Released
Ah, such beautiful music. :) Kami told me to listen to it, and I'm glad I did.
I've come to terms with myself. I think I have, anyway. I'm not sure where to go from here, though. It would be nice if we could get some time in Twodor so that I could see Yalethyel and Ikeru again in a familiar environment. I also have a date, sort of. Does going to the library with someone count as a date?
You, my dearest friends (I seem to have more than one now, when did this happen?), might be wondering what it was that brought on my sudden and rather lengthy absense. I can't give away details, but it was a crime of negative thoughts and energy directed at a certain individual who didn't deserve it. I thought I had more control over myself. As it turns out, there are quite a few more selfish people out here in the "real world" than I had anticipated, even after years of knowing Shana. This came as a surprise to me, as I don't believe I have ever been so selfish. I'm not saying that I have never comitted a selfish act in my life, but I certainly seem less prone to it than most others. My frustration at constantly being the outlet for other people's selfishness is what drove me to thought crimes, then to extreme distrust and dislike of myself, and ultimately my self-imposed imprisonment. I'm not implying that this was anyone's fault but my own. I understand that my actions and thoughts are mine alone, and there is no one else who can be held responsible for whatever path I choose to take.
I feel as though I could sleep for a long time now, as all of that thinking has exhausted me. :)
I will be here on Sunday to go out to a concert with Ikeru. I'm excited over it. I've never actually been to a concert before. It's not exactly my style to get out and do things. :)
I've come to terms with myself. I think I have, anyway. I'm not sure where to go from here, though. It would be nice if we could get some time in Twodor so that I could see Yalethyel and Ikeru again in a familiar environment. I also have a date, sort of. Does going to the library with someone count as a date?
You, my dearest friends (I seem to have more than one now, when did this happen?), might be wondering what it was that brought on my sudden and rather lengthy absense. I can't give away details, but it was a crime of negative thoughts and energy directed at a certain individual who didn't deserve it. I thought I had more control over myself. As it turns out, there are quite a few more selfish people out here in the "real world" than I had anticipated, even after years of knowing Shana. This came as a surprise to me, as I don't believe I have ever been so selfish. I'm not saying that I have never comitted a selfish act in my life, but I certainly seem less prone to it than most others. My frustration at constantly being the outlet for other people's selfishness is what drove me to thought crimes, then to extreme distrust and dislike of myself, and ultimately my self-imposed imprisonment. I'm not implying that this was anyone's fault but my own. I understand that my actions and thoughts are mine alone, and there is no one else who can be held responsible for whatever path I choose to take.
I feel as though I could sleep for a long time now, as all of that thinking has exhausted me. :)
I will be here on Sunday to go out to a concert with Ikeru. I'm excited over it. I've never actually been to a concert before. It's not exactly my style to get out and do things. :)