they care

I can't even think straight
my mind is racing
losing control
I've started pacing

back and forth like a pendulum
ticking and tocking
collapse to the ground
and I've started rocking

and rolling away
from what's left of my brain
the sanity's gone
and anxiety reigns

it takes it's toll
it tells me I'm wrong
that I shouldn't say this
or say that, and I'm small

tiny and false
insignificant, fake
that I'm not worth the time
that you might just take

to tell me I'm special
to tell me I'm loved
but I get so afraid
need those kid gloves

to be handled and cared for
and I'm sorry I can't
open up better
or tell you my rants

I can't find focus
I can't get a grip
I stumble and dance
trip into flips

I want to break doors
and lose time and be bright
but the lock on the door
has been wound in too tight

The keys broken off
and it needs some repairs
no time to do them
completely unfair

(*edit -- disturbed)