revelation
a million miles away from anything familiar
a thousand places i would rather be
so i choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
though i find it hard to see beyond my suffering
in my heart i know Your plan is so much bigger
but this small part is all that i can see
and i believe You haven't left me here to wander
still i can't help but ponder where You're leading me
and i ask why this road
why this way
and this load
tell me how far must i go
till i see
till i know why
this road
--"this road" ginny owens
i've been asking a lot of questions like that.
where are you, God? what are you doing? why do you seem so far away?
i've also been asking a lot of questions that grow out of that kind of doubt.
who am i? what's wrong with me? why am i not as happy, not as joyful as i used to be? why am i so tired? why am i so dead?
over the last few months he has been awakening a hunger in me, and today, i can finally voice it. the pieces have come together and become sense:
i am hungry for a new revelation from God.
that's all there is to it and it is the only answer--the only option.i can no longer rest on the laurels of my youth. i can no longer believe that fighting and praying and radiating God's glory in high school was enough. it was not. the story does not end there. i am not finished. there was a time when the people around me knew who i was and what i stood for. it was expected; obvious.
this is no longer true. why?
i have chosen to lie dormant. i do not not know whether it was right or good. i do know, however, that if i plan to go on living, if i want to make it through college, if i want to retain my soul in this world...this period of dormancy must die today.
as i look forward, i recall the things i know. i know that my strength is in my vulnerability. this journal has been a testament to that. it is in the times when i am the most open, the most honest, when i bare my soul to others...that it is healed. i come to light that fire again.
i have lived in the wilderness for far too long. it is time to come home.
in a new year of new life, there are things i want to remember. i will need them to stay alive. they are in song form because it is how the Father speaks to me:
Oh God of the heavens, God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob, God of David and God of Isaiah, may you take me by the hand like Ruth and Esther, may you give me the courage of Deborah and the commitment of Hosea. God i ask you to fall like fire from heaven. I ask you to burn all of our preconceived notions about you so that we can breathe again. May we be able to see you again. May we be able to talk with you freely and may you speak truth and life into our hearts. Show me where to go and what to do. Give me the kind of direction you gave the prophets, and may I not falter in following You. May today be a new day, a good day, a life day, and a light day. You are doing a new thing and I have noticed, God. I have seen it and caught the vision. Please take me with You.
a thousand places i would rather be
so i choke back the tears and try to find the bright side
though i find it hard to see beyond my suffering
in my heart i know Your plan is so much bigger
but this small part is all that i can see
and i believe You haven't left me here to wander
still i can't help but ponder where You're leading me
and i ask why this road
why this way
and this load
tell me how far must i go
till i see
till i know why
this road
--"this road" ginny owens
i've been asking a lot of questions like that.
where are you, God? what are you doing? why do you seem so far away?
i've also been asking a lot of questions that grow out of that kind of doubt.
who am i? what's wrong with me? why am i not as happy, not as joyful as i used to be? why am i so tired? why am i so dead?
over the last few months he has been awakening a hunger in me, and today, i can finally voice it. the pieces have come together and become sense:
i am hungry for a new revelation from God.
that's all there is to it and it is the only answer--the only option.i can no longer rest on the laurels of my youth. i can no longer believe that fighting and praying and radiating God's glory in high school was enough. it was not. the story does not end there. i am not finished. there was a time when the people around me knew who i was and what i stood for. it was expected; obvious.
this is no longer true. why?
i have chosen to lie dormant. i do not not know whether it was right or good. i do know, however, that if i plan to go on living, if i want to make it through college, if i want to retain my soul in this world...this period of dormancy must die today.
as i look forward, i recall the things i know. i know that my strength is in my vulnerability. this journal has been a testament to that. it is in the times when i am the most open, the most honest, when i bare my soul to others...that it is healed. i come to light that fire again.
i have lived in the wilderness for far too long. it is time to come home.
in a new year of new life, there are things i want to remember. i will need them to stay alive. they are in song form because it is how the Father speaks to me:
- that good days come
that dark days call
that every day You're with me
with me through it all
and i will embrace what every moment brings
because You are with me
--"with me" ginny owens - when did i stop asking for Your wisdom
as if Your words were meant for someone else?
--"simply love you" ginny owens - beauty lies in the true story.
--"true story" ginny owens
- all i want to do, is give this life to You
all i want to do, is give this life to You
all i want to do, is give this life to You
and let Your will be done, 'til it's all i want to do.
--"all i want to do" ginny owens - there's a bigger picture you can't see
you don't have to change the world
just trust in Me
'cause I am your Creator, I am working out My plan
and through you I will show them I Am
--"i am" ginny owens
Oh God of the heavens, God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob, God of David and God of Isaiah, may you take me by the hand like Ruth and Esther, may you give me the courage of Deborah and the commitment of Hosea. God i ask you to fall like fire from heaven. I ask you to burn all of our preconceived notions about you so that we can breathe again. May we be able to see you again. May we be able to talk with you freely and may you speak truth and life into our hearts. Show me where to go and what to do. Give me the kind of direction you gave the prophets, and may I not falter in following You. May today be a new day, a good day, a life day, and a light day. You are doing a new thing and I have noticed, God. I have seen it and caught the vision. Please take me with You.