SJA fic : Satellite Series : Little One
Title : Little One
Author : Jen
Fandom : The Sarah Jane Adventures
Rating : PG
Characters : Sarah Jane and some friends
Spoilers : tons. But to keep you from placing this too easily I'm going to say all of SJA and Nu!Who as far as we've seen.
~~
Sarah sat on the cold wooden bench and placed her feet on the edge, hugging her knees to her chest. The words rang in her head: You are indeed pregnant, Mrs Dalton. I would say about six weeks from the dates you've given me.
Pregnant.
Again.
"Anyone sat here?"
Sarah snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at the young woman standing in front of her. She shook her head before resting her chin on her knees.
"You OK?" the girl asked, tucking her flame-red hair behind her ear. "Good or bad news?"
"Hmm?"
"Young woman sat outside the maternity wing?" The girl glanced at the hands clasped around Sarah's legs. "Wedding ring... So, good news or not?"
"Don't know," Sarah admitted.
"What? You don't know if you're pregnant or...?"
"No, I'm pregnant."
"And you're not sure if you want it?"
"I'm not sure if I can keep it."
"Right."
Sarah looked over at her. "It's not what you're thinking."
"And what am I thinking?" the girl replied with a grin.
"I've had five miscarriages."
"Ouch."
"Yeah. Ouch."
"So you're scared?"
"Terrified," Sarah admitted. "And I don't know what's going to happen. Am I just going to lose this baby too? It's like..." She sighed and turned her head back 'round, resting her chin on her knees again. "When I fell pregnant the first time, Peter and I, we were so happy."
"Peter's your husband?"
"Yeah. We'd only just started to try and we thought our luck was in. Made it to ten weeks, just one of those things. It was hard and it hurt but we picked ourselves back up. Waited a few months like they suggested, and we tried again. That time it was only six weeks."
"Five times?" the girl whispered.
"Each time we just thought, 'this is it, this time we'll be a family'. When I first fell pregnant, when I told him I was late? He was so excited. We both were. I remember going to the doctor's for the test results. When the doctor said yes, I was pregnant, I don't know how we did it, but we just sat there calmly, nodded, and thanked him. Then we left as soon as we were outside Peter picked me up and spun me around.
"The second time he gave me a hug. The third it was a kiss. The last two... we just looked at each other and we smiled but you could see it in our eyes."
"It's only natural to be scared," the girl said, a hint of a Scottish accent drifting out. "God knows how I'd be after five..."
"I don't know if I want to tell him. Peter. If this is going to end badly then at least I can spare him that. Five times he's had to watch me... doubled over in pain, crying, knowing our baby is slipping away and he can't do anything to stop it. He hates it. He doesn't say it, but I know he hates it. He hates that he can't make it better, he hates that he can't protect me, but worse than that..."
"He can't protect his child," the girl finished.
"Yeah."
"Maybe this time will be different."
"Said that before."
"Maybe..."
"And what if it's not? Did you know that only one in four pregnancies actually goes to term?"
"Sounds like you're due a change in odds," the girl said. "You never know."
"I know what damage this is going do to Peter, to us, if it goes wrong."
"Who says it will? Tell him. You can't keep it secret. Even if... he needs to know."
"Unless..." Sarah began, the dark thought creeping back to the outreaches of her mind.
"Unless there's nothing to tell him? You don't seem like the kind of person who could do that."
"Do what?"
"That," the Scot said, her meaning clear.
"Make life easier."
"Right up until the point you have to look him in the eye."
Sarah sighed gently and put her feet down on the ground, moving her hands to her stomach.
"Looks to me like your mind is made up."
"I'm just..."
"Scared."
"Yeah."
"Just do what you think's right. The rest is out of your hands."
"I just want to be a mum."
"You are," the Scot said, "always have been. I can see it."
"What?" Sarah asked, turning to look at the woman.
"You've got this air about you. You're a mum. There's this... sense you have. Something I remember about my Mum. Everyone said that you knew she was a mum purely because of how she talked, how she looked. A look in her eye. You have it."
"But I'm not..."
"Yes," she corrected gently. "You are." Glancing at her watch, she smiled gently. "I should get off."
"Appointment?" Sarah asked.
"Something like that. Congratulations."
"Here's hoping."
The Scot smiled again and got to her feet.
"I'm Sarah by the way."
"I'm Amelia," the scot replied with a smile on her face.
Amy walked away from Sarah, almost bumping into the Doctor when she rounded the corner. "Oh do you really have to do that?"
"And?"
"Who is she to you?"
"Amy!"
"Who is she?"
"Did you talk to her or not? This is important, Amelia. Did you talk to her?"
Amy narrowed her eyes. "She's not another River is she?"
"What? No!"
"Then who is she?" she asked again, folding her arms.
"Someone very, very important, Amy. More important than you realise, and so is that baby she's carrying. So did you talk to her?"
"Yeah, we talked."
"She's keeping the baby?"
"Why the interest? Is it yours?" Amy quipped. "Alright!" she said in response to his glare. "Yeah, she'll keep it. But then you knew that already."
"Time doesn't work like that. Sarah kept the baby because you talked to her today. You don't talk to her, time gets re-written. No baby, no future... Just because I met her in my past doesn't mean it'll happen in the future."
"Does anything happen in the right order for you?"
"Everything's in the right order for me. It's just wrong for you. Not my fault."
"So who is she? Apart from someone important."
"Sarah is... an old friend. A very good old friend."
"You care about her."
The Doctor gave her a look which betrayed that Sarah was so much more than that. "That baby is so important, Amy. Nicole..."
"Nicole?"
"Sarah's going to have a daughter. Nicole Grace. Sarah in miniature. And she's brilliant, she really is. She's fantastic, Amy. Only she shouldn't exist. She's not supposed to be here."
"Do you ever make sense?"
"Long story. Sarah's reliving her past, changing things. In just under thirty years the Universe is going to take Peter from her because he was supposed to die. And thirty years from now it's going to come for Nicole. Because she shouldn't exist."
"Her daughter's going to die?" Amy protested. "You just had me convince her to... For that? That's cruel!"
"In about thirty years' time, Sarah and Nicole are going to get caught between two rival bounty hunters after the same prize. And the Universe is going to protect itself and Nicole will be killed."
Amy's heart broke and she wanted to run back to Sarah and tell her everything, warn her. Then she saw the expression on the Doctor's face. "What happens?"
"What will always happen when a mother sees her child in danger."
"Sarah...?"
"Yeah," he breathed gently.
"And you're just going to sit back and let that happen?"
"Things happen, Amy, whether I want them to or not."
"But you..."
"Either Sarah dies or Nicole does. And I know her, Amy. I know her so very well. She won't hesitate, she won't regret it. She adores her kids, lives for them. And she'll die for Nicole. That's so very, very Sarah."
"But if there's no Nicole...?"
"Then Sarah lives on. Ripe old age. Long and happy and brilliant life. But she's the last of her line. Luke's her adopted son, but Nicole? That's flesh, that's blood. Nicole is Sarah, Amy, and that's why she can go on. The Universe corrects itself because Nicole is Sarah and Sarah is Nicole. They're not just alike in terms of looks and personality, they are alike.
"Sarah's grandkids, great-grandkids, great-great-grandkids. Generation after generation and Sarah Jane Smith lives on for centuries. Because she has that child, because she dies for that child. My Sarah Jane lives on."
"How can you just stand back and let that happen?"
The Doctor put his hands on Amy's shoulders, turning her around and pushing her towards the corner. They peered around, looking at Sarah who was still sat on the bench, her hands resting on her stomach.
"Because she is a mum. She has always been a mum. And because, if I walked over, and told her everything? That she'll have this baby, she'll be a mum to a brilliant little girl who'll grow up to be a brilliant young woman, but here's the catch... She'd still go for it. She will still do it."
"This is what it's like? Travelling with you?"
"Sometimes."
"Is she happy? Sarah?"
"Like you wouldn't believe."
"And Nicole will be OK?"
"Three kids with Scott. She's pregnant with the first when Sarah... A boy, Peter after her dad. Then Sarah, then..." He smiled as he turned Amy to look at him. "Then Amelia. You told Sarah your name. Guess she tells Nicole."
Amy glanced back over at Sarah, watching her get to her feet and go back into the building. Then she followed the Doctor back into the TARDIS.
~fin~
Author : Jen
Fandom : The Sarah Jane Adventures
Rating : PG
Characters : Sarah Jane and some friends
Spoilers : tons. But to keep you from placing this too easily I'm going to say all of SJA and Nu!Who as far as we've seen.
~~
Sarah sat on the cold wooden bench and placed her feet on the edge, hugging her knees to her chest. The words rang in her head: You are indeed pregnant, Mrs Dalton. I would say about six weeks from the dates you've given me.
Pregnant.
Again.
"Anyone sat here?"
Sarah snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at the young woman standing in front of her. She shook her head before resting her chin on her knees.
"You OK?" the girl asked, tucking her flame-red hair behind her ear. "Good or bad news?"
"Hmm?"
"Young woman sat outside the maternity wing?" The girl glanced at the hands clasped around Sarah's legs. "Wedding ring... So, good news or not?"
"Don't know," Sarah admitted.
"What? You don't know if you're pregnant or...?"
"No, I'm pregnant."
"And you're not sure if you want it?"
"I'm not sure if I can keep it."
"Right."
Sarah looked over at her. "It's not what you're thinking."
"And what am I thinking?" the girl replied with a grin.
"I've had five miscarriages."
"Ouch."
"Yeah. Ouch."
"So you're scared?"
"Terrified," Sarah admitted. "And I don't know what's going to happen. Am I just going to lose this baby too? It's like..." She sighed and turned her head back 'round, resting her chin on her knees again. "When I fell pregnant the first time, Peter and I, we were so happy."
"Peter's your husband?"
"Yeah. We'd only just started to try and we thought our luck was in. Made it to ten weeks, just one of those things. It was hard and it hurt but we picked ourselves back up. Waited a few months like they suggested, and we tried again. That time it was only six weeks."
"Five times?" the girl whispered.
"Each time we just thought, 'this is it, this time we'll be a family'. When I first fell pregnant, when I told him I was late? He was so excited. We both were. I remember going to the doctor's for the test results. When the doctor said yes, I was pregnant, I don't know how we did it, but we just sat there calmly, nodded, and thanked him. Then we left as soon as we were outside Peter picked me up and spun me around.
"The second time he gave me a hug. The third it was a kiss. The last two... we just looked at each other and we smiled but you could see it in our eyes."
"It's only natural to be scared," the girl said, a hint of a Scottish accent drifting out. "God knows how I'd be after five..."
"I don't know if I want to tell him. Peter. If this is going to end badly then at least I can spare him that. Five times he's had to watch me... doubled over in pain, crying, knowing our baby is slipping away and he can't do anything to stop it. He hates it. He doesn't say it, but I know he hates it. He hates that he can't make it better, he hates that he can't protect me, but worse than that..."
"He can't protect his child," the girl finished.
"Yeah."
"Maybe this time will be different."
"Said that before."
"Maybe..."
"And what if it's not? Did you know that only one in four pregnancies actually goes to term?"
"Sounds like you're due a change in odds," the girl said. "You never know."
"I know what damage this is going do to Peter, to us, if it goes wrong."
"Who says it will? Tell him. You can't keep it secret. Even if... he needs to know."
"Unless..." Sarah began, the dark thought creeping back to the outreaches of her mind.
"Unless there's nothing to tell him? You don't seem like the kind of person who could do that."
"Do what?"
"That," the Scot said, her meaning clear.
"Make life easier."
"Right up until the point you have to look him in the eye."
Sarah sighed gently and put her feet down on the ground, moving her hands to her stomach.
"Looks to me like your mind is made up."
"I'm just..."
"Scared."
"Yeah."
"Just do what you think's right. The rest is out of your hands."
"I just want to be a mum."
"You are," the Scot said, "always have been. I can see it."
"What?" Sarah asked, turning to look at the woman.
"You've got this air about you. You're a mum. There's this... sense you have. Something I remember about my Mum. Everyone said that you knew she was a mum purely because of how she talked, how she looked. A look in her eye. You have it."
"But I'm not..."
"Yes," she corrected gently. "You are." Glancing at her watch, she smiled gently. "I should get off."
"Appointment?" Sarah asked.
"Something like that. Congratulations."
"Here's hoping."
The Scot smiled again and got to her feet.
"I'm Sarah by the way."
"I'm Amelia," the scot replied with a smile on her face.
Amy walked away from Sarah, almost bumping into the Doctor when she rounded the corner. "Oh do you really have to do that?"
"And?"
"Who is she to you?"
"Amy!"
"Who is she?"
"Did you talk to her or not? This is important, Amelia. Did you talk to her?"
Amy narrowed her eyes. "She's not another River is she?"
"What? No!"
"Then who is she?" she asked again, folding her arms.
"Someone very, very important, Amy. More important than you realise, and so is that baby she's carrying. So did you talk to her?"
"Yeah, we talked."
"She's keeping the baby?"
"Why the interest? Is it yours?" Amy quipped. "Alright!" she said in response to his glare. "Yeah, she'll keep it. But then you knew that already."
"Time doesn't work like that. Sarah kept the baby because you talked to her today. You don't talk to her, time gets re-written. No baby, no future... Just because I met her in my past doesn't mean it'll happen in the future."
"Does anything happen in the right order for you?"
"Everything's in the right order for me. It's just wrong for you. Not my fault."
"So who is she? Apart from someone important."
"Sarah is... an old friend. A very good old friend."
"You care about her."
The Doctor gave her a look which betrayed that Sarah was so much more than that. "That baby is so important, Amy. Nicole..."
"Nicole?"
"Sarah's going to have a daughter. Nicole Grace. Sarah in miniature. And she's brilliant, she really is. She's fantastic, Amy. Only she shouldn't exist. She's not supposed to be here."
"Do you ever make sense?"
"Long story. Sarah's reliving her past, changing things. In just under thirty years the Universe is going to take Peter from her because he was supposed to die. And thirty years from now it's going to come for Nicole. Because she shouldn't exist."
"Her daughter's going to die?" Amy protested. "You just had me convince her to... For that? That's cruel!"
"In about thirty years' time, Sarah and Nicole are going to get caught between two rival bounty hunters after the same prize. And the Universe is going to protect itself and Nicole will be killed."
Amy's heart broke and she wanted to run back to Sarah and tell her everything, warn her. Then she saw the expression on the Doctor's face. "What happens?"
"What will always happen when a mother sees her child in danger."
"Sarah...?"
"Yeah," he breathed gently.
"And you're just going to sit back and let that happen?"
"Things happen, Amy, whether I want them to or not."
"But you..."
"Either Sarah dies or Nicole does. And I know her, Amy. I know her so very well. She won't hesitate, she won't regret it. She adores her kids, lives for them. And she'll die for Nicole. That's so very, very Sarah."
"But if there's no Nicole...?"
"Then Sarah lives on. Ripe old age. Long and happy and brilliant life. But she's the last of her line. Luke's her adopted son, but Nicole? That's flesh, that's blood. Nicole is Sarah, Amy, and that's why she can go on. The Universe corrects itself because Nicole is Sarah and Sarah is Nicole. They're not just alike in terms of looks and personality, they are alike.
"Sarah's grandkids, great-grandkids, great-great-grandkids. Generation after generation and Sarah Jane Smith lives on for centuries. Because she has that child, because she dies for that child. My Sarah Jane lives on."
"How can you just stand back and let that happen?"
The Doctor put his hands on Amy's shoulders, turning her around and pushing her towards the corner. They peered around, looking at Sarah who was still sat on the bench, her hands resting on her stomach.
"Because she is a mum. She has always been a mum. And because, if I walked over, and told her everything? That she'll have this baby, she'll be a mum to a brilliant little girl who'll grow up to be a brilliant young woman, but here's the catch... She'd still go for it. She will still do it."
"This is what it's like? Travelling with you?"
"Sometimes."
"Is she happy? Sarah?"
"Like you wouldn't believe."
"And Nicole will be OK?"
"Three kids with Scott. She's pregnant with the first when Sarah... A boy, Peter after her dad. Then Sarah, then..." He smiled as he turned Amy to look at him. "Then Amelia. You told Sarah your name. Guess she tells Nicole."
Amy glanced back over at Sarah, watching her get to her feet and go back into the building. Then she followed the Doctor back into the TARDIS.
~fin~