Shikamaru's Mom (and Dad)
Title: Shikamaru's Mom (and Dad)
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Yoshino Nara/Shikaku Nara/Neji Hyuuga
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 1366
Warnings: Crack, BDSM, large age-difference, did I mention CRACK?!
Summary: The origins of the Nara Family Sex Dungeon. It's pure crack and it's all
kalliestarmist's fault. Blame her.
Prequel to This Equally Upsetting Fic
It was like this: Neji and Tenten were friends, if by friends you meant that they saw each other every day and didn't totally detest one another and occasionally watched cult horror movies together and talked about boys. Tenten and Ino were friends, because Tenten thought that Ino looked exactly like her favorite porn star and that was convinced that if she could get get Ino naked in a room with her they would have a love story to last the ages. Ino and Shikamaru were friends because Ino said so and Shikamaru was too lazy (or too frightened) to say otherwise.
Friends, Neji was lead to believe by people like Rock Lee, did things together. Things like singing and laughing and popping and locking (once again, according to Rock Lee). This was the reason that Neji was seated uncomfortably on the overly plush couch in the living room of the Nara household watching his three 'friends' eat popcorn and giggle and watch action movies.
No one was actually paying attention to the screen; Shikamaru because he hadn't paid attention to the first thirty minutes and thus couldn't be bothered to pay attention to the rest, Tenten because she was watching Ino's breasts, and Ino because she was holding a one-sided argument with Shikamaru. Neji was, understandably, bored out of his skull.
"I'm getting a drink." He announced to the room at large.
There was a pause.
"Get me some pretzels?" Tenten asked after about a minute and a half, not tearing herself away from the staring contest she had going with Ino's nipples.
Neji sighed and left the room. 'Friends', he decided, did not stand up well against a blonde who didn't wear bras.
The kitchen was the large, shiny sort of room that people had added into their relatively humble house in order to show that they had a significant income but no desire to move. There was an island and lots of stainless steel. Neji approved of stainless steel.
He had his head buried in the refrigerator after a moment, so it wasn't until an unrecognizable female voice said "Oooh! What do we have here?" that Neji even knew there was someone else in the room.
"Fuck! I mean... Hello Mr. and Mrs. Nara." He said
"Hello... Neji was it?" Yoshino Nara responded. Neji had met the women a few times before (usually in a large group of people) and she had always seemed rather severe, but the look on her face as he turned to greet her was pure cunning. Neji swallowed heavily.
"Yes Ma'am." He said. His daddy's brother raised him to be polite after all.
"We knew your father." Shikaku Nara said, coming up from behind his wife, "He was a good man."
"Very good." Yoshino added.
"That's right, dear."
"Um..." Neji felt quite a bit like a small animal that had been caught in the talons of a large hawk, "I'm just going to... Leave?"
"Oh no!" Yoshino cried, "We'd love to get to know you better! It's been so long since we chatted with a Hyuuga."
Somewhere behind her Shikaku snorted, "Chatted".
Her breasts, Neji noticed, were practically falling out of her white blouse. They were nice. Mesmerizing. Much better than Ino's if Neji would go so far as to venture an opinion (which he wasn't going to do, because Ino could read minds).
"How do you feel about... older women, Neji Hyuuga?" Yoshino asked in possibly the most lecherous voice ever used by a women over forty.
"Are you propositioning me, Mrs. Nara?" Neji asked through the heavy weight in his chest. He swallowed again, but this time it wasn't because of fear.
"Yes."
"Oh." Neji had rarely met someone quite so straightforward. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not, "I'm sorry to say this, Mrs. Nara, but I'm pretty much gay so..."
"Oh that's alright," She told him, waving a dismissive hand, "I've got a husband!" Shikaku popped out from behind his wife and gave Neji a friendly wave, "And the way you're looking at my breasts indicates at least a little interest."
"I... uh..."
"I understand that you might be a little overwhelmed by them." Yoshino said, looking down and bouncing on her toes a little so that they jiggled in a way that Neji found more than distracting. "I know just what we should do!"
And with that exclamation, Neji found himself dragged down a set of carpeted stairs into what had once been a basement but was now a fully furnished bedroom. If your bedroom came with a display of whips and floggers and a bed with great big metal rings handing from the posts.
Yoshino locked the door.
"I..." I'm not comfortable with this! Neji wanted to shout, but he really wasn't uncomfortable so much as aroused and Yoshino was approaching him with that soon-to-be-familiar vicious grin and Shikaku was...
Kneeling. On the floor by the bed, his hands resting lightly on his thighs and a thick brown collar around his neck. And leering.
"Now if you want to stop you just say 'Konoha', can you say that for me honey?"
"Konohaaaa." Neji voice rose to a highly un-manly squeak. Yoshino had managed to get her hand on his cock in record time and was squeezing in a way that was at once threatening and uncomfortable and completely arousing.
"You're just like your daddy, you know." She told him, "He was just the prissiest thing I've ever had the pleasure to fuck."
Neji squeezed his eyes shut. He shouldn't be feeling this way, he told himself, he should be grossed out. This was Shikamaru's mom. Shikamaru was his- was a fr- He knew Shikamaru. And she was talking about his dad in a way that made him frankly uncomfortable. On the other hand he was pretty fucking aroused. Neji knew where his priorities lay.
At the moment his priorities lay in the capable hands of Yoshino Nara.
Her hands were tightening around his... priorities, pulling him in the direction of the bed. Neji had little choice but to follow or give up the entire evening and he could see Shikaku lifting various strange objects out of a dark leather trunk at the foot of the bed and whoa, that man was hung.
Neji decided that he didn't really know Shikamaru all that well anyway. They weren't actually f-- fr-- they didn't even talk.
Watching Shikaku produce an obviously custom made harness and a large dildo and present the toys to Yoshino as if they were some kind of crown and scepter, Neji decided that ethical dilemmas could go die in a fire.
And things were quite obviously getting a little out of hand because Neji wasn't sure how he got onto this bed and he was sure whose fingers were sliding, covered in lube, into his ass and he wasn't sure exactly how he'd gotten on the bed much less tied to it and none of it mattered.
Nothing mattered, Neji decided, but the floating feeling that was rising up behind his eyes and the dull ache of the clamps that Shikaku had applied to his nipples at Yoshino's command. Pre-come beaded at the tip of his cock as he threw his head back and groaned, panting, as Yoshino's grinning face came into view.
"In just a few moments you're going to scream for me." She informed him.
"Wha--"
Something hurt. Something hurt, fire shooting down through his side and across his chest as Yoshino removed the left clamp and twisted his nipple in a single vicious movement, massaging the blood back into oxygen-starved and sensitive flesh, and simultaneously slid her plastic cock home.
Neji screamed. And came.
Yoshino didn't pause.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nearly two hours later Neji found himself lounging on the bed in Shikamaru's basement, naked, cuddled in between Shikamaru's parents and so high on endorphins he was actually smiling in a non-ironic fashion.
"Mmmm..." He said, turning his face into Shikaku's neck and licking at the bruise he found there, "That was... You should do that for a living."
Shikaku and Yoshino's eyes met over his head, twin smiles gleaming from devious faces.
Neji was already fast asleep.
Continued here
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Yoshino Nara/Shikaku Nara/Neji Hyuuga
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 1366
Warnings: Crack, BDSM, large age-difference, did I mention CRACK?!
Summary: The origins of the Nara Family Sex Dungeon. It's pure crack and it's all
kalliestarmist's fault. Blame her.
Prequel to This Equally Upsetting Fic
It was like this: Neji and Tenten were friends, if by friends you meant that they saw each other every day and didn't totally detest one another and occasionally watched cult horror movies together and talked about boys. Tenten and Ino were friends, because Tenten thought that Ino looked exactly like her favorite porn star and that was convinced that if she could get get Ino naked in a room with her they would have a love story to last the ages. Ino and Shikamaru were friends because Ino said so and Shikamaru was too lazy (or too frightened) to say otherwise.
Friends, Neji was lead to believe by people like Rock Lee, did things together. Things like singing and laughing and popping and locking (once again, according to Rock Lee). This was the reason that Neji was seated uncomfortably on the overly plush couch in the living room of the Nara household watching his three 'friends' eat popcorn and giggle and watch action movies.
No one was actually paying attention to the screen; Shikamaru because he hadn't paid attention to the first thirty minutes and thus couldn't be bothered to pay attention to the rest, Tenten because she was watching Ino's breasts, and Ino because she was holding a one-sided argument with Shikamaru. Neji was, understandably, bored out of his skull.
"I'm getting a drink." He announced to the room at large.
There was a pause.
"Get me some pretzels?" Tenten asked after about a minute and a half, not tearing herself away from the staring contest she had going with Ino's nipples.
Neji sighed and left the room. 'Friends', he decided, did not stand up well against a blonde who didn't wear bras.
The kitchen was the large, shiny sort of room that people had added into their relatively humble house in order to show that they had a significant income but no desire to move. There was an island and lots of stainless steel. Neji approved of stainless steel.
He had his head buried in the refrigerator after a moment, so it wasn't until an unrecognizable female voice said "Oooh! What do we have here?" that Neji even knew there was someone else in the room.
"Fuck! I mean... Hello Mr. and Mrs. Nara." He said
"Hello... Neji was it?" Yoshino Nara responded. Neji had met the women a few times before (usually in a large group of people) and she had always seemed rather severe, but the look on her face as he turned to greet her was pure cunning. Neji swallowed heavily.
"Yes Ma'am." He said. His daddy's brother raised him to be polite after all.
"We knew your father." Shikaku Nara said, coming up from behind his wife, "He was a good man."
"Very good." Yoshino added.
"That's right, dear."
"Um..." Neji felt quite a bit like a small animal that had been caught in the talons of a large hawk, "I'm just going to... Leave?"
"Oh no!" Yoshino cried, "We'd love to get to know you better! It's been so long since we chatted with a Hyuuga."
Somewhere behind her Shikaku snorted, "Chatted".
Her breasts, Neji noticed, were practically falling out of her white blouse. They were nice. Mesmerizing. Much better than Ino's if Neji would go so far as to venture an opinion (which he wasn't going to do, because Ino could read minds).
"How do you feel about... older women, Neji Hyuuga?" Yoshino asked in possibly the most lecherous voice ever used by a women over forty.
"Are you propositioning me, Mrs. Nara?" Neji asked through the heavy weight in his chest. He swallowed again, but this time it wasn't because of fear.
"Yes."
"Oh." Neji had rarely met someone quite so straightforward. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not, "I'm sorry to say this, Mrs. Nara, but I'm pretty much gay so..."
"Oh that's alright," She told him, waving a dismissive hand, "I've got a husband!" Shikaku popped out from behind his wife and gave Neji a friendly wave, "And the way you're looking at my breasts indicates at least a little interest."
"I... uh..."
"I understand that you might be a little overwhelmed by them." Yoshino said, looking down and bouncing on her toes a little so that they jiggled in a way that Neji found more than distracting. "I know just what we should do!"
And with that exclamation, Neji found himself dragged down a set of carpeted stairs into what had once been a basement but was now a fully furnished bedroom. If your bedroom came with a display of whips and floggers and a bed with great big metal rings handing from the posts.
Yoshino locked the door.
"I..." I'm not comfortable with this! Neji wanted to shout, but he really wasn't uncomfortable so much as aroused and Yoshino was approaching him with that soon-to-be-familiar vicious grin and Shikaku was...
Kneeling. On the floor by the bed, his hands resting lightly on his thighs and a thick brown collar around his neck. And leering.
"Now if you want to stop you just say 'Konoha', can you say that for me honey?"
"Konohaaaa." Neji voice rose to a highly un-manly squeak. Yoshino had managed to get her hand on his cock in record time and was squeezing in a way that was at once threatening and uncomfortable and completely arousing.
"You're just like your daddy, you know." She told him, "He was just the prissiest thing I've ever had the pleasure to fuck."
Neji squeezed his eyes shut. He shouldn't be feeling this way, he told himself, he should be grossed out. This was Shikamaru's mom. Shikamaru was his- was a fr- He knew Shikamaru. And she was talking about his dad in a way that made him frankly uncomfortable. On the other hand he was pretty fucking aroused. Neji knew where his priorities lay.
At the moment his priorities lay in the capable hands of Yoshino Nara.
Her hands were tightening around his... priorities, pulling him in the direction of the bed. Neji had little choice but to follow or give up the entire evening and he could see Shikaku lifting various strange objects out of a dark leather trunk at the foot of the bed and whoa, that man was hung.
Neji decided that he didn't really know Shikamaru all that well anyway. They weren't actually f-- fr-- they didn't even talk.
Watching Shikaku produce an obviously custom made harness and a large dildo and present the toys to Yoshino as if they were some kind of crown and scepter, Neji decided that ethical dilemmas could go die in a fire.
And things were quite obviously getting a little out of hand because Neji wasn't sure how he got onto this bed and he was sure whose fingers were sliding, covered in lube, into his ass and he wasn't sure exactly how he'd gotten on the bed much less tied to it and none of it mattered.
Nothing mattered, Neji decided, but the floating feeling that was rising up behind his eyes and the dull ache of the clamps that Shikaku had applied to his nipples at Yoshino's command. Pre-come beaded at the tip of his cock as he threw his head back and groaned, panting, as Yoshino's grinning face came into view.
"In just a few moments you're going to scream for me." She informed him.
"Wha--"
Something hurt. Something hurt, fire shooting down through his side and across his chest as Yoshino removed the left clamp and twisted his nipple in a single vicious movement, massaging the blood back into oxygen-starved and sensitive flesh, and simultaneously slid her plastic cock home.
Neji screamed. And came.
Yoshino didn't pause.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nearly two hours later Neji found himself lounging on the bed in Shikamaru's basement, naked, cuddled in between Shikamaru's parents and so high on endorphins he was actually smiling in a non-ironic fashion.
"Mmmm..." He said, turning his face into Shikaku's neck and licking at the bruise he found there, "That was... You should do that for a living."
Shikaku and Yoshino's eyes met over his head, twin smiles gleaming from devious faces.
Neji was already fast asleep.
Continued here