so testosterone boys and harlequin girls [dance to this beat and hold a lover close]
I groan as I slowly wake up, we never closed the heavy curtain the night before and it was really damn bright in the room. I pulled a pillow over my head before I heard the buzzing of my cell phone on the table. Then I remembered the night before, the girl on the cieling and Buffy. Who, I found as I turned my head to look at the otherside of the bed, was not there. I sat up and looked around the room, she was laying on the floor with just a pillow. What the fuck? There's a whole other side of the bed here, wasn't like I was going to cop a feel in the middle of the night.
I might think about it but I wasn't going to do it.
And then I noticed her face, she was turned away from the window so the light wasn't shinning in her eyes. She had dark circles that only came from a night of crying silently. Sure I never really had to deal with a girl crying all night but Sam was as close to a girl as I was gonna get as far as dealing with stuff like this. And I'd dealt with a lot of emotional shit with Sam.
Dammit.
The woman lost her sister yesterday and I couldn't just what? What exactly did one do in situations like that? Offer a shoulder to cry on? Let her reminise and wax poetic about some chick I didn't even know? I'm not that guy and I'm never going to be that guy. I don't know how to be that guy. Fuck. Where is Sam when you need him? He was the sensitive one, he could have her smiling and dealing with it in an hour tops.
The thought of Sam brought me back to the phone. I thought about trying to pick her up and put her in the bed but I figured if she woke up she'd probably hurt me and my back was still hurting from the day before. So I quietly got up and grabbed my phone. There was just a text message from Sam.
'We're fine. Moving on. Dad says keep the slayer around. Bad Haunting in New Orleans, check it out. Stay safe.'
I just stared at the message. What? They were headed somewhere else? I can get that, fine. But go to Lousianna instead of meeting up? Not even telling me where they were going? Probably cause they knew I'd just follow them anyway. We were playing this game again. It wasn't like I'd never been hunting on my own (not that I was alone at the moment) but we were talking about the demon. We were a family and we were stronger as a family. Damn them both, it wasn't like I could ignore an order, well I could but then with the Haunting and I'd feel responsible and there's already enough of that going around. Dammit. And there was Buffy to deal with too, she wanted to know more and I had nothing to give her. Dad knew about the demon, Sam and I just recently learned that it was actually a demon.
This was not what was suppose to happen.
I decided I needed to get out of the tiny room and get some coffee so I left as quietly as possible and walked the small distance to the diner that was across the high way from the hotel. I ordered a cup of coffee and some eggs and bacon and sat there. I called Sam's phone - no answer perfect.
"Sammy," I said in what could be called my unhappy voice. "New Orleans? Where are you and Dad headed? Do not play this with me. You remember how goddamn frustrating it was the past six months wondering if Dad was dead or alive. We're suppose to be hunting this thing together. We're a family and now I've got a tag along who could probably break me with her pinky if what she says is true and you know what I am not this family's bitch boy."
I hung up and earned a look from the waitress who was setting down my food in front of me. I tried to pull off a charming smile but I'm sure it fell short when she snorted and moved away to another table.
I ate in silence, just hoping for a bright idea or a call back.
When my waitress returned I smiled, "Could I get a cup of coffee and a couple of muffin's to go please?"
She just rolled her eyes and walked away, it was a few minutes later when I managed to pay, breakfest for Buffy in hand - hoped she liked muffins - and I headed back across the street. I slipped into the room and set down the coffee and bag of muffins with some cream and sugar to boot. I'd obviously made a little too much noise because she was stirring.
That floor did not look comfortable but I wasn't about to apologize. She choose to sleep there and yeah I could have been more sensitive but what the hell did it take to just lay down on the otherside of the bed? I mean really?
"I'm going to shower," I said while picking up my bag and leaving my cell on the bed, "There's a couple of muffins from the diner across the street in that bag and some hot coffee."
That was the best apology I could give her and hopefully she'd accept it. I didn't wait for a response just walked into the bathroom and pulled off my shirt and jeans, I'd been too exhausted to even change or take them off the night before and they smelled vaugely of ash. I got into the shower and tried to wash the previous day away. Wash away the anger that was welling up at Sam and Dad.
I mean I'd given this family everything. My life, my future. I'd always been the peace keeper between those too and what did I get in return? I burned bones, got kidnapped by Wendigo's, saved damsels, ended up covered in sewer and I did it all with a smile and yeah sure sometimes also a sarcastic remark but nonetheless I did it all without complaining since I was a kid. And they just run off and expect me to follow orders? Yeah, I've done that my whole life. I do what Dad says, no questions asked but this is different. This is the thing that killed mom. Maybe I didn't let that vendetta consume every waking moment of my life but I wanted the thing dead as much as they did. I didn't have that blind drive and it freaked me out that they might find it, neither of them would think twice about sacrificing themselves to kill the thing and maybe I was selfish but I wanted my family to make it through this fight. Neither of them cared if they did just as long as the demon went down with them - and that's fucking terrifying.
I pushed the thoughts away as I washed the soap from my body and turned off the shower. I stared at myself in the mirror and decided to forgo shaving for another day. Stuble worked for me.
I got dressed in my usual gear, jeans, biker boots, black t-shirt and then headed out into the room.
She was at the table picking at a muffin but I didn't say anything, I just dropped my bag on the floor and picked up my cell to put it in my pocket. I had another text message from Sam. Just coordinates. Goddamnit. To the exact place in New Orleans no doubt.
"Son of a bitch," I muttered and sighed, sitting down on the bed.
I might think about it but I wasn't going to do it.
And then I noticed her face, she was turned away from the window so the light wasn't shinning in her eyes. She had dark circles that only came from a night of crying silently. Sure I never really had to deal with a girl crying all night but Sam was as close to a girl as I was gonna get as far as dealing with stuff like this. And I'd dealt with a lot of emotional shit with Sam.
Dammit.
The woman lost her sister yesterday and I couldn't just what? What exactly did one do in situations like that? Offer a shoulder to cry on? Let her reminise and wax poetic about some chick I didn't even know? I'm not that guy and I'm never going to be that guy. I don't know how to be that guy. Fuck. Where is Sam when you need him? He was the sensitive one, he could have her smiling and dealing with it in an hour tops.
The thought of Sam brought me back to the phone. I thought about trying to pick her up and put her in the bed but I figured if she woke up she'd probably hurt me and my back was still hurting from the day before. So I quietly got up and grabbed my phone. There was just a text message from Sam.
'We're fine. Moving on. Dad says keep the slayer around. Bad Haunting in New Orleans, check it out. Stay safe.'
I just stared at the message. What? They were headed somewhere else? I can get that, fine. But go to Lousianna instead of meeting up? Not even telling me where they were going? Probably cause they knew I'd just follow them anyway. We were playing this game again. It wasn't like I'd never been hunting on my own (not that I was alone at the moment) but we were talking about the demon. We were a family and we were stronger as a family. Damn them both, it wasn't like I could ignore an order, well I could but then with the Haunting and I'd feel responsible and there's already enough of that going around. Dammit. And there was Buffy to deal with too, she wanted to know more and I had nothing to give her. Dad knew about the demon, Sam and I just recently learned that it was actually a demon.
This was not what was suppose to happen.
I decided I needed to get out of the tiny room and get some coffee so I left as quietly as possible and walked the small distance to the diner that was across the high way from the hotel. I ordered a cup of coffee and some eggs and bacon and sat there. I called Sam's phone - no answer perfect.
"Sammy," I said in what could be called my unhappy voice. "New Orleans? Where are you and Dad headed? Do not play this with me. You remember how goddamn frustrating it was the past six months wondering if Dad was dead or alive. We're suppose to be hunting this thing together. We're a family and now I've got a tag along who could probably break me with her pinky if what she says is true and you know what I am not this family's bitch boy."
I hung up and earned a look from the waitress who was setting down my food in front of me. I tried to pull off a charming smile but I'm sure it fell short when she snorted and moved away to another table.
I ate in silence, just hoping for a bright idea or a call back.
When my waitress returned I smiled, "Could I get a cup of coffee and a couple of muffin's to go please?"
She just rolled her eyes and walked away, it was a few minutes later when I managed to pay, breakfest for Buffy in hand - hoped she liked muffins - and I headed back across the street. I slipped into the room and set down the coffee and bag of muffins with some cream and sugar to boot. I'd obviously made a little too much noise because she was stirring.
That floor did not look comfortable but I wasn't about to apologize. She choose to sleep there and yeah I could have been more sensitive but what the hell did it take to just lay down on the otherside of the bed? I mean really?
"I'm going to shower," I said while picking up my bag and leaving my cell on the bed, "There's a couple of muffins from the diner across the street in that bag and some hot coffee."
That was the best apology I could give her and hopefully she'd accept it. I didn't wait for a response just walked into the bathroom and pulled off my shirt and jeans, I'd been too exhausted to even change or take them off the night before and they smelled vaugely of ash. I got into the shower and tried to wash the previous day away. Wash away the anger that was welling up at Sam and Dad.
I mean I'd given this family everything. My life, my future. I'd always been the peace keeper between those too and what did I get in return? I burned bones, got kidnapped by Wendigo's, saved damsels, ended up covered in sewer and I did it all with a smile and yeah sure sometimes also a sarcastic remark but nonetheless I did it all without complaining since I was a kid. And they just run off and expect me to follow orders? Yeah, I've done that my whole life. I do what Dad says, no questions asked but this is different. This is the thing that killed mom. Maybe I didn't let that vendetta consume every waking moment of my life but I wanted the thing dead as much as they did. I didn't have that blind drive and it freaked me out that they might find it, neither of them would think twice about sacrificing themselves to kill the thing and maybe I was selfish but I wanted my family to make it through this fight. Neither of them cared if they did just as long as the demon went down with them - and that's fucking terrifying.
I pushed the thoughts away as I washed the soap from my body and turned off the shower. I stared at myself in the mirror and decided to forgo shaving for another day. Stuble worked for me.
I got dressed in my usual gear, jeans, biker boots, black t-shirt and then headed out into the room.
She was at the table picking at a muffin but I didn't say anything, I just dropped my bag on the floor and picked up my cell to put it in my pocket. I had another text message from Sam. Just coordinates. Goddamnit. To the exact place in New Orleans no doubt.
"Son of a bitch," I muttered and sighed, sitting down on the bed.