It's been a while...
And lately, I'm finding that the emotion found in a few posts back (about a year or so ago) has been creeping back into my thoughts. What if I was different? What if I was more of a girlie-girl? Should I be more of a girlie-girl? It's been haunting me...should I change who I am? More like, should I change what I do to fit the idea of what I should be? I used to think that maybe I was different...maybe I broke the mold...I'm beginning to find that perhaps I was naive in thinking that. I was happy...4 years of gaming in a club that was WONDERFUL and brought me friends (more like family) that I could never imagine being without...but it's made me "one of the guys". I thought that would make me happy...lord knows it made me happy...but,I mean, one night, I had someone tell me that "everyone agreed...you're one of the only girls we know that can truly just hang with the guys." I wanted to take it as a compliment, but in truth it kind of stung..."one of the guys" was all I could think. I'm certain my whole perspective will change within days, maybe hours even, but right now...it's on my mind.