six billion secrets
so i was looking at the website six billion secrets (http://www.sixbillionsecrets.com) well, i probably have almost six billion secrets on my own. and since only a tiny handfull of the people on here actually know me in the real world, and they are all people who i trust with my secrets, it's almost like the same anonymity as if i was sharing with the world on six billion secrets itself... i don't really know why i feel like doing this.
I've never felt as beautiful as when i was wasting away, starving to death.
when people compliment me, i smile and say thank you, pushing the comment away as quickly as possible. because i will never believe them, no matter how many times they say them.
i'm not sure what "good enough" is, but i know that i'm not it.
i will always be in love with him, even though i know he's not good for me. he brought out the best of me, but also the worst. he always caught me when i fell, and i know he always will.
i've never felt a sense of purpose until i was pregnant. that baby made me not hate myself. when i lost it, it was only an affirmation of how worthless i am. i will always love the child that was growing inside of me, even though they never made it past a month.
i know that i am fat and disgusting and ugly, why can't you all stop lying to me?
i was abused by my boyfriend when i was 14. i will never be able to love without hesitation and skepticism.
i will never give up my eating disorder. no matter how much treatment you try to shove down my throat, it will always come back.
i have an amazing boyfriend, but if my ex was standing right in front of me, i don't think i could resist him.
i've never felt truly beautiful.
i have an amzing ability to repress memories, i don't ever want to remember the things i made myself forget, i repress them for a reason. every repressed momory that i've ever regained have only made me miserable. i'd rather forget most of my childhood than have to live with those scars.
everyone praises me for my biggest regret.
i need people to love me in order to convince myself that i'm not completely worthless.
i put everyone before myself.
my hard bitch exterior shelters a very scared little girl.
I've never felt as beautiful as when i was wasting away, starving to death.
when people compliment me, i smile and say thank you, pushing the comment away as quickly as possible. because i will never believe them, no matter how many times they say them.
i'm not sure what "good enough" is, but i know that i'm not it.
i will always be in love with him, even though i know he's not good for me. he brought out the best of me, but also the worst. he always caught me when i fell, and i know he always will.
i've never felt a sense of purpose until i was pregnant. that baby made me not hate myself. when i lost it, it was only an affirmation of how worthless i am. i will always love the child that was growing inside of me, even though they never made it past a month.
i know that i am fat and disgusting and ugly, why can't you all stop lying to me?
i was abused by my boyfriend when i was 14. i will never be able to love without hesitation and skepticism.
i will never give up my eating disorder. no matter how much treatment you try to shove down my throat, it will always come back.
i have an amazing boyfriend, but if my ex was standing right in front of me, i don't think i could resist him.
i've never felt truly beautiful.
i have an amzing ability to repress memories, i don't ever want to remember the things i made myself forget, i repress them for a reason. every repressed momory that i've ever regained have only made me miserable. i'd rather forget most of my childhood than have to live with those scars.
everyone praises me for my biggest regret.
i need people to love me in order to convince myself that i'm not completely worthless.
i put everyone before myself.
my hard bitch exterior shelters a very scared little girl.