(no subject)
So right now I guess I am feeling a little bit funny. I have been looking back on what has been going on in my life in the past month and I cannot help but ask myself what I really have going for me. I am still at Pathmark working the best I know how to without making any gain, college is going well but I don't see anything coming of it yet except for a big bill, and I still have no family. It's not that I am depressed, it's that I almost don't care anymore. I feel like sometimes I have accepted this crappy hand that I have been dealt and I am almost content... except that I am not.
I miss my friends.
With TJ always in a play of some sort and Bri away I feel like I have lost my support around here. I am totally seperated from everything I know in Totowa. Sometimes I feel like I am on an island in the middle of a vast empty sea, and everyone forgot that I exist. When I am not working or at college, that is where I retire. My little island with almost no food. Perhaps it is the memories of late night slurpie runs and Weird NJ adventures that is putting me down. Sometimes they feel so far away.
I miss Ericka
Though I see here more than I used to, Ericka still seems so far from me. Sometimes there is nothing in the world that I want to do more than just sit down and talk to her face to face. The phone just can't cut it sometimes. When I do see her at her college a whole new sets of problems seem to come up that interfere with us talking. I guess it's the one on one time I miss. The silly moments that we share when we are in our bubble. I want to be in the bubble.
I miss me
The whole world is shifting, people are moving apart, people are maturing, and still I stay exactly the same. The attention seeking, awkward, unpopular, stubborn boy that I have always been. I guess some things in life never change. Sometimes I wonder if I will.
Christmas is coming, I wonder who I sill spend it with. I wonder if I'll have a family.
I can feel her arms around me sometimes. I like it. I miss her.
I miss my friends.
With TJ always in a play of some sort and Bri away I feel like I have lost my support around here. I am totally seperated from everything I know in Totowa. Sometimes I feel like I am on an island in the middle of a vast empty sea, and everyone forgot that I exist. When I am not working or at college, that is where I retire. My little island with almost no food. Perhaps it is the memories of late night slurpie runs and Weird NJ adventures that is putting me down. Sometimes they feel so far away.
I miss Ericka
Though I see here more than I used to, Ericka still seems so far from me. Sometimes there is nothing in the world that I want to do more than just sit down and talk to her face to face. The phone just can't cut it sometimes. When I do see her at her college a whole new sets of problems seem to come up that interfere with us talking. I guess it's the one on one time I miss. The silly moments that we share when we are in our bubble. I want to be in the bubble.
I miss me
The whole world is shifting, people are moving apart, people are maturing, and still I stay exactly the same. The attention seeking, awkward, unpopular, stubborn boy that I have always been. I guess some things in life never change. Sometimes I wonder if I will.
Christmas is coming, I wonder who I sill spend it with. I wonder if I'll have a family.
I can feel her arms around me sometimes. I like it. I miss her.