[quotethis-muses] (march) am i the only one whose waiting for something
Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something.
- Isabella Swan (Stephanie Meyer's Twilight)
"I'm not just going to sit back and let you die," she said and it was like a broken record between her and Sam and honestly he's just damn tired of hearing that defeat in their voice. He's not really ready to die and become one of the bastard demons he lives to hunt but what can he do? He doesn't particularly want to leave Sammy alone with that bitch Ruby and he damn well doesn't want to leave Jo but what can he do?
He's dying for his brother and he'd die for Jo but they can't seem to see it as all that noble and he thinks he should be getting more credit than being called a jerk and getting his balls handed to him in a jar by his girlfriend. Of course she's gonna do that whether he lives or dies so he should get used to it and he knows that.
"Look," he starts meeting her eyes. "I love you and I think I probably always have. I'm not good at this stuff but if there is one thing in the world I can do - I could do for Sammy it was this and I need both of you to just let it go. I need you to take care of each other when I'm gone."
"I hate you," she says but she clearly doesn't mean it and her eyes shine.
"No you don't. Jo, can't you just understand. If you could have saved your dad wouldn't you have done anything?" I asked her.
Her eyes flashed in what I'd come to learn was her angry look. Not her pissy look or her annoyed look (my girl's got a damn lot of looks) but her angry look. Her I'm going to castrate you with a spoon and feed them to you until you scream look.
"Don't even ..." she says too angry to finish the sentence.
I sighed and pulled her to me by her belt loops. I pressed my cheek against her stomach and closed my eyes. "I did the only thing I could Jo and I can't keep apologizing for it. He's my brother and ..."
"I know Sam comes first, Sam will always come first," she says and she's only a little bit angry about that fact.
"No," I shook my head. "Well yeah," I amended, "But that doesn't mean you don't come first too."
There's that annoyed look. "I just can't win. Jo, come on."
She sighed this time and ran her hand through my hair. I closed my eyes and felt her fingertips along my scalp. I don't know how I can give this up, I don't know how I can let myself be sucked down to hell and leave her here alone. I don't mean to sound particularly smug but she's going to be a wreck and I don't know if Sammy's gonna be any better off to help her through it. They need to lean on each other (but not hook up dammit) when I'm gone.
"I need you to do something for me," I said carefully.
I looked up at her and her hands framed my head. I wanted to lean into her, fall into her and get lost and not have to think about demons and darkness and what I might become. Or would become, inevitably. She just looked at me expectantly, fear clouding her beautiful eyes. I had no idea how she put up with me or when exactly I'd fallen under her spell. Sam liked to make whip noises when he thought I wasn't paying attention and okay, so maybe I was a little whipped but you know what? I've only got a few months to live so I just don't care.
"When it happens. I need you to destroy me, completely," I said and I already saw her reaction.
She pulled back from me like I'd slapped her. "What? No, Dean. No."
"I need you to help me find a ritual or something to get rid of everything I am. Body, Soul, all of it. I'll be damned if I turn into one of those things and try to crawl my way up from hell eventually. Jo, please."
Her eyes water and she slaps me hard across the face. I winced but at least it wasn't a punch, she usually clips my jaw and my lip likes to split down the middle. So you know, I got off lucky.
Sam knocked, entered and stared. "Did I interrupt something?" He asked lightly with a raised brow.
My cheek stung but I shook my head, "Nah, we were just playing a kinky sex game."
Sam snorted, Jo glared and I got up and pulled on my jacket, "Come on, we need to be in Dallas by tomorrow."
Muse | Dean Winchester
Fandom | Supernatural
Word Count | 833
- Isabella Swan (Stephanie Meyer's Twilight)
"I'm not just going to sit back and let you die," she said and it was like a broken record between her and Sam and honestly he's just damn tired of hearing that defeat in their voice. He's not really ready to die and become one of the bastard demons he lives to hunt but what can he do? He doesn't particularly want to leave Sammy alone with that bitch Ruby and he damn well doesn't want to leave Jo but what can he do?
He's dying for his brother and he'd die for Jo but they can't seem to see it as all that noble and he thinks he should be getting more credit than being called a jerk and getting his balls handed to him in a jar by his girlfriend. Of course she's gonna do that whether he lives or dies so he should get used to it and he knows that.
"Look," he starts meeting her eyes. "I love you and I think I probably always have. I'm not good at this stuff but if there is one thing in the world I can do - I could do for Sammy it was this and I need both of you to just let it go. I need you to take care of each other when I'm gone."
"I hate you," she says but she clearly doesn't mean it and her eyes shine.
"No you don't. Jo, can't you just understand. If you could have saved your dad wouldn't you have done anything?" I asked her.
Her eyes flashed in what I'd come to learn was her angry look. Not her pissy look or her annoyed look (my girl's got a damn lot of looks) but her angry look. Her I'm going to castrate you with a spoon and feed them to you until you scream look.
"Don't even ..." she says too angry to finish the sentence.
I sighed and pulled her to me by her belt loops. I pressed my cheek against her stomach and closed my eyes. "I did the only thing I could Jo and I can't keep apologizing for it. He's my brother and ..."
"I know Sam comes first, Sam will always come first," she says and she's only a little bit angry about that fact.
"No," I shook my head. "Well yeah," I amended, "But that doesn't mean you don't come first too."
There's that annoyed look. "I just can't win. Jo, come on."
She sighed this time and ran her hand through my hair. I closed my eyes and felt her fingertips along my scalp. I don't know how I can give this up, I don't know how I can let myself be sucked down to hell and leave her here alone. I don't mean to sound particularly smug but she's going to be a wreck and I don't know if Sammy's gonna be any better off to help her through it. They need to lean on each other (but not hook up dammit) when I'm gone.
"I need you to do something for me," I said carefully.
I looked up at her and her hands framed my head. I wanted to lean into her, fall into her and get lost and not have to think about demons and darkness and what I might become. Or would become, inevitably. She just looked at me expectantly, fear clouding her beautiful eyes. I had no idea how she put up with me or when exactly I'd fallen under her spell. Sam liked to make whip noises when he thought I wasn't paying attention and okay, so maybe I was a little whipped but you know what? I've only got a few months to live so I just don't care.
"When it happens. I need you to destroy me, completely," I said and I already saw her reaction.
She pulled back from me like I'd slapped her. "What? No, Dean. No."
"I need you to help me find a ritual or something to get rid of everything I am. Body, Soul, all of it. I'll be damned if I turn into one of those things and try to crawl my way up from hell eventually. Jo, please."
Her eyes water and she slaps me hard across the face. I winced but at least it wasn't a punch, she usually clips my jaw and my lip likes to split down the middle. So you know, I got off lucky.
Sam knocked, entered and stared. "Did I interrupt something?" He asked lightly with a raised brow.
My cheek stung but I shook my head, "Nah, we were just playing a kinky sex game."
Sam snorted, Jo glared and I got up and pulled on my jacket, "Come on, we need to be in Dallas by tomorrow."
Muse | Dean Winchester
Fandom | Supernatural
Word Count | 833