1, 2, 3...
ok, i have a few things that i need to say!
part 1
First, that i turned 20 a few years ago!! how awesome! I had an amazing birthday, but i think the part at work was the best part, and i will never forget it. Mrs. Kathy decided that she wanted to formally bless me and have the staff pray over me. Sort of like a jewish barmitzfah, except for a girl. I forgot the name, but it means to bless and prosper.
it was truly an amazing experience! I had been praying that God would speak to me, and i believe he did. He prescence was very overwhelming when they prayer and anointed my head with oil. I cried...which i really dont do that much when it comes to stuff like that.
They gave me this book of sayings from everyone from the staff, and it was such a blessing.
I felt like God gave me something so special that day..like he gave me a secret that i dont know about yet...it was and still is an odd feeling, but i feel very secure in it.
The truth is, that He revealed to me that He wants to do something with my life that i cant even imagine, something so big, that i cant even comprehend it. And honestly, it is kind of a very scarey thought, it is going to require a lot of growing and experience. This week i realized that God has so much more than music and worship leading in mind for me...which is pretty much insane because for the longest time i thought that is what i would just focus on...
A few weeks before...pastor terrys mom came to minister to the people on a wednesday night. when it was my turn for her to pray over me, she came and whispered in my ear "that i would preach the gospel and do many signs and wonders in his name"..in paraphrased form. Yeah..dont really know what to think about that! but..i am trusting in God.
part 2
The situation with cole really has been a difficult issue. It has kind of forced me to step back and leave him alone, sort of in a way. It is hard, because of course, i have developed a strong friendship with him, and an emotional attachment to him as well. Like-my heart aches for him...just from all of the things he has told me he has been through, it just burdens my heart so much. Sometimes i wish i could just grab his very heart and mend it back together my love, to show him that he isnt alone, that God loves him. But yeah, of course, it naturally cant work like that. And i have found that i am mildly attracted to him..which makes things worse. And i am not really sure why, i guess because he really is a smart and intelligent heart, but he doesnt see it. it is a complicated feeling which i repent and pray about on a daily basis.
So, now i am torn because i presented everything i could to him, and he still have rejected it. which breaks my heart, but i pray literally everyday, that God would speak to him, in GODS way, not mine. Because the truth is, i am not God, and i cannot BE God. God has to do his thing...and i am praying that i can past this test, because i like being in control. I want to be obedient, and if being obedient means that Cole will come to the Lord, i have to and am willing to. I do pray for strength, because i am indeed weak, weaker that most people, and i know that God made me that way for a reason.
I am looking forward to seeing when this miracle is going to take place. It may not be for a while, but there is a reason why God told me to tell him the gospel. Now i have to let God do what He needs to do. I pray that Gods grace would be on our friendship and that God would cover it and protect it while God ministers to him. YES, God please. I care about him so much.
thank you God for everything, for bringing me through the hardest of times, from bringing me out of depression, for showing me how much worth i am in your eyes. Please show that to cole.
This victory has already been won, because Your spirit in stronger than the spirit of this world, and i rejoice in you because of that.
Part 3
Just a thought about my future husband. Wondering who he will be, what he looks like, what he does. I know our meeting will be supernatural and all God. Recently, Laura told me and reminded me that my 6 month no boyfriend thing passed, which is really funny because i actually forgot about it. The only thing bad about that awesome sacrifice is that i pretty much failed at it. I tried to get into a relationship with this one guy, or atleast get to know him better...which kind of defeats the whole purpose. I felt and feel pretty bad about it, really. But i pray that it was my intention that God sees. Because i really want to be obedient and i want to have my heart right before God before i meet my husband.
Keep him safe Lord. :)
part 1
First, that i turned 20 a few years ago!! how awesome! I had an amazing birthday, but i think the part at work was the best part, and i will never forget it. Mrs. Kathy decided that she wanted to formally bless me and have the staff pray over me. Sort of like a jewish barmitzfah, except for a girl. I forgot the name, but it means to bless and prosper.
it was truly an amazing experience! I had been praying that God would speak to me, and i believe he did. He prescence was very overwhelming when they prayer and anointed my head with oil. I cried...which i really dont do that much when it comes to stuff like that.
They gave me this book of sayings from everyone from the staff, and it was such a blessing.
I felt like God gave me something so special that day..like he gave me a secret that i dont know about yet...it was and still is an odd feeling, but i feel very secure in it.
The truth is, that He revealed to me that He wants to do something with my life that i cant even imagine, something so big, that i cant even comprehend it. And honestly, it is kind of a very scarey thought, it is going to require a lot of growing and experience. This week i realized that God has so much more than music and worship leading in mind for me...which is pretty much insane because for the longest time i thought that is what i would just focus on...
A few weeks before...pastor terrys mom came to minister to the people on a wednesday night. when it was my turn for her to pray over me, she came and whispered in my ear "that i would preach the gospel and do many signs and wonders in his name"..in paraphrased form. Yeah..dont really know what to think about that! but..i am trusting in God.
part 2
The situation with cole really has been a difficult issue. It has kind of forced me to step back and leave him alone, sort of in a way. It is hard, because of course, i have developed a strong friendship with him, and an emotional attachment to him as well. Like-my heart aches for him...just from all of the things he has told me he has been through, it just burdens my heart so much. Sometimes i wish i could just grab his very heart and mend it back together my love, to show him that he isnt alone, that God loves him. But yeah, of course, it naturally cant work like that. And i have found that i am mildly attracted to him..which makes things worse. And i am not really sure why, i guess because he really is a smart and intelligent heart, but he doesnt see it. it is a complicated feeling which i repent and pray about on a daily basis.
So, now i am torn because i presented everything i could to him, and he still have rejected it. which breaks my heart, but i pray literally everyday, that God would speak to him, in GODS way, not mine. Because the truth is, i am not God, and i cannot BE God. God has to do his thing...and i am praying that i can past this test, because i like being in control. I want to be obedient, and if being obedient means that Cole will come to the Lord, i have to and am willing to. I do pray for strength, because i am indeed weak, weaker that most people, and i know that God made me that way for a reason.
I am looking forward to seeing when this miracle is going to take place. It may not be for a while, but there is a reason why God told me to tell him the gospel. Now i have to let God do what He needs to do. I pray that Gods grace would be on our friendship and that God would cover it and protect it while God ministers to him. YES, God please. I care about him so much.
thank you God for everything, for bringing me through the hardest of times, from bringing me out of depression, for showing me how much worth i am in your eyes. Please show that to cole.
This victory has already been won, because Your spirit in stronger than the spirit of this world, and i rejoice in you because of that.
Part 3
Just a thought about my future husband. Wondering who he will be, what he looks like, what he does. I know our meeting will be supernatural and all God. Recently, Laura told me and reminded me that my 6 month no boyfriend thing passed, which is really funny because i actually forgot about it. The only thing bad about that awesome sacrifice is that i pretty much failed at it. I tried to get into a relationship with this one guy, or atleast get to know him better...which kind of defeats the whole purpose. I felt and feel pretty bad about it, really. But i pray that it was my intention that God sees. Because i really want to be obedient and i want to have my heart right before God before i meet my husband.
Keep him safe Lord. :)