About Life
This is crazy, I can't believe I still even have this account after all I haven't written anything here since I was a senior in high school and now I that I am halfway through my sophomore year of college it seems weird that I feel so compelled to write in here again.
In a way the year and a half I haven't written anything down has been harder for me stress wise. All of my emotional outlets are gone, theatre, drawing, even writing. I honestly need some sort of artistic outlet, which would only seem as a natural part of my being to my older friends, but completely foreign to my new ones.
Sometimes I don't feel like the same person I was before. My life is so completely different from when I first planned it and I am beginning to discover that I am willingly giving up the aspects of me that I once found most important. My new friends know I am a little weird and that I like things that they nessecarily wouldn't but they don't know to what extent I am not like them but I don't think most of them would care. In fact, I think most of my friends would be slightly impressed that I know how to draw and act and write. Without these such aspects I feel as though nobody knows the real me. I miss all of these things because they make up a integral part of who I am.
So much has changed from the time I used to frequent these pages with illustrious words about my first love and about my wonderful friends. My love is different, some (but not all) of my friends have changed.
I still have Rosie, Joe, Tara, Alyssa and the kids I used to hang out with for theatre. The old theatre kids are awesome and I love to see them from time to time because they have always been so welcoming. Rosie has always been my rock and always will be. I know if I asked her to follow me to hell she would. Joe will forever one of my best friends. He is so intelligent and wonderful. Rosie and Joe are my family. Tara also is my family. She has been my best friend since second grade and nothing has changed between us. We may like completely different things but we never run out of anything to talk about and are sometimes so similar that we have some of the same mannerisms and laugh at exactly the same jokes. Alyssa while I am not as close to her as I once was will always be my friend. She was my very first friend in the world and will remain such forever. Nowadays even though Andrew and I have not dated in well over a year I can count Andrew among my best friends. He calls me every so often and we talk about life and school and things of that nature. Whenever he comes down to Houston during the holidays I see him and we catch up and have lunch. He really is a great guy and a wonderful friend. We had a rocky time starting as friends and there was a period that we couldn't talk for awhile but now everything is great and I am glad he is still in my life.
I have a new love though. Someone I really didn't expect. I have been dating Julian for over a year now and while we have had our hard times we have stuck through things quite wonderfully. He is completely different from Andrew in many ways but I think that's one of the things I love about him. I love him very dearly, and I know I've said this before about my one of my boyfriends but Julian really is my best friend. We do everything together and somehow I don't know I am just never tired of being with him. We are really similar in a lot of aspects but different enough to the point where things are never really dull. Our relationship for the most part is long distance because he lives in Houston and I go to school in Georgetown a good 2 1/2 hours away. I don't get to see him everyday but when I do I think it makes the ocassion that much more special. We spent all the previous summer and half of the summer before that together. I deeply adore him and love him so much and I am so glad we are dating.
My friends at college are a lot different from my friends at home. For one most of them are my sisters. Yeah, thats right I joined a sorority. Hard to believe because that's really not me but I actually have ALOT of fun with it. Also the girls in my sorority for the most part make a true sisterhood. We are small but all really close friends and even if we aren't that close we still would do anything for a sister if they were threatened or in trouble. Not to say sorority life is all sunshines and rainbows but I really do love the girls. My closest friends in my sorority are probably Justine and Bailey. Justine is perhaps one of the most interesting girls I have ever met. The are so many wonderful qualities about her that I love to death and we get a long and have a lot of the same quirky interests. I always have fun with her and always love talking to her. She has helped me with a lot of semi-tough situations and I really appreciate her for that! I know she will always have my back and I love her dearly for being who she is. Bailey also is absolutely fantastic! She reminds me somewhat of Tara in a way that she doesn't take shit from people nor does she really care for people who annoy her. I think I can talk very openly with Bailey with just about any subject and she will never judge, in fact most of the time she agrees. We get along on so many levels and I love her for always being there! She's such an incredibly fantastic friend! :)
Actually if it weren't for the girls in my sorority I probably would have already transferred by now.
It's not that I don't like Southwestern its just that I don't love it. It doesn't offer me way to much in terms of things I might be interested in doing. In an ideal world I might have liked to major in International Relations and Japanese with a minor in Theatre. In reality theatre at SU is too tough, they don't offer Japanese and the international studies major is limited. A lot of times I consider transferring, but then I consider that I can still squeeze a little bit of interest if I try hard. Like I probably will major in international studies and minor in Chinese.
Also, SU feels like highschool 2 sometimes since it is so small. Some people still believe in popular crowds and popular people. Its ludicrous. Most people don't give a shit. I know I don't, just as long as I have good friends.
Some days I wish I was going to a much larger school. Maybe like UT. That probably would have been really fun.
So I have my problems but I am not sure if they are big enough for me to say fuck it. Somedays they are but when I am home and nice and cozy in my own bed I try not to think about the negative things.
I really need to destress myself.
I am glad I am starting to write again. I really need this.
In a way the year and a half I haven't written anything down has been harder for me stress wise. All of my emotional outlets are gone, theatre, drawing, even writing. I honestly need some sort of artistic outlet, which would only seem as a natural part of my being to my older friends, but completely foreign to my new ones.
Sometimes I don't feel like the same person I was before. My life is so completely different from when I first planned it and I am beginning to discover that I am willingly giving up the aspects of me that I once found most important. My new friends know I am a little weird and that I like things that they nessecarily wouldn't but they don't know to what extent I am not like them but I don't think most of them would care. In fact, I think most of my friends would be slightly impressed that I know how to draw and act and write. Without these such aspects I feel as though nobody knows the real me. I miss all of these things because they make up a integral part of who I am.
So much has changed from the time I used to frequent these pages with illustrious words about my first love and about my wonderful friends. My love is different, some (but not all) of my friends have changed.
I still have Rosie, Joe, Tara, Alyssa and the kids I used to hang out with for theatre. The old theatre kids are awesome and I love to see them from time to time because they have always been so welcoming. Rosie has always been my rock and always will be. I know if I asked her to follow me to hell she would. Joe will forever one of my best friends. He is so intelligent and wonderful. Rosie and Joe are my family. Tara also is my family. She has been my best friend since second grade and nothing has changed between us. We may like completely different things but we never run out of anything to talk about and are sometimes so similar that we have some of the same mannerisms and laugh at exactly the same jokes. Alyssa while I am not as close to her as I once was will always be my friend. She was my very first friend in the world and will remain such forever. Nowadays even though Andrew and I have not dated in well over a year I can count Andrew among my best friends. He calls me every so often and we talk about life and school and things of that nature. Whenever he comes down to Houston during the holidays I see him and we catch up and have lunch. He really is a great guy and a wonderful friend. We had a rocky time starting as friends and there was a period that we couldn't talk for awhile but now everything is great and I am glad he is still in my life.
I have a new love though. Someone I really didn't expect. I have been dating Julian for over a year now and while we have had our hard times we have stuck through things quite wonderfully. He is completely different from Andrew in many ways but I think that's one of the things I love about him. I love him very dearly, and I know I've said this before about my one of my boyfriends but Julian really is my best friend. We do everything together and somehow I don't know I am just never tired of being with him. We are really similar in a lot of aspects but different enough to the point where things are never really dull. Our relationship for the most part is long distance because he lives in Houston and I go to school in Georgetown a good 2 1/2 hours away. I don't get to see him everyday but when I do I think it makes the ocassion that much more special. We spent all the previous summer and half of the summer before that together. I deeply adore him and love him so much and I am so glad we are dating.
My friends at college are a lot different from my friends at home. For one most of them are my sisters. Yeah, thats right I joined a sorority. Hard to believe because that's really not me but I actually have ALOT of fun with it. Also the girls in my sorority for the most part make a true sisterhood. We are small but all really close friends and even if we aren't that close we still would do anything for a sister if they were threatened or in trouble. Not to say sorority life is all sunshines and rainbows but I really do love the girls. My closest friends in my sorority are probably Justine and Bailey. Justine is perhaps one of the most interesting girls I have ever met. The are so many wonderful qualities about her that I love to death and we get a long and have a lot of the same quirky interests. I always have fun with her and always love talking to her. She has helped me with a lot of semi-tough situations and I really appreciate her for that! I know she will always have my back and I love her dearly for being who she is. Bailey also is absolutely fantastic! She reminds me somewhat of Tara in a way that she doesn't take shit from people nor does she really care for people who annoy her. I think I can talk very openly with Bailey with just about any subject and she will never judge, in fact most of the time she agrees. We get along on so many levels and I love her for always being there! She's such an incredibly fantastic friend! :)
Actually if it weren't for the girls in my sorority I probably would have already transferred by now.
It's not that I don't like Southwestern its just that I don't love it. It doesn't offer me way to much in terms of things I might be interested in doing. In an ideal world I might have liked to major in International Relations and Japanese with a minor in Theatre. In reality theatre at SU is too tough, they don't offer Japanese and the international studies major is limited. A lot of times I consider transferring, but then I consider that I can still squeeze a little bit of interest if I try hard. Like I probably will major in international studies and minor in Chinese.
Also, SU feels like highschool 2 sometimes since it is so small. Some people still believe in popular crowds and popular people. Its ludicrous. Most people don't give a shit. I know I don't, just as long as I have good friends.
Some days I wish I was going to a much larger school. Maybe like UT. That probably would have been really fun.
So I have my problems but I am not sure if they are big enough for me to say fuck it. Somedays they are but when I am home and nice and cozy in my own bed I try not to think about the negative things.
I really need to destress myself.
I am glad I am starting to write again. I really need this.