hey!
I'm officially home for the rest of my life.
or until something tears me away again.
i never should have left syracuse, the past 3 years could have been better.
i miss alex and danger the most i think.
and minhi, i'll always miss her.
i miss getting out of work and having all of my friends in my room watching spongebob with me and smoking weed or drinking something.
i miss having a place of my own.
update- i pretty much live with mitch. i love it. falling asleep and waking up with him. but it isn't my place. i want my own place. i want to have a room of my own, i haven't had that in 4 years already. at my house [moms house] there are like 7 people living there and no room for me. thankfully i have mitchs to feel at home.
i miss thinking that i was going to get an apartment with my bestfriend when i was in highschool. i never incorporated the boyfriend situations. it's so far gone waiting for the day when heather and i would get excited about needing to pick up eggs because we ran out. ha
i'm scared of the future. mostly because so many of the things i used to believe in are gone already.
in two weeks i am coming off of cymbalta. i don't know what that means for me. i did a lot of growing up while on it and want to get off of it before i am completely dependent. hopfully cigarettes will go next. idk, i really like them sometimes. ^_^
so i need to start working and get a schedule of some sort going. it so hasn't sunk in that i am home home yet. this isn't a break. this is real. this is where i think i belong.
so i want to get all of my friends together sometime to do some drinking and talking and happy making. hm. more later!
or until something tears me away again.
i never should have left syracuse, the past 3 years could have been better.
i miss alex and danger the most i think.
and minhi, i'll always miss her.
i miss getting out of work and having all of my friends in my room watching spongebob with me and smoking weed or drinking something.
i miss having a place of my own.
update- i pretty much live with mitch. i love it. falling asleep and waking up with him. but it isn't my place. i want my own place. i want to have a room of my own, i haven't had that in 4 years already. at my house [moms house] there are like 7 people living there and no room for me. thankfully i have mitchs to feel at home.
i miss thinking that i was going to get an apartment with my bestfriend when i was in highschool. i never incorporated the boyfriend situations. it's so far gone waiting for the day when heather and i would get excited about needing to pick up eggs because we ran out. ha
i'm scared of the future. mostly because so many of the things i used to believe in are gone already.
in two weeks i am coming off of cymbalta. i don't know what that means for me. i did a lot of growing up while on it and want to get off of it before i am completely dependent. hopfully cigarettes will go next. idk, i really like them sometimes. ^_^
so i need to start working and get a schedule of some sort going. it so hasn't sunk in that i am home home yet. this isn't a break. this is real. this is where i think i belong.
so i want to get all of my friends together sometime to do some drinking and talking and happy making. hm. more later!