A Little Overview
Lately my life has been pretty laid-back. I go to school, come home and either chill, hang out with friends or Mike, or actually do my homework. Senioritis hit me hard, and ever since the Brandon thing, which totally derailed my focus, it's basically been a lost cause to stay dedicated to schoolwork. Thankfully I already know where I'm going to university (Rutgers, because it's super cheap and my parents can't really afford anything else), and it's senior year of high school, so all I really have to worry about is not failing calculus. By the way, calculus can blow me.
So this is my little routine in the morning, because I find it quaint that I have a routine:
-Get up at around six-ten
-Go to the bathroom if I have to (and wash my hands, of course)
-Brush teeth
-Wash or rinse face
-Get dressed
-Put on makeup
-Fix hair
-Make half a bagel with cream cheese and wrap it with aluminum foil
-Prepare coffee in my thermos-mug
-Make lunch and a plastic bag of fruit
-Put all of this in my backpack
-Pick up my neighbor, Jonathan, if he needs a ride/drive to school listening to sweet beats
School consists of:
1. AP European History - I LOVE THIS CLASS!!! Mr. Tinnes is fucking awesome - hilarious, intelligent/witty to the maxx, dressed like a GQ model (he's super stylish; it's awesome), and super lenient. I've never seen a teacher with such patience, seriously. My classmates are so ridiculous, too; I sit on the party side of the classroom (it's basically split down the middle), and the boys around me are so disruptive but funny.. except for Travis, who sits in the corner. Every Tuesday we have coffee for our double-lab, which is also super sweet.
2. Study hall on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (on Tuesday this is taken by AP Euro, on Thursday by AP Psych)
3. AP Psychology: I LOVE THIS CLASS!!! as well. Mr. Jensen is also fucking awesome, and is also hilarious and intelligent, and soooo laid-back. My class is so much fun; I have Brian, who jokes around as much as I do, and we all love to call out funny comments and kid around with Mr. Jensen. It's like a chill-out, hang-out period where we somehow get work done.. and I regularly draw a flaming, killer koala named Earl, who is always thinking of new ways to kill Mr. Jensen; I will post pictures of him another time.
4. Gym: Meh, whatever. Mr. Hagy is my teacher and was my cross-country coach, and since I hang out with his general favorites (my friends and I did track and cross country), we're cool with each other. He takes gym pretty seriously, though; he's laid-back the way gym teachers learn to be, but he tries really hard to get us fit and to always get something out of gym or health. Which is good, but sometimes irritating.
5. Calculus: AAHH I HATE CALCULUS. My teacher is nice but he can be a tooootal douchebag if he doesn't like you. And he gets really pumped about math and tries to get all of us to see how cool calculus is, and while I know that's just his niche, I sometimes feel he's doing it tongue-in-cheek for those of us who are obviously just taking the class to get into college. Calculus as a subject is so not my thing that I probably couldn't tell you what we did last chapter.
Lunch: Since it's getting nice out, and since my school has thing called "Senior Walk", I've been going outside for lunch lately and enjoying the sunshine. Usually I buy a cup of soup from the cafeteria and eat whatever I brought to school, which is usually fruit and a sandwich, or random little things.
6. English: Oh, English! I love Mr. Breslin, my teacher (think Anthony Hopkins with infinite wisdom, except quieter and not evil). Too bad he gives us homework up the ass. Ouf! The class itself is fine.. lately we've been doing a TON of AP test prep, but soon I'll be back to doodling and being one of the only kids to participate in class. By the by, senioritis has his this class haaaard.
7. Physics: When I don't have a double-lab in English, I have physics during this period. Physics is usually almost painful to sit through, not because I don't like Mr. Callahan (I used to hate him, but he grew on me a lot, and now he's one of the most unique and interactive teachers I've ever had), but because I'm not that good at physics. Lately we've been doing labs with electric circuits, and since I'm lab partners with my friend, Andrew, and we're completely and utterly ridiculous the entire time, it's actually been pretty fun, even if the time still passes slooowly. I've taken to using a pompous, silly, loud imperial English queen-like voice and making Andrew my minion/peon/serf, often shrilling "INSUBORDINATION!!" or "Prepare the banquet!!!", etc.
8. Study Hall: When I don't have a double-lab in physics, I go home, because seniors don't have to stay during last-period study halls, and I loooooooove going home early!
Independent Study: Love it. It makes me write, which is good. I slack at this, but when I do the work I usually produce pieces I really like, and I like seeing Ms. Morton and Krista and Katie. Ms. Morton is sooo chill, and I love her - she's awesome. Totally funny and intelligent and a really great mentor. And, like Tinnes, she doesn't yell at me when I hand work in late :x.
Mike and I have our ups and downs, but the great majority of the time is ups, and really good ups at that. I made my post about an argument we had on Friday night private - we worked it out, so it was kind of nullified. Miscommunications, general kinks that are straightened in any relationship, etc. etc. That's the point of working things out, after all. No matter how long I'm with him for, there is a level of dedication I committed in deciding to be with him at all, and so I'm willing to work as hard as I can to be with him; it makes me happy, and he makes me happy. I don't think in terms of how long we will be together, really; it's more like focusing on the present and feeling happy about the idea, but not working towards it. I made that mistake last time, in focusing too much on the future. That aside, Mike is very sweet, and adorable, and I like spending time with him. He's honestly one of the nicest people I know... that's his most distinguishing characterstic for me. He's not just nice in that vague, generic way; he always does things in consideration for others, and he honestly tries to do what's best for everyone and tries to be as fair as possible so that everyone is happy. He doesn't do mean, spiteful things, and he's very sincere and honest. He's nice the way Brian is nice, which is noticeably and distinguishingly nice.. the type that makes someone a really, honestly good person. And yeah, he's lovely and sexy, but those aren't quieting the way his kindness is. Being with Mike and letting time pass has let me gain perspective on my relationship with Brandon.. I feel I've gained a lot more insight to it. It was healthy of me to get out of it, even though that breakup was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. It really was. I wonder what Brandon thinks about everything, and what he's learned. I wonder if he dislikes me now, or what. I don't dislike him.. I just see him differently. I hope he's well, if anything. I will never stop caring for him as a person, but the past is becoming more like a memory than reality. And that's the way I think it's supposed to be.
I made a new friend named Paul recently.. he was a year ahead of me in school. He's SO AWESOME - HILARIOUS and really fun to be with! And super nice :D. He likes hip hop, sweet cartoons (we loooove to watch Adult Swim DVDs), cooking, cats (I adore his cat named Mona, who chirps and hates other cats but loves people), and lighting up. We smoke together quiet often - every time we hang out. At the same time, I never expect to get high with any of my friends. If it makes sense, even when I think it will probably happen, I never expect it. I feel that to expect it would be so that if we didn't do it I'd be like "wtf?" and confused. I would never be that way - I want to hang out with people for the sake of chilling together, not to get high. I can totally do that on my own (because I have my own now, yesss).
I hope to see way more of my Clark and Roselle Park/Hillside friends this summer. I sure as hell better! I miss all of them, and I still consider them to be my close and best friends. I love them very much, even if I don't see them.
I recently won an honorable mention from Rider University in their high school writing contest... I might get published in their literary publication. I might not, too, but it's nice to have been selected from thousands of students! And also, I won second place (and twenty-five dollars, NICE) in my own school's poetry category of the literary magazine contest. I couldn't enter last year because I was cheif editor. The poem that got first place was quite good - it was an almost epic poem with regular rhythm and meter, so I give the girl who wrote it major props for composing such a piece. I didn't think the language was too much to write home about, but a poem like that, especially from a high-schooler, is certainly worth recognition.
I saw Nate Leff today! I was very happy about that. He's still as cool as ever - I love his style, and his humor. Humor is important to me, if that wasn't already apparent. We only chilled for a little bit, but I still appreciated the visit.. it's not often that I get to see Nate, which is a shame, because if we had more time to talk, the conversation wouldn't be about just finding out the basics and me asking him about substances - we'd probably find fun adventures to go on. And I'd love to explore Nate's brain, because Nate is pretty awesome, and I still miss him!
It's become a regular thing to party at my house on the weekends now... by party I mean usually six of us hang out and smoke pot and watch movies/cartoons and laugh it up. And eat food, of course. I think this weekend, if people come over, I'm going to keep it as sober as possible, because I miss just plain hanging out. I don't want to burn out.. smoking is awesome, but I like to keep it manageable. I must admit, though: the two bowls I smoked in celebration of finishing my term paper were pure delight. And school being cancelled that day was just icing on the cake. Delicious, heavenly icing.
I'm trying to find sundresses to wear.. I really like wearing them now. I stopped being so self-conscious about my legs, so I don't mind wearing skirts, either. It's just that most of my skirts are reallllly short, so I don't wear them to school much. I have one that's long, but it's just one. Sundresses are nice because then you don't have to find a shirt that matches, and I look really cute in dresses, to be honest. Speaking of which, I am indeed going to prom, but I can confidentely say that it's only because Mike wanted to go. Seriously. He was waaaay more pumped about going than I ever was. I actually didn't want to go - I wanted to chill with Joe that night instead, even if he would have been like "no no!" - but Mike would honestly get upset every time I suggested not going, to the point where I told people I thought he was going to cry the next time I mentioned it. I have everything set up - dress, shoes, etc. - except I need to see what I can do about my hair. The dress is nice, though; it's black and clings to me, knee-length, halter-top with crystals for straps, and cut so that it bunches in the middle... that sounds ugly, but it's not. I actually tried it on as a whim (I already had a different one) with Kristin, and when I put it on it actually looked good. Kristin was like "you have to get it!!", so she convinced my mother to get it for me. Thus ends the boring prom dress story.. I'm looking forward to spending time with Mike, at least, and my friends are curious to meet him. I'm curious as to their reactions to him and me being dressed up - a rare sight indeed, especially because it involves a fancy dress. It will be nice to be obnoxious with Mike in front of my peers (holding hands, etc.), though.. proof that it pays to not be a slut, because you might find a nice, lovely boy to have a fulfilling relationship with, where interacting in public doesn't have to involve inhaling each other's faces. Like how Kate Monahan and Jason Phillips were before they broke up... god, they were so adorable together!
I haven't been on AIM much, so I haven't seen much of Elfie or Barry (but moreso Elfie)... I miss them :<. Elf, Elf!
Right now I'm going to go read some Hamlet or study AP Euro or something, and hope Mike texts me back. I love getting text messages from him! I like getting them in general, too.
I want more Rilakkuma!!!!
And I still love Sublime.
So this is my little routine in the morning, because I find it quaint that I have a routine:
-Get up at around six-ten
-Go to the bathroom if I have to (and wash my hands, of course)
-Brush teeth
-Wash or rinse face
-Get dressed
-Put on makeup
-Fix hair
-Make half a bagel with cream cheese and wrap it with aluminum foil
-Prepare coffee in my thermos-mug
-Make lunch and a plastic bag of fruit
-Put all of this in my backpack
-Pick up my neighbor, Jonathan, if he needs a ride/drive to school listening to sweet beats
School consists of:
1. AP European History - I LOVE THIS CLASS!!! Mr. Tinnes is fucking awesome - hilarious, intelligent/witty to the maxx, dressed like a GQ model (he's super stylish; it's awesome), and super lenient. I've never seen a teacher with such patience, seriously. My classmates are so ridiculous, too; I sit on the party side of the classroom (it's basically split down the middle), and the boys around me are so disruptive but funny.. except for Travis, who sits in the corner. Every Tuesday we have coffee for our double-lab, which is also super sweet.
2. Study hall on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (on Tuesday this is taken by AP Euro, on Thursday by AP Psych)
3. AP Psychology: I LOVE THIS CLASS!!! as well. Mr. Jensen is also fucking awesome, and is also hilarious and intelligent, and soooo laid-back. My class is so much fun; I have Brian, who jokes around as much as I do, and we all love to call out funny comments and kid around with Mr. Jensen. It's like a chill-out, hang-out period where we somehow get work done.. and I regularly draw a flaming, killer koala named Earl, who is always thinking of new ways to kill Mr. Jensen; I will post pictures of him another time.
4. Gym: Meh, whatever. Mr. Hagy is my teacher and was my cross-country coach, and since I hang out with his general favorites (my friends and I did track and cross country), we're cool with each other. He takes gym pretty seriously, though; he's laid-back the way gym teachers learn to be, but he tries really hard to get us fit and to always get something out of gym or health. Which is good, but sometimes irritating.
5. Calculus: AAHH I HATE CALCULUS. My teacher is nice but he can be a tooootal douchebag if he doesn't like you. And he gets really pumped about math and tries to get all of us to see how cool calculus is, and while I know that's just his niche, I sometimes feel he's doing it tongue-in-cheek for those of us who are obviously just taking the class to get into college. Calculus as a subject is so not my thing that I probably couldn't tell you what we did last chapter.
Lunch: Since it's getting nice out, and since my school has thing called "Senior Walk", I've been going outside for lunch lately and enjoying the sunshine. Usually I buy a cup of soup from the cafeteria and eat whatever I brought to school, which is usually fruit and a sandwich, or random little things.
6. English: Oh, English! I love Mr. Breslin, my teacher (think Anthony Hopkins with infinite wisdom, except quieter and not evil). Too bad he gives us homework up the ass. Ouf! The class itself is fine.. lately we've been doing a TON of AP test prep, but soon I'll be back to doodling and being one of the only kids to participate in class. By the by, senioritis has his this class haaaard.
7. Physics: When I don't have a double-lab in English, I have physics during this period. Physics is usually almost painful to sit through, not because I don't like Mr. Callahan (I used to hate him, but he grew on me a lot, and now he's one of the most unique and interactive teachers I've ever had), but because I'm not that good at physics. Lately we've been doing labs with electric circuits, and since I'm lab partners with my friend, Andrew, and we're completely and utterly ridiculous the entire time, it's actually been pretty fun, even if the time still passes slooowly. I've taken to using a pompous, silly, loud imperial English queen-like voice and making Andrew my minion/peon/serf, often shrilling "INSUBORDINATION!!" or "Prepare the banquet!!!", etc.
8. Study Hall: When I don't have a double-lab in physics, I go home, because seniors don't have to stay during last-period study halls, and I loooooooove going home early!
Independent Study: Love it. It makes me write, which is good. I slack at this, but when I do the work I usually produce pieces I really like, and I like seeing Ms. Morton and Krista and Katie. Ms. Morton is sooo chill, and I love her - she's awesome. Totally funny and intelligent and a really great mentor. And, like Tinnes, she doesn't yell at me when I hand work in late :x.
Mike and I have our ups and downs, but the great majority of the time is ups, and really good ups at that. I made my post about an argument we had on Friday night private - we worked it out, so it was kind of nullified. Miscommunications, general kinks that are straightened in any relationship, etc. etc. That's the point of working things out, after all. No matter how long I'm with him for, there is a level of dedication I committed in deciding to be with him at all, and so I'm willing to work as hard as I can to be with him; it makes me happy, and he makes me happy. I don't think in terms of how long we will be together, really; it's more like focusing on the present and feeling happy about the idea, but not working towards it. I made that mistake last time, in focusing too much on the future. That aside, Mike is very sweet, and adorable, and I like spending time with him. He's honestly one of the nicest people I know... that's his most distinguishing characterstic for me. He's not just nice in that vague, generic way; he always does things in consideration for others, and he honestly tries to do what's best for everyone and tries to be as fair as possible so that everyone is happy. He doesn't do mean, spiteful things, and he's very sincere and honest. He's nice the way Brian is nice, which is noticeably and distinguishingly nice.. the type that makes someone a really, honestly good person. And yeah, he's lovely and sexy, but those aren't quieting the way his kindness is. Being with Mike and letting time pass has let me gain perspective on my relationship with Brandon.. I feel I've gained a lot more insight to it. It was healthy of me to get out of it, even though that breakup was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. It really was. I wonder what Brandon thinks about everything, and what he's learned. I wonder if he dislikes me now, or what. I don't dislike him.. I just see him differently. I hope he's well, if anything. I will never stop caring for him as a person, but the past is becoming more like a memory than reality. And that's the way I think it's supposed to be.
I made a new friend named Paul recently.. he was a year ahead of me in school. He's SO AWESOME - HILARIOUS and really fun to be with! And super nice :D. He likes hip hop, sweet cartoons (we loooove to watch Adult Swim DVDs), cooking, cats (I adore his cat named Mona, who chirps and hates other cats but loves people), and lighting up. We smoke together quiet often - every time we hang out. At the same time, I never expect to get high with any of my friends. If it makes sense, even when I think it will probably happen, I never expect it. I feel that to expect it would be so that if we didn't do it I'd be like "wtf?" and confused. I would never be that way - I want to hang out with people for the sake of chilling together, not to get high. I can totally do that on my own (because I have my own now, yesss).
I hope to see way more of my Clark and Roselle Park/Hillside friends this summer. I sure as hell better! I miss all of them, and I still consider them to be my close and best friends. I love them very much, even if I don't see them.
I recently won an honorable mention from Rider University in their high school writing contest... I might get published in their literary publication. I might not, too, but it's nice to have been selected from thousands of students! And also, I won second place (and twenty-five dollars, NICE) in my own school's poetry category of the literary magazine contest. I couldn't enter last year because I was cheif editor. The poem that got first place was quite good - it was an almost epic poem with regular rhythm and meter, so I give the girl who wrote it major props for composing such a piece. I didn't think the language was too much to write home about, but a poem like that, especially from a high-schooler, is certainly worth recognition.
I saw Nate Leff today! I was very happy about that. He's still as cool as ever - I love his style, and his humor. Humor is important to me, if that wasn't already apparent. We only chilled for a little bit, but I still appreciated the visit.. it's not often that I get to see Nate, which is a shame, because if we had more time to talk, the conversation wouldn't be about just finding out the basics and me asking him about substances - we'd probably find fun adventures to go on. And I'd love to explore Nate's brain, because Nate is pretty awesome, and I still miss him!
It's become a regular thing to party at my house on the weekends now... by party I mean usually six of us hang out and smoke pot and watch movies/cartoons and laugh it up. And eat food, of course. I think this weekend, if people come over, I'm going to keep it as sober as possible, because I miss just plain hanging out. I don't want to burn out.. smoking is awesome, but I like to keep it manageable. I must admit, though: the two bowls I smoked in celebration of finishing my term paper were pure delight. And school being cancelled that day was just icing on the cake. Delicious, heavenly icing.
I'm trying to find sundresses to wear.. I really like wearing them now. I stopped being so self-conscious about my legs, so I don't mind wearing skirts, either. It's just that most of my skirts are reallllly short, so I don't wear them to school much. I have one that's long, but it's just one. Sundresses are nice because then you don't have to find a shirt that matches, and I look really cute in dresses, to be honest. Speaking of which, I am indeed going to prom, but I can confidentely say that it's only because Mike wanted to go. Seriously. He was waaaay more pumped about going than I ever was. I actually didn't want to go - I wanted to chill with Joe that night instead, even if he would have been like "no no!" - but Mike would honestly get upset every time I suggested not going, to the point where I told people I thought he was going to cry the next time I mentioned it. I have everything set up - dress, shoes, etc. - except I need to see what I can do about my hair. The dress is nice, though; it's black and clings to me, knee-length, halter-top with crystals for straps, and cut so that it bunches in the middle... that sounds ugly, but it's not. I actually tried it on as a whim (I already had a different one) with Kristin, and when I put it on it actually looked good. Kristin was like "you have to get it!!", so she convinced my mother to get it for me. Thus ends the boring prom dress story.. I'm looking forward to spending time with Mike, at least, and my friends are curious to meet him. I'm curious as to their reactions to him and me being dressed up - a rare sight indeed, especially because it involves a fancy dress. It will be nice to be obnoxious with Mike in front of my peers (holding hands, etc.), though.. proof that it pays to not be a slut, because you might find a nice, lovely boy to have a fulfilling relationship with, where interacting in public doesn't have to involve inhaling each other's faces. Like how Kate Monahan and Jason Phillips were before they broke up... god, they were so adorable together!
I haven't been on AIM much, so I haven't seen much of Elfie or Barry (but moreso Elfie)... I miss them :<. Elf, Elf!
Right now I'm going to go read some Hamlet or study AP Euro or something, and hope Mike texts me back. I love getting text messages from him! I like getting them in general, too.
I want more Rilakkuma!!!!
And I still love Sublime.