(no subject)
Sometimes, when I'm all alone, I think about you...and I'm sad...I don't blame you. I would leave me alone too. If that's how I knew myself. I had a moment of forced self reflection a few days ago. I'm so different. It's scary. I'm not sure when or how it happened. I wish you knew me like this. But you always just ignore me. It's ok. I'm not mad...at the present moment. Sometimes I get mad at you. Sometimes, I wish I could make you pay attention to me. But that's incredibly selfish of me. You have your life and your friends (which you say I still am...but I doubt it more and more each time I think about it.) and your things going on. I have mine. I just wish...heh it's irrelevent. Life is funny...in a sad ironic sort of way. Sardonic I believe is the word. I just remember when I knew you read this. I knew you heard me. I thought maybe you cared. Sometimes, I wish I could call you a friend I could depend on. When I'm in a jam or something. Instead, you don't even respond to me when I say hi. I thought maybe after how our relationship had evolved, we'd still be in touch. I guess it doesn't matter. I guess I just miss my friend.