(no subject)
Even after all this time, I'm still waiting for them to come back. It may not be best for me, but I can't help it, I believe they can change yet I know that they can't. :/ I want whats best for me but my heart wants something totally different. As friends I sit there and look at him then find out that I have the biggest smile on my face. We're good as friends but I want more. I knew that if we were to get away everything would be so much better. But it won't ever happen... There will always be that emptiness inside him that isn't filled, and he tries to look for more love... That love will never be filled by anyone else but his father and he can't see that. I believe that if they would have had their love together, he wouldn't be this way, always out there looking for more than what he needs. Maybe I'm just crazy? Maybe I just need him and miss him.. Or maybe I just want him to stop doing that to people. But It's been done to me and it feels good to be wanted after being broken up.. But its all the wrong way.
-I think mcyd's is cutting down my hours.. Hmm.. maybe cause I walked out? Oh well, I did something wrong, I guess I have to pay the price yet now I will never have any money!!! :/ This sucks I need a new job but I love working there, it's my home, it's where I feel comfortble at. Everyone that I love is there, I get along with everyone, I see my mom come home from there and shes bitches about Janet and other people do too.. yet I can sit there and talk to her for hours along with everyone else, There's only one person I believe I have to work on there and it's Diana.. but she really doesn't belong there, She does yet she doesn't. It's crazy. I don't know what to do.. I need more money.. I need to get away from drama, but I love the drama, Nicole and I have realized that if there wasn't any drama, we all wouldn't be such good friends, and always there for one another. :/
- School sucks! I have Kris, that's all and it's great to walk down the halls with her and having people look at us then talk shit. Then have people ask are you guys together. And we are.. But were not.. Were always there for one another but its non sexual.. I love it.. I love her. Shes the greatest person I know. I couldn't imagne my life without her. Then theres this kid.. but fuck him.. I want to kill him, just like he killed me.
- Drama... hmm Elliott.. needs to get away from Sarah, I love her and all but damn, the things I have found out.. ahh it drives me crazy cause I care for Elliott because were there for one another yet we hate each other. All lies.. all fucking lies I hate it.
I need to move but I can't, I'm attached to this place. I love it. I love the people. They make me feel like shit but others make me feel so needed even if they are on drugs and leave me the next night.
Off to mcyd's to switch hours with Linz :) <~~~ damn it, I miss working with her.
-I think mcyd's is cutting down my hours.. Hmm.. maybe cause I walked out? Oh well, I did something wrong, I guess I have to pay the price yet now I will never have any money!!! :/ This sucks I need a new job but I love working there, it's my home, it's where I feel comfortble at. Everyone that I love is there, I get along with everyone, I see my mom come home from there and shes bitches about Janet and other people do too.. yet I can sit there and talk to her for hours along with everyone else, There's only one person I believe I have to work on there and it's Diana.. but she really doesn't belong there, She does yet she doesn't. It's crazy. I don't know what to do.. I need more money.. I need to get away from drama, but I love the drama, Nicole and I have realized that if there wasn't any drama, we all wouldn't be such good friends, and always there for one another. :/
- School sucks! I have Kris, that's all and it's great to walk down the halls with her and having people look at us then talk shit. Then have people ask are you guys together. And we are.. But were not.. Were always there for one another but its non sexual.. I love it.. I love her. Shes the greatest person I know. I couldn't imagne my life without her. Then theres this kid.. but fuck him.. I want to kill him, just like he killed me.
- Drama... hmm Elliott.. needs to get away from Sarah, I love her and all but damn, the things I have found out.. ahh it drives me crazy cause I care for Elliott because were there for one another yet we hate each other. All lies.. all fucking lies I hate it.
I need to move but I can't, I'm attached to this place. I love it. I love the people. They make me feel like shit but others make me feel so needed even if they are on drugs and leave me the next night.
Off to mcyd's to switch hours with Linz :) <~~~ damn it, I miss working with her.