In which Lauren and I extensively discuss CKR and time machines...
I thought I'd enclose a little transcription of a few g-chats between my friend Lauren and myself. They may (or may not) amuse.
Lauren: So I was thinking today about what it would be like to make out with CKR...
Me: What else is new?
Lauren: Oh shut up, it's not like you don't do it too. Anyways, I was thinking that he would be sort of languid and relaxed (almost amused) whereas Hugh would be frenzied and almost aggressive, and Paul would be...well...PAUL.
Me: I feel highly uncomfortable having this conversation with you as all three of them are more than twice our age.
Lauren: Oh shut up and get off your moral high horse. You're telling me that if one of them offered you would refuse?
Me: THAT'S something else entirely. No comment.
Lauren: *smirk* I thought so. Besides, we're legal.
Me: You know, that's something I really don't get. Why can you have sex with a nineteen year old when you're eighteen but not when you're seventeen?
Lauren: Dunno. Law's stupid, I guess.
Me: They should change it to where there has to be a certain age range between the pair. Like, sixteen+ and then ten years max or something.
Lauren: But that would stop people like us from creeping on men who are half a century old.
Me: You've got a good point there.
Lauren: Like we could ever get them anyways. They're just too pretty.
Me: *sigh* I knowwwwwwwwwwwww. But speak for yourself.
Lauren: Sorry. How's that RPF coming? *snicker*
Me: *groan* OMG. I almost wrote a sex scene but then I died of embarrassment and removed it.
Lauren: Hee! You could keep it as a "deleted scene" and then just send it to me....
Me: Probs not. It's embarrassing enough that I'm even WRITING rpf. It's like the elephant in my fanfiction room.
Lauren: But RPF is the stuff of life!
Me: And I have ridiculous amounts of respect and admiration for its writers, but I just can't bring myself to do it in its entirety.
Lauren: Understandable. Who knows what CKR would say if he found out you were ferreting around in his life.
Me: *facepalm* I would die of shame.
Lauren: I think he'd fall in love with you though after he got over it hehehehe.
Me: You've now sent me into a fit of wistful day dreaming. Thanks.
Lauren: I'm so serious. He would LOOOVEEEEE you. You look just like him. Other than the fact that you are, well, female and long haired.
Me: I really hope that was a compliment.
Lauren: *pets* don't worry. It was. But I'm serious.
Me: If only I could take a time machine back to like, 1980 when he was just a pretty young man of twenty...or even 1990 when he was THIRTY. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE FIFTY, LAUREN??? IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. *sulks*
Lauren: *hugs you*. Don't worry. Some time soon they will event time machines and this will happen.
Me: But then I'd have to spend the entire HCL shoot dragging him away from Hugh.
Lauren: GOD why would you want too??
Me: Good point. It would be rather selfish of me to take him away from Hugh.
Lauren: *nods* they are sort of...set in stone, those two.
Me: I just want to hug both of them until they pass out from air deprivation.
Lauren: Creep.
Me: Yeah, well. Like you don't want to EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM TOGETHER.
Lauren: *sigh* trueeeeeeeee. I may have to join you on this time machine thing. You can grab Cal, I'll take Hugh. Although I think I'll have to go a bit later than 1980 because he'll be a bit too young for me, and who wants that? The point is to even out the age difference.
Me: You know if we were like, twenty-five even this really wouldn't be such an issue. I don't know why, but it just seems less...wrong, even though it's really not that much of a difference.
Lauren: You know, it's funny how that works. I know when I was sixteen, I felt way less closer to getting into Orlando Bloom's pants than I did when I was seventeen.
Me: I love you.
Lauren: *hugs* It will happen. Time machines.
Me: What year should we go back to, though?
Lauren: I'm thinkin maybe '85.
Me: Yeah...that could work. Guhhh.
Lauren: You know something, M?
Me: What?
Lauren: We may quite possibly be the biggest creeps in this fandom.
Me: Probably.
Hehehehhee so there you have it. The sad thing is that we have conversations like this probably every day. But yeah, that's our friendship for you.
Lauren: So I was thinking today about what it would be like to make out with CKR...
Me: What else is new?
Lauren: Oh shut up, it's not like you don't do it too. Anyways, I was thinking that he would be sort of languid and relaxed (almost amused) whereas Hugh would be frenzied and almost aggressive, and Paul would be...well...PAUL.
Me: I feel highly uncomfortable having this conversation with you as all three of them are more than twice our age.
Lauren: Oh shut up and get off your moral high horse. You're telling me that if one of them offered you would refuse?
Me: THAT'S something else entirely. No comment.
Lauren: *smirk* I thought so. Besides, we're legal.
Me: You know, that's something I really don't get. Why can you have sex with a nineteen year old when you're eighteen but not when you're seventeen?
Lauren: Dunno. Law's stupid, I guess.
Me: They should change it to where there has to be a certain age range between the pair. Like, sixteen+ and then ten years max or something.
Lauren: But that would stop people like us from creeping on men who are half a century old.
Me: You've got a good point there.
Lauren: Like we could ever get them anyways. They're just too pretty.
Me: *sigh* I knowwwwwwwwwwwww. But speak for yourself.
Lauren: Sorry. How's that RPF coming? *snicker*
Me: *groan* OMG. I almost wrote a sex scene but then I died of embarrassment and removed it.
Lauren: Hee! You could keep it as a "deleted scene" and then just send it to me....
Me: Probs not. It's embarrassing enough that I'm even WRITING rpf. It's like the elephant in my fanfiction room.
Lauren: But RPF is the stuff of life!
Me: And I have ridiculous amounts of respect and admiration for its writers, but I just can't bring myself to do it in its entirety.
Lauren: Understandable. Who knows what CKR would say if he found out you were ferreting around in his life.
Me: *facepalm* I would die of shame.
Lauren: I think he'd fall in love with you though after he got over it hehehehe.
Me: You've now sent me into a fit of wistful day dreaming. Thanks.
Lauren: I'm so serious. He would LOOOVEEEEE you. You look just like him. Other than the fact that you are, well, female and long haired.
Me: I really hope that was a compliment.
Lauren: *pets* don't worry. It was. But I'm serious.
Me: If only I could take a time machine back to like, 1980 when he was just a pretty young man of twenty...or even 1990 when he was THIRTY. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE FIFTY, LAUREN??? IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. *sulks*
Lauren: *hugs you*. Don't worry. Some time soon they will event time machines and this will happen.
Me: But then I'd have to spend the entire HCL shoot dragging him away from Hugh.
Lauren: GOD why would you want too??
Me: Good point. It would be rather selfish of me to take him away from Hugh.
Lauren: *nods* they are sort of...set in stone, those two.
Me: I just want to hug both of them until they pass out from air deprivation.
Lauren: Creep.
Me: Yeah, well. Like you don't want to EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM TOGETHER.
Lauren: *sigh* trueeeeeeeee. I may have to join you on this time machine thing. You can grab Cal, I'll take Hugh. Although I think I'll have to go a bit later than 1980 because he'll be a bit too young for me, and who wants that? The point is to even out the age difference.
Me: You know if we were like, twenty-five even this really wouldn't be such an issue. I don't know why, but it just seems less...wrong, even though it's really not that much of a difference.
Lauren: You know, it's funny how that works. I know when I was sixteen, I felt way less closer to getting into Orlando Bloom's pants than I did when I was seventeen.
Me: I love you.
Lauren: *hugs* It will happen. Time machines.
Me: What year should we go back to, though?
Lauren: I'm thinkin maybe '85.
Me: Yeah...that could work. Guhhh.
Lauren: You know something, M?
Me: What?
Lauren: We may quite possibly be the biggest creeps in this fandom.
Me: Probably.
Hehehehhee so there you have it. The sad thing is that we have conversations like this probably every day. But yeah, that's our friendship for you.