(no subject)
i guess i owe an update.
the first question is, why do sappy martial arts movies turn me on? ...and yeah, that's a real question. not just a wonder, an actual question. so uhh where's my answer?
my heart wrenching concerns about my brother have been mostly allayed for the time being.
recently, i thought i might just have to completely change course with my job/work/home situation. thankfully that is also temporarily allayed. it's better, but i wonder how much is in my head and my over sensitive reactions, and how much is really there just beneath a calm surface. i would love for this to be my true 'calling' or path or whatever, but i'm bad at sacrificing beyond a point and i really dislike personal conflict so... beyond whether it makes me feel worthwhile and appreciated, there is little else keeping me onboard any ship. some speak of movements, but i believe movements happen in a million plus different ways, and nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come, and if the time for the idea has not yet come, then you are just part of the potential energy and that doesn't have to be a 24/7 thing. maybe.
brandy sent me mail today and i haven't even had time to read it. i bought a pretty bottle of white wine this evening and have no one to drink it with. even though i thought i had tried. i also bought some righteous buddha tunes and dr.john today.
ohh and recently i had a dentist appt. why do i love everything about a dentist appt except the cost?
this week should be interesting. maybe thursday evening i am out of here?
tunica hills with jess, bryan, kayla and river was nice. i want to go across the ferry in st.francisville. any takers? imagine crossing the mississippi river at water level!!! i am pretty sure that all i have ever done is drive across it in cars over really huge bridges. and lately as i've done that, i have definitely wanted to know the river better. i know a lot of facts and figures about it and even history, but it's so boxed in and kept out of site by our levees and so left to industry to use and abuse as they wish. and we owe so much of the beauty and resourcefullness of our land to this river, i'd just like to be out in it for once.
so i'm tired, somewhat bored, sleepy and a little lonely. but that may be okay. the heater is working now and my place should be warm.
also, here's a call for some minor house help. i need to make a base for my table top so i can have a kitchen table. i have lots of pallets for wood. and i need someone to help me pick up my toilet and fix the toilet bowl gasket so it won't leak anymore. i think that's all. umm, i can trade babysitting, pet sitting, six packs of abita beers or lunch at whole foods or whatever it takes.
love ya'll.
the first question is, why do sappy martial arts movies turn me on? ...and yeah, that's a real question. not just a wonder, an actual question. so uhh where's my answer?
my heart wrenching concerns about my brother have been mostly allayed for the time being.
recently, i thought i might just have to completely change course with my job/work/home situation. thankfully that is also temporarily allayed. it's better, but i wonder how much is in my head and my over sensitive reactions, and how much is really there just beneath a calm surface. i would love for this to be my true 'calling' or path or whatever, but i'm bad at sacrificing beyond a point and i really dislike personal conflict so... beyond whether it makes me feel worthwhile and appreciated, there is little else keeping me onboard any ship. some speak of movements, but i believe movements happen in a million plus different ways, and nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come, and if the time for the idea has not yet come, then you are just part of the potential energy and that doesn't have to be a 24/7 thing. maybe.
brandy sent me mail today and i haven't even had time to read it. i bought a pretty bottle of white wine this evening and have no one to drink it with. even though i thought i had tried. i also bought some righteous buddha tunes and dr.john today.
ohh and recently i had a dentist appt. why do i love everything about a dentist appt except the cost?
this week should be interesting. maybe thursday evening i am out of here?
tunica hills with jess, bryan, kayla and river was nice. i want to go across the ferry in st.francisville. any takers? imagine crossing the mississippi river at water level!!! i am pretty sure that all i have ever done is drive across it in cars over really huge bridges. and lately as i've done that, i have definitely wanted to know the river better. i know a lot of facts and figures about it and even history, but it's so boxed in and kept out of site by our levees and so left to industry to use and abuse as they wish. and we owe so much of the beauty and resourcefullness of our land to this river, i'd just like to be out in it for once.
so i'm tired, somewhat bored, sleepy and a little lonely. but that may be okay. the heater is working now and my place should be warm.
also, here's a call for some minor house help. i need to make a base for my table top so i can have a kitchen table. i have lots of pallets for wood. and i need someone to help me pick up my toilet and fix the toilet bowl gasket so it won't leak anymore. i think that's all. umm, i can trade babysitting, pet sitting, six packs of abita beers or lunch at whole foods or whatever it takes.
love ya'll.