Glee Fic : Three Wishes | Kurt/Blaine | 4/10 PG-13
Title : Three Wishes
Author : Jen
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : au!Blaine & au!moviestar!Kurt
Word count : ~5,100 / ~54,000
Spoilers : AU re-write of seasons one through three
Warnings : mentions of the events of that Sadie Hawkins dance
Summary : If Blaine Anderson found a magic lamp he'd only ask for two things. He'd wish for a place at NYADA when he graduates high school, and he'd wish that Kurt Hummel was his boyfriend. There were three problems with this. Firstly, competition for NYADA was insane. Secondly, Kurt Hummel didn't even know he existed. Movie stars tended to be like that about their fans. Thirdly, Blaine didn't have a magic lamp.
Based on a Tumblr gif set found here & here
As always I can be found on Tumblr when I should be doing other things.
(cover by the awesome Becky who puts up with me more than she probably should...)
<< Part 3
~~~
He tried, he honestly did. There were thousands of people moving and dancing and jumping about the place and so it would be easy to keep some kind of distance between them. There was no need, none whatsoever, for them to be any closer than personal space would allow. That was Blaine's plan and he had every intention of sticking to it.
Seemed the festival had other ideas.
Every person in the crowd seemed more intent in not pushing them apart but closer together. Every move, dance and jump seemed to knock them into one another; arms, hips, shoulders, and on one memorable occasion, a hand on an ass.
Accidentally of course.
"What's going on with you two?" Rachel asked when they were on a drinks run, away from the crowds and the noise.
"What?"
"You and Kurt."
"We're... friends."
"Sure you are," she mocked.
"We are!"
"You and Mike are friends and I don't remember seeing you grabbing his ass in the year you've known each other."
"Shut up," Blaine growled. "Four waters," he ordered as they got to the front of the line. "We are friends. End of."
"But you want it to be more?" Rachel asked.
Blaine ignored her, handing over the money and grabbing two of the bottles. He didn't wait, just left her to pick up the remaining ones and walked off.
"Blaine!" she called after him, grabbing the drinks only as an afterthought. "I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all," she said when she caught up with him.
"Who says I'm going to get hurt?"
"You're falling in love with a Hollywood actor," she pointed out, "what about this will end well?"
"I'm not-"
"I'm not blind," Rachel cut across him. "I don't know what happened last night-"
"Nothing happened," Blaine snapped, stopping in his tracks. "Let's be really clear about this. Mike snored so loudly I couldn't sleep. I was going to sleep in the car but I couldn't find the keys, Kurt just saved me from sleeping outside, that's all. We talked a bit but nothing happened and more importantly nothing is going to happen. We are friends, that's it, and I don't know how long that's going to last. So can you stop with the comments about... more?"
"I'm sorry, Blaine, it's just you've always been so... into him and now he's here and you two seemed so close-"
"Firstly, I had a crush on an actor I'd never met before and as you and Mike pointed out last night, he's not really that guy. Secondly, it is possible to be close to a guy and not want him like that. Even if he is gay-"
"And gorgeous and smart and funny and has just about everything in common with you and looks at you like he's..."
"Like what?" Blaine prompted.
"I told you - I don't want you to get hurt. What happens when Kurt's finished filming? When he goes back to LA or New York or wherever his next movie is being done? What happens when he gets back with us tomorrow and Mercedes stops him from having any contact with you because you 'kidnapped' him this weekend?"
"Looks at me like what?" Blaine repeated softly.
"Like you look at him," she said. "Please, don't do anything stupid."
"Since when have I ever?" he asked with a soft laugh. "Come on, before they die of dehydration or something."
*
The evening started to slip into night and exhausted from the day, Rachel and Mike were the first to yawn and make their excuses before climbing into their tents. Mike had assured Blaine that the sinus meds he'd gone into town that evening to buy would kick in and therefore he wasn't likely to keep him awake should he want to return to their tent.
"You got plans for this evening?" Blaine asked Kurt as they plated up their shared meal. "I mean, Mike's talking about this late set but..."
"You have other ideas?" Kurt asked.
"Only if you want. And if you trust me."
"Why do I need to trust you?" Kurt said, his voice light but with an undercurrent of... something.
"I promise it is nothing dangerous or career damaging."
"Good to know."
"I have my own last night ritual for this festival," Blaine said, "and if you wanted to join me..."
"I'd love to," Kurt smiled.
Blaine didn't make any moves to go anywhere after they'd finished eating. Kurt watched him out of the corner of his eye, looking for any hints or clues that would give him away. He sat there while Mike and Rachel cleared up, didn't move from his seat by the tent (their tent) while his friends got changed into more appropriate gear for the evening performances. He even smiled as they wished him a good night before heading off.
"Blaine..." Kurt began but was cut off by a smile.
"They don't know," he said. "I mean, they know I go off somewhere but they don't know where. Or why."
"Why?" Kurt asked. "If this is something important to you..."
"It is," Blaine said, "which is why I want to share it with you. If you still want to."
"...Yeah," Kurt said. "If you're sure."
"I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't."
"OK. So where are we going?"
"You'll see," Blaine smiled. "Bring something warm."
"This does not fill me with confidence," Kurt laughed.
"You told me last night that you trusted me. So if you trust me enough to tell me... everything, trust me on this."
"I do trust you, Blaine. Really. It's just... I'm not used to letting go. For years it's been all on me. Mercedes is great but it was my image and therefore I needed to be careful about where I went and who I was seen with and..."
"You don't have to come," Blaine said. "I'm not going to... push you into anything."
"You're not, I promise. Ignore me, OK? This is all new for me."
"What is?"
"Having... someone like you in my life."
"I don't understand."
"Doesn't matter," Kurt said. "OK, warm clothing," he said, grabbing his jacket. "So where are we going?"
"Magical mystery tour," Blaine smiled. "Come on." He held out his hand and smiled when Kurt slipped his into it.
*
They dropped hands quickly - this was still Ohio after all - and discussed trivial things on their walk. From makeovers to reality TV to their go-to songs in the shower, the conversation filled the time so much that Kurt hadn't realised they'd come off the main road and were walking down an access road.
"Where are we?" Kurt asked.
"Buckeye Lake," Blaine said as they rounded a corner.
"It's... stunning."
"It's usually packed out but when the festival's on most people are there. I came here last year almost by accident. We'd just lost Regionals and I felt really bad about things."
"Why? It wasn't as if it was your fault. Was it?" Kurt asked.
"I didn't screw up if that's what you mean," Blaine laughed. "Well, not like... I'd just arrived at McKinley and as soon as they heard how good I was they wanted me to take joint lead with Rachel. She wasn't happy but in the end majority ruled. It was... awkward. I guess it was hard to buy a great love song ballad when the two leads won't even look at each other?"
"This year was better though?"
"Nationals, here we come," Blaine grinned, "although the whole 'act like I'm into Rachel' thing is still a little weird. Especially since..."
"Since what?" Kurt prompted.
"Since... we dated. Once."
"You... dated? I thought you were-"
"Post Regionals pity party, drunken game of spin the bottle, one kiss, whole week of confusion which is never to be spoken of again, you hear?"
"Be a bit hypocritical of me," Kurt said, holding his hands up. "Before I transferred to Dalton I tried to... put out an image shall we say?"
"Why do we do that?" Blaine asked as they reached the edge of the lake. "Self sabotage? I always knew who I was, always."
"Me too," Kurt said, joining Blaine as he sat down on the ground, "but I guess we think - hope maybe? - that it will make life easier."
"But it doesn't."
"Benefits of hindsight."
"But we know it, instinctively, even then."
"I think that when you know something is... going to be hard, possibly the hardest thing you're going to have to deal with in your life, there's a part of us that wants to avoid it. A kind of self-preservation maybe?"
"So the trick is to not listen to that little voice?" Blaine asked.
"Depends what it's saying and why," Kurt replied. "Something like lying about who you are? Ignore it."
"What about something you want?"
"Depends on the something," Kurt said, turning his head to look at Blaine.
When Blaine caught Kurt's movement out of the corner of his eye he started to turn but was quickly distracted. "Is that...?" he started, pointing upwards.
The pair of them looked up at the short streak of light across the stars.
"I don't think it's a plane," Kurt said, "so we're about to wish on a shooting star or a UFO."
"Totally aliens," Blaine deadpanned. "Ohio is the most interesting place for them to come. Not for experiments, but vacations."
"What if it wasn't?" Kurt asked. "A UFO I mean. What would you wish for?"
"I can't tell you that, it won't come true."
"Ah, but you haven't made the wish have you? And if you were to make it in future I'd never know so really the rule doesn't apply."
"I've already made my wish," Blaine said.
"What?"
"Years ago. I made my wish so I can't tell you. What would you wish for?"
"Me?" Kurt asked. "I... I don't know."
"Hard to think of what you want when you have everything you need?"
"Hardly," Kurt said, looking down at the line where the water began. "I miss a lot of things I don't have now. My friends at Dalton, my biggest worry being a History assignment that I've not started two days before it's due in. Friday night dinners with my dad or arguing about what to watch on TV with Finn. Carole's hot chocolate and home-made cakes that Dad has to beg for a sliver of because it's full of sugars and fats. He won't touch the healthy ones we make, say they taste 'wrong'.
"I miss being able to go out in public and not having to be dressed like this," he said, gesturing to his clothes. "I mean, the high fashion stuff is part of who he is but it came from somewhere. I've not worn flannel in a really long time."
"You wore it before?" Blaine asked, his brain skipping a few coherent thoughts at that image.
"I'm eighteen years old and anyone I'd have called a friend before now graduates this summer. In return for losing the best part of two years of my life, gaining a legion of fans, making a huge difference in the perception of LGBT teens across the country and a bank balance most people would kill for, I lost my life. I lost everyone I ever cared about..."
"You didn't lose your family," Blaine said. "The way Finn was proves that."
"He's... protective," Kurt said. "He's going to play with Ohio State you know? He knows he's not NFL material but he is good. Reckons he can get into coaching maybe? That was the one of the better things of this life. He lost out on a scholarship but I can afford his college fees. He hates that I'm paying for him, swears he'll pay me back but we both know that he doesn't have to.
"I can't go home unless it's the holidays and everyone's busy with their own lives so I just send money and convince myself that it makes it all better. Dad and Carole don't have a mortgage anymore, they got the honeymoon they lost because they had my school fees to pay, and-"
"They know you still love them," Blaine interrupted, "and I bet they know that if you could be there you would be."
"That's why I had to shoot this movie here."
"I know."
"I miss them. God, Blaine, I miss this life. I miss... being me, even if some days I don't quite know who that is."
"Well if you forget then just ask," Blaine said, his voice low and meaningful. "I think I've got a pretty good idea who the real Kurt is."
"Yeah? He a good kid?"
"Yeah," Blaine all but whispered. "He's... amazing."
"He has no idea what he's doing," Kurt said, holding Blaine's gaze. "He's... stuck in this life he's not sure he wants anymore."
"I don't want anything you don't-" Blaine started, biting on his lip. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Not with me. And I... Tell me what you want."
"I..." Kurt began, then swallowed hard. "I want to finish high school. I want to tell people that I come from Ohio and that I have the best family anyone could ask for. I want to be able to go out without being followed by photographers and I want to be able to decide to do something without having to run it past anyone first.
"I want to be able to come out to music festivals without having to arrange a subterfuge the like of which is reserved for affairs and heists. I want to stop worrying about privacy and saying the right or wrong thing. I want to be able to sing without someone asking me when I'm releasing an album. I want to meet people and not wonder if they just want me for... him.
"I want to be eighteen years old, Blaine. I just want..."
"So be him," Blaine said.
"You make it sound so simple."
"It can be if you want it. There's this line from a movie that I love, that I think is just... a really good way to view life. Nothing we ever wanted turned up, rang the bell and said 'here I am'. You have to go out there and get it."
Kurt laughed. "So this is me, going out there and getting it. Getting you," he quoted.
"Who says I'm yours to get?"
"Who says you're not?" Kurt finished, closing the gap between them and then everything stopped.
Blaine held his breath, his gaze moving from Kurt's eyes to his lips, just briefly. Right there, and it would be so simple, so easy to just...
He could do it. He could lean in and kiss him. A moment that he had, on more than one occasion, dreamt about. Fantasised about. And it could only be one kiss but that would be enough. It would be a good first kiss - the kind of first kiss that people write songs about.
Kurt wasn't moving, wasn't pulling back. He was holding there, just the same as Blaine, watching the same.
"Blaine..." he said quietly.
"I don't want you to do anything you don't want..."
"I'm not going anywhere," Kurt said.
This was real. This was real and this was really happening. This was...
"Last one in runs home!"
The scream tore through the mood and the two boys pulled back, scrambling to their feet just in time to see the group of lads come racing down the access road. Not noticing - or caring - about Kurt and Blaine they stopped only to strip down to their underwear before diving in, splashing and cheering and mocking the slowest of their group.
Before they could be noticed they were on their feet and heading back to the campsite. Anticipation and desire still ran through their veins so they didn't dare say anything, just walked as fast as they could without breaking into a run, hands brushing against the other every now and then and re-sparking the mood.
Blaine was trying hard not to think about what awaited them back at the festival as they showed their wristbands to security. A night in a tent together, close and...
As they approached the first line of tents Kurt looked over, catching Blaine's eye. The grins were instant and Blaine reached out, wrapping his fingers around the couple of Kurt's that he could grab and was rewarded with the best squeeze that Kurt could give him.
This was really going to happen. This was every wish and prayer and dream that Blaine had ever had since that first movie came out two Falls ago.
They made their way through the tents, heading towards their pitch towards the back, and as they rounded the last tent they stopped dead, their hearts sinking.
"Absolute disaster," Rachel announced, standing in front of what used to be her tent. "It's all Mike's fault."
"It is not," he protested.
"You were the one who fell on it!"
"Because you pushed me!"
"I was scared!"
"Of a shadow!"
"I didn't know that at the time, did I? I just saw something and-"
"You thought it was some murderer or creature?"
"I can't deal with this," Rachel said. "Kurt, I'm sharing with you tonight."
"Rachel-" Blaine started to protest.
"I can't share with him," Rachel said. "I'm sorry but I can't."
Blaine turned to look at Kurt. No, no this wasn't happening. This was not fair.
"It's fine, Rachel," Kurt said. "We can sort this out in the morning when we've all calmed down."
This was every kind of not fair
*
It wasn't Mike's snoring keeping Blaine awake but his own thoughts. He replayed every second of the conversation with Kurt at the lake, picking out cadences and gestures which seemed to suggest that Kurt at the very least shared his interest, his feelings - his desire? He viewed each of them critically, trying to convince himself that it was all in his mind, that he'd just projected years of wishing and thinking and hoping onto their conversation, that he was deluding himself into thinking that there was something more.
Except he wasn't able to. Every moment, every thought came back to that one by the water's edge, in the split second before other voices and people had intruded, and even though he lacked any personal experience he had enough of a working knowledge of these things to know that if they'd not been interrupted, if it had just been the two of them for five, ten, even one minute longer then they would have kissed.
If they'd got back and Rachel's tent wasn't ripped and unusable, if they'd been able to spend another night in the tent together… Panic flared a little in his chest at the thought of what could have happened but he was able to push it away, focus on the kiss that never was.
Blaine wondered what it would be like, not just kissing in general but kissing Kurt. Kissing him. He'd spent longer than he would ever admit watching and re-watching this one scene from Kurt's first movie. The kiss, that kiss. At the time it had been somewhat controversial; a gay kiss up on the big screen and without the R rating that certain groups wanted. Buying the DVD day the day of release Blaine had obsessed over that scene, studying the way the characters moved, the way they met the other, the way that it looked like the most natural thing in the world - like they were meant for this, meant for each other.
And he hoped that his first kiss would be like that. Days and nights spent imagining that guy, the first guy he'd want to be with, want to kiss and hold and be held and to have that promise. After that movie Blaine had, on many occasions, imagined Kurt being that first kiss.
He turned his head to look at Mike, sleeping in ignorance of the effect he'd had on the night, and he wondered - hoped - that he and Kurt would have time to talk when they got back to Lima, time to pick up where they left off, time to work out what this thing was between them, time to work out where it was going, where it could go.
Time, however, was not on his side.
*
They'd been given a short break between scenes and Cooper, having finally mustered up the courage, pulled his chair up alongside Kurt's.
"Good weekend?" he asked.
"Fine," Kurt replied, not looking up from the screen of his iPad. "You?"
"Yeah, fine, nothing much. I mean, my plans fell through and Blaine was away at the festival so it was just me and the parents." Cooper watched Kurt's as he spoke, and smiled when he saw the faint twitch around his eyes. "You enjoy the festival?"
"What?" Kurt asked, finally looking up.
"Well, Blaine disappears for the weekend, you disappear for the weekend sending Mercedes into meltdown - and I really thought she was going to hit you on Monday by the way - and I know he had an extra ticket for the weekend."
"So why does that mean I went with him?"
"Because I know he packed our tent but when he got home Sunday he told Mom that he was exhausted because Mike had been snoring all night and kept him awake. So why would Mike snoring keep him awake if he was in his own tent? Conclusion: someone else was in his tent and Blaine was sharing with Mike, because that's the sort of guy my brother is. He's a gentleman. He's kind and honest and he cares. A lot."
Cooper turned so he was no longer looking at Kurt but watching the crew set up for the next scene. "If someone were to get close to him, if he let someone get close to him, then they would be able to do a lot of damage if they weren't careful. Blaine's an 'all or nothing' kind of guy. You get his trust or you don't. You get his respect or you don't. And I know that when he finally meets that guy? They'll get his heart, all of it, and he won't hold anything back, not even at the start.
"Which of course means that this guy, whoever he might be, could really hurt him. Like if they're not sure, or if they can't give him everything he wants. He doesn't have to do it all right away, of course, I'm talking long term. Blaine'll stick around out of hope, waiting for the relationship to develop, to grow to that point. But if that guy has no intention of getting there with him, or maybe even can't go there with him? Trust me, I know my little brother. It will kill him."
"Has he ever… had a boyfriend?" Kurt asked carefully, trying to look like he was still reading the page on his tablet.
"Not that I know of for sure but I'm pretty sure he hasn't. He's not talked to me about anyone and like I said, all or nothing."
"Cooper…"
"He has been staring at his cell phone all week," Cooper said quietly. "I don't know what happened, I don't want to know details because that's between you two. But I know you went with them and I know something happened between the two of you.
"I don't know if you talked about this, but you need to let him down gently, you hear me? In less than two weeks we are done here and I know you're going off to New York for the next movie. You've spent this week looking like nothing's changed and he's spent it looking like the world has ended. This is more than some… fan thing, you know? He really likes you, Kurt. And you're either in for all or for nothing."
"Mercedes has been watching me like a hawk," Kurt said quietly.
"Which stops you from sending a text? An email?"
"I'm pretty sure she's checking my history," Kurt said with a hollow laugh. "If she found out about Blaine then it would be so much worse for him. I'm not pulling him into this life so he can lose what privacy he does have. Would you want this life for him? We both know what happens when the media find out we're seeing someone."
"I think that's a decision Blaine needs to make for himself," Cooper replied. "If someone were to give him the chance to make it that is."
"And if I already know his answer?"
"Then you already know what you need to do. But do it soon, yeah? Mom's worried he's coming down with something and I think she's about five minutes away from hauling him off to the doc's."
"This weekend. I promise."
"If you're going to break his heart… be gentle."
"Coop?"
"Yeah?" he asked, turning to see that Kurt had lifted his head to look at him.
"Thanks."
"He's my little brother."
"Can you…? I mean, don't-"
"Not a word, I promise," Cooper said, miming locking his mouth. Then he 'unlocked' it and grinned. "Be hard to do the scene," he quipped, 'pocketing' the key.
Kurt found himself laughing for the first time all week and he went back to his iPad. The page was filled with downloaded emails that he and Finn had exchanged over the previous six months, updates on family and life in general. Whenever he read them he used to feel a small pang in his chest, something he'd come to associate with homesickness, but here, in Ohio, just a few blocks away from the house he'd grown up in until New York had stolen him away? It felt warm, nestled somewhere deep and secure.
*
Blaine looked up in panic when he heard his name screamed down the hallway and he saw Rachel pushing her away against the crowd to come and join him.
"Have you heard?" she asked, voice high pitched with excitement.
"Heard what?"
"Oh my god! Kurt's asked to meet you, this afternoon after school in the choir room."
Blaine's mouth was suddenly dry and his heartbeat picked up a pace. "What?"
"Mr Schue just saw me and told me to come and find you and tell you to be in the choir room after school today because Kurt Hummel, the Kurt Hummel, wants to talk to you."
"He said that? He actually said that?"
"Mr Schue stopped me just now in the hallway and I asked if this was about my song suggestions for Regionals and he just smiled and told me to come and find you because, and I quote, 'Kurt Hummel wants to talk to you about something'."
Blaine would have fallen over had the lockers not been there for him to sag against as he ran through all the possibilities. Why now? What did he want to say? Why in the choir room? Why pass on the message through Mr Schue?
"You OK?" Rachel asked, noticing his reaction. "Blaine?" When he didn't respond she grabbed his hand and pulled him into a nearby classroom. "Tell me."
"It's nothing."
"Kurt Hummel, your lifelong crush and new friend, wants to speak to you and you act like it's the worst thing that could happen to you instead of an amazing opportunity."
"Opportunity to do what?"
"To tell him how you feel," Rachel said with the tone of one who felt she was stating the obvious. "I know this is more than just a fanboy crush now, isn't it?"
"I don't know what it is," Blaine admitted. "I thought I did but then he… I've not heard a thing from him since we said goodbye on Sunday."
"What? But I thought you two were like, text buddies or something now."
"I've sent him a few messages and emails but he's not replied. I stopped on Tuesday because I didn't want to come across as one of those stalker types but… What does he want to say to me that he needs to see me face to face? And why now, at the end of the week? Oh god, he's going to tell me to back off, isn't he? I've pushed it too far and he's doing it today because everyone leaves right away on a Friday so there won't be a crowd and I've screwed this up and-"
"OK, Blaine, honey, you need to breathe," Rachel said, putting her hands on his arms just below his shoulders, guiding him to perch on the edge of the teacher's desk. "If you want me to come with you then I can," she offered. "That way you won't have to face it on your own?"
"I'm not sure I want a witness to my humiliation," Blaine said.
"I swear, whatever happens between you two this afternoon, I won't say a word. Not even to Mike. Not even to my dads!"
"You swear?" Blaine asked, his eyes narrowing a little in suspicion.
In response, Rachel raised her right hand and put her left over her heart. "I swear on my dads' lives, my entire Barbra collection and my dreams of getting into NYADA that I, Rachel Berry, will not breathe a word about whatever happens between you and Kurt tonight. I swear that I will support you and help you and no matter what, I will still love you."
"Thank you," Blaine whispered. "Love you too."
"Hey, maybe it's not as bad as you think," Rachel said as she looped her arms around Blaine's neck in a hug. "Maybe he wants to apologise for the radio silence in person?"
"Maybe," Blaine mumbled into her shoulder.
"Hey, maybe he wants to take you out tonight," she exclaimed, pulling back a little. "Maybe he's got a private jet waiting at the airport and if you say yes - and please say yes - he's going to fly you off to some exotic and private location where it's just the two of you and no friends to get in the way of your makeout plans."
Blaine looked at her with narrowing eyes.
"I'm not stupid," she declared. "It took me a little while to figure out but Saturday night, you two? I really messed it up for you, didn't I?"
"If it were meant to be," Blaine said, pulling her back in, "then it would have happened anyway."
"There's still time," she said. "I'm going to make it my mission to get you that kiss, Blaine Anderson."
"Why?" he asked. "I mean, you don't have to and-"
"I want you to be happy and I think Kurt might actually make you really happy. Plus he's got a really gorgeous brother…"
She tailed off as the pair of them broke into giggles. Eventually Blaine felt ready to face the lunchtime crowds so they stepped out into the hallway. Right into the path of two large slushies.
tbc...
Author : Jen
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : au!Blaine & au!moviestar!Kurt
Word count : ~5,100 / ~54,000
Spoilers : AU re-write of seasons one through three
Warnings : mentions of the events of that Sadie Hawkins dance
Summary : If Blaine Anderson found a magic lamp he'd only ask for two things. He'd wish for a place at NYADA when he graduates high school, and he'd wish that Kurt Hummel was his boyfriend. There were three problems with this. Firstly, competition for NYADA was insane. Secondly, Kurt Hummel didn't even know he existed. Movie stars tended to be like that about their fans. Thirdly, Blaine didn't have a magic lamp.
Based on a Tumblr gif set found here & here
As always I can be found on Tumblr when I should be doing other things.
(cover by the awesome Becky who puts up with me more than she probably should...)
<< Part 3
~~~
He tried, he honestly did. There were thousands of people moving and dancing and jumping about the place and so it would be easy to keep some kind of distance between them. There was no need, none whatsoever, for them to be any closer than personal space would allow. That was Blaine's plan and he had every intention of sticking to it.
Seemed the festival had other ideas.
Every person in the crowd seemed more intent in not pushing them apart but closer together. Every move, dance and jump seemed to knock them into one another; arms, hips, shoulders, and on one memorable occasion, a hand on an ass.
Accidentally of course.
"What's going on with you two?" Rachel asked when they were on a drinks run, away from the crowds and the noise.
"What?"
"You and Kurt."
"We're... friends."
"Sure you are," she mocked.
"We are!"
"You and Mike are friends and I don't remember seeing you grabbing his ass in the year you've known each other."
"Shut up," Blaine growled. "Four waters," he ordered as they got to the front of the line. "We are friends. End of."
"But you want it to be more?" Rachel asked.
Blaine ignored her, handing over the money and grabbing two of the bottles. He didn't wait, just left her to pick up the remaining ones and walked off.
"Blaine!" she called after him, grabbing the drinks only as an afterthought. "I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all," she said when she caught up with him.
"Who says I'm going to get hurt?"
"You're falling in love with a Hollywood actor," she pointed out, "what about this will end well?"
"I'm not-"
"I'm not blind," Rachel cut across him. "I don't know what happened last night-"
"Nothing happened," Blaine snapped, stopping in his tracks. "Let's be really clear about this. Mike snored so loudly I couldn't sleep. I was going to sleep in the car but I couldn't find the keys, Kurt just saved me from sleeping outside, that's all. We talked a bit but nothing happened and more importantly nothing is going to happen. We are friends, that's it, and I don't know how long that's going to last. So can you stop with the comments about... more?"
"I'm sorry, Blaine, it's just you've always been so... into him and now he's here and you two seemed so close-"
"Firstly, I had a crush on an actor I'd never met before and as you and Mike pointed out last night, he's not really that guy. Secondly, it is possible to be close to a guy and not want him like that. Even if he is gay-"
"And gorgeous and smart and funny and has just about everything in common with you and looks at you like he's..."
"Like what?" Blaine prompted.
"I told you - I don't want you to get hurt. What happens when Kurt's finished filming? When he goes back to LA or New York or wherever his next movie is being done? What happens when he gets back with us tomorrow and Mercedes stops him from having any contact with you because you 'kidnapped' him this weekend?"
"Looks at me like what?" Blaine repeated softly.
"Like you look at him," she said. "Please, don't do anything stupid."
"Since when have I ever?" he asked with a soft laugh. "Come on, before they die of dehydration or something."
*
The evening started to slip into night and exhausted from the day, Rachel and Mike were the first to yawn and make their excuses before climbing into their tents. Mike had assured Blaine that the sinus meds he'd gone into town that evening to buy would kick in and therefore he wasn't likely to keep him awake should he want to return to their tent.
"You got plans for this evening?" Blaine asked Kurt as they plated up their shared meal. "I mean, Mike's talking about this late set but..."
"You have other ideas?" Kurt asked.
"Only if you want. And if you trust me."
"Why do I need to trust you?" Kurt said, his voice light but with an undercurrent of... something.
"I promise it is nothing dangerous or career damaging."
"Good to know."
"I have my own last night ritual for this festival," Blaine said, "and if you wanted to join me..."
"I'd love to," Kurt smiled.
Blaine didn't make any moves to go anywhere after they'd finished eating. Kurt watched him out of the corner of his eye, looking for any hints or clues that would give him away. He sat there while Mike and Rachel cleared up, didn't move from his seat by the tent (their tent) while his friends got changed into more appropriate gear for the evening performances. He even smiled as they wished him a good night before heading off.
"Blaine..." Kurt began but was cut off by a smile.
"They don't know," he said. "I mean, they know I go off somewhere but they don't know where. Or why."
"Why?" Kurt asked. "If this is something important to you..."
"It is," Blaine said, "which is why I want to share it with you. If you still want to."
"...Yeah," Kurt said. "If you're sure."
"I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't."
"OK. So where are we going?"
"You'll see," Blaine smiled. "Bring something warm."
"This does not fill me with confidence," Kurt laughed.
"You told me last night that you trusted me. So if you trust me enough to tell me... everything, trust me on this."
"I do trust you, Blaine. Really. It's just... I'm not used to letting go. For years it's been all on me. Mercedes is great but it was my image and therefore I needed to be careful about where I went and who I was seen with and..."
"You don't have to come," Blaine said. "I'm not going to... push you into anything."
"You're not, I promise. Ignore me, OK? This is all new for me."
"What is?"
"Having... someone like you in my life."
"I don't understand."
"Doesn't matter," Kurt said. "OK, warm clothing," he said, grabbing his jacket. "So where are we going?"
"Magical mystery tour," Blaine smiled. "Come on." He held out his hand and smiled when Kurt slipped his into it.
*
They dropped hands quickly - this was still Ohio after all - and discussed trivial things on their walk. From makeovers to reality TV to their go-to songs in the shower, the conversation filled the time so much that Kurt hadn't realised they'd come off the main road and were walking down an access road.
"Where are we?" Kurt asked.
"Buckeye Lake," Blaine said as they rounded a corner.
"It's... stunning."
"It's usually packed out but when the festival's on most people are there. I came here last year almost by accident. We'd just lost Regionals and I felt really bad about things."
"Why? It wasn't as if it was your fault. Was it?" Kurt asked.
"I didn't screw up if that's what you mean," Blaine laughed. "Well, not like... I'd just arrived at McKinley and as soon as they heard how good I was they wanted me to take joint lead with Rachel. She wasn't happy but in the end majority ruled. It was... awkward. I guess it was hard to buy a great love song ballad when the two leads won't even look at each other?"
"This year was better though?"
"Nationals, here we come," Blaine grinned, "although the whole 'act like I'm into Rachel' thing is still a little weird. Especially since..."
"Since what?" Kurt prompted.
"Since... we dated. Once."
"You... dated? I thought you were-"
"Post Regionals pity party, drunken game of spin the bottle, one kiss, whole week of confusion which is never to be spoken of again, you hear?"
"Be a bit hypocritical of me," Kurt said, holding his hands up. "Before I transferred to Dalton I tried to... put out an image shall we say?"
"Why do we do that?" Blaine asked as they reached the edge of the lake. "Self sabotage? I always knew who I was, always."
"Me too," Kurt said, joining Blaine as he sat down on the ground, "but I guess we think - hope maybe? - that it will make life easier."
"But it doesn't."
"Benefits of hindsight."
"But we know it, instinctively, even then."
"I think that when you know something is... going to be hard, possibly the hardest thing you're going to have to deal with in your life, there's a part of us that wants to avoid it. A kind of self-preservation maybe?"
"So the trick is to not listen to that little voice?" Blaine asked.
"Depends what it's saying and why," Kurt replied. "Something like lying about who you are? Ignore it."
"What about something you want?"
"Depends on the something," Kurt said, turning his head to look at Blaine.
When Blaine caught Kurt's movement out of the corner of his eye he started to turn but was quickly distracted. "Is that...?" he started, pointing upwards.
The pair of them looked up at the short streak of light across the stars.
"I don't think it's a plane," Kurt said, "so we're about to wish on a shooting star or a UFO."
"Totally aliens," Blaine deadpanned. "Ohio is the most interesting place for them to come. Not for experiments, but vacations."
"What if it wasn't?" Kurt asked. "A UFO I mean. What would you wish for?"
"I can't tell you that, it won't come true."
"Ah, but you haven't made the wish have you? And if you were to make it in future I'd never know so really the rule doesn't apply."
"I've already made my wish," Blaine said.
"What?"
"Years ago. I made my wish so I can't tell you. What would you wish for?"
"Me?" Kurt asked. "I... I don't know."
"Hard to think of what you want when you have everything you need?"
"Hardly," Kurt said, looking down at the line where the water began. "I miss a lot of things I don't have now. My friends at Dalton, my biggest worry being a History assignment that I've not started two days before it's due in. Friday night dinners with my dad or arguing about what to watch on TV with Finn. Carole's hot chocolate and home-made cakes that Dad has to beg for a sliver of because it's full of sugars and fats. He won't touch the healthy ones we make, say they taste 'wrong'.
"I miss being able to go out in public and not having to be dressed like this," he said, gesturing to his clothes. "I mean, the high fashion stuff is part of who he is but it came from somewhere. I've not worn flannel in a really long time."
"You wore it before?" Blaine asked, his brain skipping a few coherent thoughts at that image.
"I'm eighteen years old and anyone I'd have called a friend before now graduates this summer. In return for losing the best part of two years of my life, gaining a legion of fans, making a huge difference in the perception of LGBT teens across the country and a bank balance most people would kill for, I lost my life. I lost everyone I ever cared about..."
"You didn't lose your family," Blaine said. "The way Finn was proves that."
"He's... protective," Kurt said. "He's going to play with Ohio State you know? He knows he's not NFL material but he is good. Reckons he can get into coaching maybe? That was the one of the better things of this life. He lost out on a scholarship but I can afford his college fees. He hates that I'm paying for him, swears he'll pay me back but we both know that he doesn't have to.
"I can't go home unless it's the holidays and everyone's busy with their own lives so I just send money and convince myself that it makes it all better. Dad and Carole don't have a mortgage anymore, they got the honeymoon they lost because they had my school fees to pay, and-"
"They know you still love them," Blaine interrupted, "and I bet they know that if you could be there you would be."
"That's why I had to shoot this movie here."
"I know."
"I miss them. God, Blaine, I miss this life. I miss... being me, even if some days I don't quite know who that is."
"Well if you forget then just ask," Blaine said, his voice low and meaningful. "I think I've got a pretty good idea who the real Kurt is."
"Yeah? He a good kid?"
"Yeah," Blaine all but whispered. "He's... amazing."
"He has no idea what he's doing," Kurt said, holding Blaine's gaze. "He's... stuck in this life he's not sure he wants anymore."
"I don't want anything you don't-" Blaine started, biting on his lip. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Not with me. And I... Tell me what you want."
"I..." Kurt began, then swallowed hard. "I want to finish high school. I want to tell people that I come from Ohio and that I have the best family anyone could ask for. I want to be able to go out without being followed by photographers and I want to be able to decide to do something without having to run it past anyone first.
"I want to be able to come out to music festivals without having to arrange a subterfuge the like of which is reserved for affairs and heists. I want to stop worrying about privacy and saying the right or wrong thing. I want to be able to sing without someone asking me when I'm releasing an album. I want to meet people and not wonder if they just want me for... him.
"I want to be eighteen years old, Blaine. I just want..."
"So be him," Blaine said.
"You make it sound so simple."
"It can be if you want it. There's this line from a movie that I love, that I think is just... a really good way to view life. Nothing we ever wanted turned up, rang the bell and said 'here I am'. You have to go out there and get it."
Kurt laughed. "So this is me, going out there and getting it. Getting you," he quoted.
"Who says I'm yours to get?"
"Who says you're not?" Kurt finished, closing the gap between them and then everything stopped.
Blaine held his breath, his gaze moving from Kurt's eyes to his lips, just briefly. Right there, and it would be so simple, so easy to just...
He could do it. He could lean in and kiss him. A moment that he had, on more than one occasion, dreamt about. Fantasised about. And it could only be one kiss but that would be enough. It would be a good first kiss - the kind of first kiss that people write songs about.
Kurt wasn't moving, wasn't pulling back. He was holding there, just the same as Blaine, watching the same.
"Blaine..." he said quietly.
"I don't want you to do anything you don't want..."
"I'm not going anywhere," Kurt said.
This was real. This was real and this was really happening. This was...
"Last one in runs home!"
The scream tore through the mood and the two boys pulled back, scrambling to their feet just in time to see the group of lads come racing down the access road. Not noticing - or caring - about Kurt and Blaine they stopped only to strip down to their underwear before diving in, splashing and cheering and mocking the slowest of their group.
Before they could be noticed they were on their feet and heading back to the campsite. Anticipation and desire still ran through their veins so they didn't dare say anything, just walked as fast as they could without breaking into a run, hands brushing against the other every now and then and re-sparking the mood.
Blaine was trying hard not to think about what awaited them back at the festival as they showed their wristbands to security. A night in a tent together, close and...
As they approached the first line of tents Kurt looked over, catching Blaine's eye. The grins were instant and Blaine reached out, wrapping his fingers around the couple of Kurt's that he could grab and was rewarded with the best squeeze that Kurt could give him.
This was really going to happen. This was every wish and prayer and dream that Blaine had ever had since that first movie came out two Falls ago.
They made their way through the tents, heading towards their pitch towards the back, and as they rounded the last tent they stopped dead, their hearts sinking.
"Absolute disaster," Rachel announced, standing in front of what used to be her tent. "It's all Mike's fault."
"It is not," he protested.
"You were the one who fell on it!"
"Because you pushed me!"
"I was scared!"
"Of a shadow!"
"I didn't know that at the time, did I? I just saw something and-"
"You thought it was some murderer or creature?"
"I can't deal with this," Rachel said. "Kurt, I'm sharing with you tonight."
"Rachel-" Blaine started to protest.
"I can't share with him," Rachel said. "I'm sorry but I can't."
Blaine turned to look at Kurt. No, no this wasn't happening. This was not fair.
"It's fine, Rachel," Kurt said. "We can sort this out in the morning when we've all calmed down."
This was every kind of not fair
*
It wasn't Mike's snoring keeping Blaine awake but his own thoughts. He replayed every second of the conversation with Kurt at the lake, picking out cadences and gestures which seemed to suggest that Kurt at the very least shared his interest, his feelings - his desire? He viewed each of them critically, trying to convince himself that it was all in his mind, that he'd just projected years of wishing and thinking and hoping onto their conversation, that he was deluding himself into thinking that there was something more.
Except he wasn't able to. Every moment, every thought came back to that one by the water's edge, in the split second before other voices and people had intruded, and even though he lacked any personal experience he had enough of a working knowledge of these things to know that if they'd not been interrupted, if it had just been the two of them for five, ten, even one minute longer then they would have kissed.
If they'd got back and Rachel's tent wasn't ripped and unusable, if they'd been able to spend another night in the tent together… Panic flared a little in his chest at the thought of what could have happened but he was able to push it away, focus on the kiss that never was.
Blaine wondered what it would be like, not just kissing in general but kissing Kurt. Kissing him. He'd spent longer than he would ever admit watching and re-watching this one scene from Kurt's first movie. The kiss, that kiss. At the time it had been somewhat controversial; a gay kiss up on the big screen and without the R rating that certain groups wanted. Buying the DVD day the day of release Blaine had obsessed over that scene, studying the way the characters moved, the way they met the other, the way that it looked like the most natural thing in the world - like they were meant for this, meant for each other.
And he hoped that his first kiss would be like that. Days and nights spent imagining that guy, the first guy he'd want to be with, want to kiss and hold and be held and to have that promise. After that movie Blaine had, on many occasions, imagined Kurt being that first kiss.
He turned his head to look at Mike, sleeping in ignorance of the effect he'd had on the night, and he wondered - hoped - that he and Kurt would have time to talk when they got back to Lima, time to pick up where they left off, time to work out what this thing was between them, time to work out where it was going, where it could go.
Time, however, was not on his side.
*
They'd been given a short break between scenes and Cooper, having finally mustered up the courage, pulled his chair up alongside Kurt's.
"Good weekend?" he asked.
"Fine," Kurt replied, not looking up from the screen of his iPad. "You?"
"Yeah, fine, nothing much. I mean, my plans fell through and Blaine was away at the festival so it was just me and the parents." Cooper watched Kurt's as he spoke, and smiled when he saw the faint twitch around his eyes. "You enjoy the festival?"
"What?" Kurt asked, finally looking up.
"Well, Blaine disappears for the weekend, you disappear for the weekend sending Mercedes into meltdown - and I really thought she was going to hit you on Monday by the way - and I know he had an extra ticket for the weekend."
"So why does that mean I went with him?"
"Because I know he packed our tent but when he got home Sunday he told Mom that he was exhausted because Mike had been snoring all night and kept him awake. So why would Mike snoring keep him awake if he was in his own tent? Conclusion: someone else was in his tent and Blaine was sharing with Mike, because that's the sort of guy my brother is. He's a gentleman. He's kind and honest and he cares. A lot."
Cooper turned so he was no longer looking at Kurt but watching the crew set up for the next scene. "If someone were to get close to him, if he let someone get close to him, then they would be able to do a lot of damage if they weren't careful. Blaine's an 'all or nothing' kind of guy. You get his trust or you don't. You get his respect or you don't. And I know that when he finally meets that guy? They'll get his heart, all of it, and he won't hold anything back, not even at the start.
"Which of course means that this guy, whoever he might be, could really hurt him. Like if they're not sure, or if they can't give him everything he wants. He doesn't have to do it all right away, of course, I'm talking long term. Blaine'll stick around out of hope, waiting for the relationship to develop, to grow to that point. But if that guy has no intention of getting there with him, or maybe even can't go there with him? Trust me, I know my little brother. It will kill him."
"Has he ever… had a boyfriend?" Kurt asked carefully, trying to look like he was still reading the page on his tablet.
"Not that I know of for sure but I'm pretty sure he hasn't. He's not talked to me about anyone and like I said, all or nothing."
"Cooper…"
"He has been staring at his cell phone all week," Cooper said quietly. "I don't know what happened, I don't want to know details because that's between you two. But I know you went with them and I know something happened between the two of you.
"I don't know if you talked about this, but you need to let him down gently, you hear me? In less than two weeks we are done here and I know you're going off to New York for the next movie. You've spent this week looking like nothing's changed and he's spent it looking like the world has ended. This is more than some… fan thing, you know? He really likes you, Kurt. And you're either in for all or for nothing."
"Mercedes has been watching me like a hawk," Kurt said quietly.
"Which stops you from sending a text? An email?"
"I'm pretty sure she's checking my history," Kurt said with a hollow laugh. "If she found out about Blaine then it would be so much worse for him. I'm not pulling him into this life so he can lose what privacy he does have. Would you want this life for him? We both know what happens when the media find out we're seeing someone."
"I think that's a decision Blaine needs to make for himself," Cooper replied. "If someone were to give him the chance to make it that is."
"And if I already know his answer?"
"Then you already know what you need to do. But do it soon, yeah? Mom's worried he's coming down with something and I think she's about five minutes away from hauling him off to the doc's."
"This weekend. I promise."
"If you're going to break his heart… be gentle."
"Coop?"
"Yeah?" he asked, turning to see that Kurt had lifted his head to look at him.
"Thanks."
"He's my little brother."
"Can you…? I mean, don't-"
"Not a word, I promise," Cooper said, miming locking his mouth. Then he 'unlocked' it and grinned. "Be hard to do the scene," he quipped, 'pocketing' the key.
Kurt found himself laughing for the first time all week and he went back to his iPad. The page was filled with downloaded emails that he and Finn had exchanged over the previous six months, updates on family and life in general. Whenever he read them he used to feel a small pang in his chest, something he'd come to associate with homesickness, but here, in Ohio, just a few blocks away from the house he'd grown up in until New York had stolen him away? It felt warm, nestled somewhere deep and secure.
*
Blaine looked up in panic when he heard his name screamed down the hallway and he saw Rachel pushing her away against the crowd to come and join him.
"Have you heard?" she asked, voice high pitched with excitement.
"Heard what?"
"Oh my god! Kurt's asked to meet you, this afternoon after school in the choir room."
Blaine's mouth was suddenly dry and his heartbeat picked up a pace. "What?"
"Mr Schue just saw me and told me to come and find you and tell you to be in the choir room after school today because Kurt Hummel, the Kurt Hummel, wants to talk to you."
"He said that? He actually said that?"
"Mr Schue stopped me just now in the hallway and I asked if this was about my song suggestions for Regionals and he just smiled and told me to come and find you because, and I quote, 'Kurt Hummel wants to talk to you about something'."
Blaine would have fallen over had the lockers not been there for him to sag against as he ran through all the possibilities. Why now? What did he want to say? Why in the choir room? Why pass on the message through Mr Schue?
"You OK?" Rachel asked, noticing his reaction. "Blaine?" When he didn't respond she grabbed his hand and pulled him into a nearby classroom. "Tell me."
"It's nothing."
"Kurt Hummel, your lifelong crush and new friend, wants to speak to you and you act like it's the worst thing that could happen to you instead of an amazing opportunity."
"Opportunity to do what?"
"To tell him how you feel," Rachel said with the tone of one who felt she was stating the obvious. "I know this is more than just a fanboy crush now, isn't it?"
"I don't know what it is," Blaine admitted. "I thought I did but then he… I've not heard a thing from him since we said goodbye on Sunday."
"What? But I thought you two were like, text buddies or something now."
"I've sent him a few messages and emails but he's not replied. I stopped on Tuesday because I didn't want to come across as one of those stalker types but… What does he want to say to me that he needs to see me face to face? And why now, at the end of the week? Oh god, he's going to tell me to back off, isn't he? I've pushed it too far and he's doing it today because everyone leaves right away on a Friday so there won't be a crowd and I've screwed this up and-"
"OK, Blaine, honey, you need to breathe," Rachel said, putting her hands on his arms just below his shoulders, guiding him to perch on the edge of the teacher's desk. "If you want me to come with you then I can," she offered. "That way you won't have to face it on your own?"
"I'm not sure I want a witness to my humiliation," Blaine said.
"I swear, whatever happens between you two this afternoon, I won't say a word. Not even to Mike. Not even to my dads!"
"You swear?" Blaine asked, his eyes narrowing a little in suspicion.
In response, Rachel raised her right hand and put her left over her heart. "I swear on my dads' lives, my entire Barbra collection and my dreams of getting into NYADA that I, Rachel Berry, will not breathe a word about whatever happens between you and Kurt tonight. I swear that I will support you and help you and no matter what, I will still love you."
"Thank you," Blaine whispered. "Love you too."
"Hey, maybe it's not as bad as you think," Rachel said as she looped her arms around Blaine's neck in a hug. "Maybe he wants to apologise for the radio silence in person?"
"Maybe," Blaine mumbled into her shoulder.
"Hey, maybe he wants to take you out tonight," she exclaimed, pulling back a little. "Maybe he's got a private jet waiting at the airport and if you say yes - and please say yes - he's going to fly you off to some exotic and private location where it's just the two of you and no friends to get in the way of your makeout plans."
Blaine looked at her with narrowing eyes.
"I'm not stupid," she declared. "It took me a little while to figure out but Saturday night, you two? I really messed it up for you, didn't I?"
"If it were meant to be," Blaine said, pulling her back in, "then it would have happened anyway."
"There's still time," she said. "I'm going to make it my mission to get you that kiss, Blaine Anderson."
"Why?" he asked. "I mean, you don't have to and-"
"I want you to be happy and I think Kurt might actually make you really happy. Plus he's got a really gorgeous brother…"
She tailed off as the pair of them broke into giggles. Eventually Blaine felt ready to face the lunchtime crowds so they stepped out into the hallway. Right into the path of two large slushies.
tbc...