ain't no sunshine
Whee. :) In a sense, in a way.
It bites. In a way. How it doesn't seem all that fair, all that fine. It's the kind of bite that hurts even a long while after, that might leave a mark. If you're a keloid former. If you choose to worry the thought over and over.
So it was, so it is. It should be strange, but it isn't. The most surprising part of the matter did not surprise at all. But it isn't strange because those are the thoughts passed around, the ones that have theories made about them. Those are the big thoughts. The ones meant to amaze, to shock, to vindicate. And they did.
They did what they were meant to do, so why talk about them? Those things don't bite. Not much. Not in the harsh, sudden way that the others do. Those things bite slowly, as if they never meant to hurt at all. As if they were simply instructed to do so were very sorry about it. You can almost hear them, whispering, please don't bleed, please don't bleed.
And it makes you think that those things are better than the others. They didn't mean to do it, didn't want to. Of course they're better.
Then you notice. The harsh ones, the ones that bled, are healing now. There are scars forming. Some are even faint enough to go unnoticed. Things are getting better, smoother.
But the ones who were sorry for biting...they are still there, bruising, leaving no time for repair. They bite practically without teeth and feeling, but they latch on. They don't let go, those unsurprising thoughts. And it is your fault, too, for seeing them coming and choosing to not do anything, seeing them and staying where you stood.
They hurt, too. Maybe not as sudden, but just as bad. Maybe worse, maybe not. What's the difference, between the sudden and the expected? They all bite, in the end.
Happy birthday, Tatay :)
I miss you.
Not as much as they do, but still.
(Is there a level of missing somebody?)
Sometimes I think, things would never have been this bad,
had you been around.
Sometimes I think things could have been better;
they would have been different, surely,
but maybe they would have been better, too.
Maybe they can still be.
Maybe things will fix themselves.
You were good at fixing, weren't you?
You still are, I bet.
<3
Pauliworld. Erk. Help.
Whee. Today was okay. Fine. Lovely, even with slight sneeziness and a sort-of-sore throat. Thank You. :)
It's the same number, isn't it? I like it. It's enough, more than. And I'm glad, but I can't help the unpleasant twinge that comes when I remember that, for me to have gotten there, I must've passed others, maybe somewhat "rudely," too.
So it was, so it is.
Congratulations, friends. :) We did what we could (which was the hard part). And they thought it was enough (which was the lucky part). Yay.
I disturb myself sometimes, with my words and whatever. I probably shouldn't have had ice cream. Oh well.
Mommy's leg/knee/hip/something hurts because she slipped. Ouch. :( Make her better, please?:)
It bites. In a way. How it doesn't seem all that fair, all that fine. It's the kind of bite that hurts even a long while after, that might leave a mark. If you're a keloid former. If you choose to worry the thought over and over.
So it was, so it is. It should be strange, but it isn't. The most surprising part of the matter did not surprise at all. But it isn't strange because those are the thoughts passed around, the ones that have theories made about them. Those are the big thoughts. The ones meant to amaze, to shock, to vindicate. And they did.
They did what they were meant to do, so why talk about them? Those things don't bite. Not much. Not in the harsh, sudden way that the others do. Those things bite slowly, as if they never meant to hurt at all. As if they were simply instructed to do so were very sorry about it. You can almost hear them, whispering, please don't bleed, please don't bleed.
And it makes you think that those things are better than the others. They didn't mean to do it, didn't want to. Of course they're better.
Then you notice. The harsh ones, the ones that bled, are healing now. There are scars forming. Some are even faint enough to go unnoticed. Things are getting better, smoother.
But the ones who were sorry for biting...they are still there, bruising, leaving no time for repair. They bite practically without teeth and feeling, but they latch on. They don't let go, those unsurprising thoughts. And it is your fault, too, for seeing them coming and choosing to not do anything, seeing them and staying where you stood.
They hurt, too. Maybe not as sudden, but just as bad. Maybe worse, maybe not. What's the difference, between the sudden and the expected? They all bite, in the end.
Happy birthday, Tatay :)
I miss you.
Not as much as they do, but still.
(Is there a level of missing somebody?)
Sometimes I think, things would never have been this bad,
had you been around.
Sometimes I think things could have been better;
they would have been different, surely,
but maybe they would have been better, too.
Maybe they can still be.
Maybe things will fix themselves.
You were good at fixing, weren't you?
You still are, I bet.
<3
Pauliworld. Erk. Help.
Whee. Today was okay. Fine. Lovely, even with slight sneeziness and a sort-of-sore throat. Thank You. :)
It's the same number, isn't it? I like it. It's enough, more than. And I'm glad, but I can't help the unpleasant twinge that comes when I remember that, for me to have gotten there, I must've passed others, maybe somewhat "rudely," too.
So it was, so it is.
Congratulations, friends. :) We did what we could (which was the hard part). And they thought it was enough (which was the lucky part). Yay.
I disturb myself sometimes, with my words and whatever. I probably shouldn't have had ice cream. Oh well.
Mommy's leg/knee/hip/something hurts because she slipped. Ouch. :( Make her better, please?:)