It's been HOW long!?
Uggh.
I got a last-minute-hire job in Granby. I found a perfect cabin to rent...except that it had no internet. Period. Of course this site was blocked at the school, so I really haven't had a chance to post or read or anything.
I can't help feeling like I was hired as a last resort, like they never really planned to keep me next year. That really doesn't help the depression any. I ended up sitting in my classroom on my plan hour telling myself how worthless I was. I gave up all of every nice-weather weekend for those people and none of it mattered. I wasted the only opportunity to enjoy living in a recreation hotspot in the name of doing the best job possible, and it meant nothing.
How could I possibly do better? Why would anyone else bother to hire me? What makes me think I'll ever be good enough at anything to justify my existance?
I need a hug.
I got a last-minute-hire job in Granby. I found a perfect cabin to rent...except that it had no internet. Period. Of course this site was blocked at the school, so I really haven't had a chance to post or read or anything.
I can't help feeling like I was hired as a last resort, like they never really planned to keep me next year. That really doesn't help the depression any. I ended up sitting in my classroom on my plan hour telling myself how worthless I was. I gave up all of every nice-weather weekend for those people and none of it mattered. I wasted the only opportunity to enjoy living in a recreation hotspot in the name of doing the best job possible, and it meant nothing.
How could I possibly do better? Why would anyone else bother to hire me? What makes me think I'll ever be good enough at anything to justify my existance?
I need a hug.