TGI Fuck You Friday
The following can go eat a bowl of hot steaming dicks:
1) My quota at work
2) My somewhat masochistic ideas about reaching quota
3) My inability to play nice with other kids
4) My desire for a puppy, or anything even mildly more affectionate than a cat and an overworked boyfriend who read too much Marcus Aurelius in his formative years
5) The clothes that need to be taken to the dry cleaners and shoes that need to be reheeled
6) Working with hipsters who have no shame (and I quote: "I'm so jealous that she has a cute hipster boyfriend")
7) The business/calling cards that probably won't arrive before my departure to DC
8) Buying bus tickets on the Greyhound website--the options make no fucking sense
9) The people who owe me money
10) My generosity and general goodwill towards my fellow men. Or women, because in this case 2 chicks owe me
11) The general scarcity of panty-line-free underwear in my dresser
12) The possibility of having gone up another cup size (thanks birth control!! NOT--big titted bras are expensive)
13) My inability to talk to people about things I legitimately enjoy
14) My inability to talk with anyone, period
15) Facebook's privacy settings changing to becoming yet more intrusive
16) My haircut, for which I paid far too much for far too little change
17) My need for insurance
18) The fact that the new person to be hired is being started at a pay range that is 5k more than the rest of ours. OH HELL NO. THAT IS NOT COOL.
19) Certain individuals' fixation with stoicism and not showing strong emotion, because maybe I want them to be mad at me. Maybe it would be comforting to know that they are capable of being pissed. I mean, sometimes it's necessary to fake feelings to make others feel better.
20) And this, more than anything: The fact that it is nearly the end of April and I am not getting ANYTHING DONE. The only real accomplishment of 2010 is getting a salaried full-time job with benefits, and even that isn't so amazing (see #18).
1) My quota at work
2) My somewhat masochistic ideas about reaching quota
3) My inability to play nice with other kids
4) My desire for a puppy, or anything even mildly more affectionate than a cat and an overworked boyfriend who read too much Marcus Aurelius in his formative years
5) The clothes that need to be taken to the dry cleaners and shoes that need to be reheeled
6) Working with hipsters who have no shame (and I quote: "I'm so jealous that she has a cute hipster boyfriend")
7) The business/calling cards that probably won't arrive before my departure to DC
8) Buying bus tickets on the Greyhound website--the options make no fucking sense
9) The people who owe me money
10) My generosity and general goodwill towards my fellow men. Or women, because in this case 2 chicks owe me
11) The general scarcity of panty-line-free underwear in my dresser
12) The possibility of having gone up another cup size (thanks birth control!! NOT--big titted bras are expensive)
13) My inability to talk to people about things I legitimately enjoy
14) My inability to talk with anyone, period
15) Facebook's privacy settings changing to becoming yet more intrusive
16) My haircut, for which I paid far too much for far too little change
17) My need for insurance
18) The fact that the new person to be hired is being started at a pay range that is 5k more than the rest of ours. OH HELL NO. THAT IS NOT COOL.
19) Certain individuals' fixation with stoicism and not showing strong emotion, because maybe I want them to be mad at me. Maybe it would be comforting to know that they are capable of being pissed. I mean, sometimes it's necessary to fake feelings to make others feel better.
20) And this, more than anything: The fact that it is nearly the end of April and I am not getting ANYTHING DONE. The only real accomplishment of 2010 is getting a salaried full-time job with benefits, and even that isn't so amazing (see #18).