*im a pepper*
lalala
last night i worked 6-close. i was supposed to close with dustin and derek was supposed to get off early, but he switched and stayed with me, so it wasn't that bad of a night at work. after work, derek and i went back to his house and watched tv and stuff but i couldn't stay long because i had to go home at 1 and we got there at about 11:30 but it was still a beautiful night. then i went home and went to bed. then at about 3:00 in the morning my friend Adam, from Omelas, called me and he was all drunk and it was really funny. my friend Peatr was with him so i talked to him too. :) I miss those guys!
today, i worked from 10 to 4. we were pretty much dead all day so it was pretty boring. but i worked with derek so it wasn't that bad. after we both got off, we walked over to subway and got some food. mmm turkey boobs. haha then i took him home.
Zinn kept calling me and then adam called me too while i was working. so i talked to Zinn after work and he wanted to know if i wanted to hang out tomorrow after i got off work. but i dont wanna drive all the way out to warrensburg. arg. haha then when i got home i called adam and he appologized for giving me the drunken phone call. i appreciated it though because i hadn't talked to him in a while so it was nice to hear from him, drunk or not. lol
im starting to sing again. i kind of stopped for awhile. i was just feeling a little down for awhile so i kinda stopped caring about anything, especially myself. im trying to get back into the swing of things. I'm hoping that i dont fail english class but last time i knew, i was getting a 32 because i just didnt feel like doing anything. everyday was the same and i was just so sick of everything and didnt feel like i had anything to look forward to. but hopefully, i will graduate *crosses fingers* and then i wont have anything to worry about except where im going to live after my parents decide to leave me here.
yeah, a couple weeks ago, my step dad, casually, was like "yeah, so, we trust you, so you will have to look after the house a lot more because your mom and i are going to start traveling" like they never fucking travled before. in all the years that my mom has been with him, in this house, they have gone to MANY different places and left me behind. yeah, i went along sometimes when they couldnt find anywhere to leave me but they act like they never do anything. i am physically in this house SO much more than they are. i might as well live alone because that is what it feels like. i've been deserted by them so many times. not that i mind staying with my best friend becaus ei love it there, and i love her family like i should love mine but when your own family deserts you so much, you feel sort of lost inside. back to my story, this whole "traveling" thing turned into "yeah, and then we're going to get a mobile home. yep, we're going to SELL EVERYTHING and go to some places and see where we want to live" and that is what my grand parents do. they dont stay in 1 place for more than a year or 2. then he said "so you have to hurry up and be able to support youself soon because we have been waiting for you to graduate for SO long and we can finally do this" ok im SO FUCKING SORRY for being born last and SO SORRY for holding you back from LEAVING me stupid fucks. i fucking swear, i've always said this but i HATE my step dad. i really do. i've never fucking hated someone as much as i hate him. he's not even good to my mom. he just knows that he's a stupid fucking fuckhead that can't get anyone else because everyone else sees his superficialness. and he always calls my mom a liar. i always hear than arguing about the most stupid shit. like my mom was going to my brothers one day, which is like a 5 minute drive from our house and she wanted to visit him and take some piece of furnuture or filing cabinet or something over there for him and my stepdad was saying how she was lieing and she didnt ask permission to do that and all this other fucking stupid bullshit. i fucking hate how he treats her like shes fucking 5. arg im sooooo pissed. kgdlfyvsuifry387w6h4j3wknhlfdanjlfdaFUCK
i really cannot wait to move out. i dont even want to wait. the only thing that is holding me back is the money thing. i dont earn enough money to support myself on my own so i'd need someone to live with. but also, i am considering moving to seattle. i dont know yet but its almost my only option. im just freaked out about everything. i dont want to leave my friends or my dad and brothers but i hate it here. its just full of too many bad memories that have haunted me for years and i just want to get away from it.
on a lighter note, i got an interview at Hot Topic! yayyy!!!! this lady called me 2 days ago and left me a message about it and told me she would like to set up an interview with me so if i would please call her back, that would be much appreciated. but i couldnt call her back that day because i was at that band festival thing and i couldnt get to a place quite enough to where i could talk to her. so she called the next day while i was still at school. she left another message that said she still wanted to set up an interview and if i didnt call back she would just assume that i found another job or something. so, i HAD to call her after she said that and i was in PE and we werent doing anything so i called her back and appologized for not calling her sooner so then she gave me a date, time, and place for the interview and im all set! yayyy im SUPER excited.
know whats weird? i found a fortune cookie just sitting on my bar in my kitchen so i opened it, and it said "be prepared for a sudden, needed, and happy change in plans". funny, because i got the same exact fortune on derek and dustins birthday at mongolian garden. hmmm weird.
i watched "the forgotten" and "shall we dance" tonight after i got home from dropping derek off. the forgotten was alright. it was a little weird and some of the ends didnt meet but oh well. i was stumped until the end which doesnt happen a lot with me and supenceful movies. shall we dance was alright also. jlo wasnt too bad in it. although, she isnt that bad of an actress. but i dont like richard gere that much so yeah... but im about to finally stop typing and watch "without a paddle" which im not sure if im gonna like or not but uhhh
kthxbi
last night i worked 6-close. i was supposed to close with dustin and derek was supposed to get off early, but he switched and stayed with me, so it wasn't that bad of a night at work. after work, derek and i went back to his house and watched tv and stuff but i couldn't stay long because i had to go home at 1 and we got there at about 11:30 but it was still a beautiful night. then i went home and went to bed. then at about 3:00 in the morning my friend Adam, from Omelas, called me and he was all drunk and it was really funny. my friend Peatr was with him so i talked to him too. :) I miss those guys!
today, i worked from 10 to 4. we were pretty much dead all day so it was pretty boring. but i worked with derek so it wasn't that bad. after we both got off, we walked over to subway and got some food. mmm turkey boobs. haha then i took him home.
Zinn kept calling me and then adam called me too while i was working. so i talked to Zinn after work and he wanted to know if i wanted to hang out tomorrow after i got off work. but i dont wanna drive all the way out to warrensburg. arg. haha then when i got home i called adam and he appologized for giving me the drunken phone call. i appreciated it though because i hadn't talked to him in a while so it was nice to hear from him, drunk or not. lol
im starting to sing again. i kind of stopped for awhile. i was just feeling a little down for awhile so i kinda stopped caring about anything, especially myself. im trying to get back into the swing of things. I'm hoping that i dont fail english class but last time i knew, i was getting a 32 because i just didnt feel like doing anything. everyday was the same and i was just so sick of everything and didnt feel like i had anything to look forward to. but hopefully, i will graduate *crosses fingers* and then i wont have anything to worry about except where im going to live after my parents decide to leave me here.
yeah, a couple weeks ago, my step dad, casually, was like "yeah, so, we trust you, so you will have to look after the house a lot more because your mom and i are going to start traveling" like they never fucking travled before. in all the years that my mom has been with him, in this house, they have gone to MANY different places and left me behind. yeah, i went along sometimes when they couldnt find anywhere to leave me but they act like they never do anything. i am physically in this house SO much more than they are. i might as well live alone because that is what it feels like. i've been deserted by them so many times. not that i mind staying with my best friend becaus ei love it there, and i love her family like i should love mine but when your own family deserts you so much, you feel sort of lost inside. back to my story, this whole "traveling" thing turned into "yeah, and then we're going to get a mobile home. yep, we're going to SELL EVERYTHING and go to some places and see where we want to live" and that is what my grand parents do. they dont stay in 1 place for more than a year or 2. then he said "so you have to hurry up and be able to support youself soon because we have been waiting for you to graduate for SO long and we can finally do this" ok im SO FUCKING SORRY for being born last and SO SORRY for holding you back from LEAVING me stupid fucks. i fucking swear, i've always said this but i HATE my step dad. i really do. i've never fucking hated someone as much as i hate him. he's not even good to my mom. he just knows that he's a stupid fucking fuckhead that can't get anyone else because everyone else sees his superficialness. and he always calls my mom a liar. i always hear than arguing about the most stupid shit. like my mom was going to my brothers one day, which is like a 5 minute drive from our house and she wanted to visit him and take some piece of furnuture or filing cabinet or something over there for him and my stepdad was saying how she was lieing and she didnt ask permission to do that and all this other fucking stupid bullshit. i fucking hate how he treats her like shes fucking 5. arg im sooooo pissed. kgdlfyvsuifry387w6h4j3wknhlfdanjlfdaFUCK
i really cannot wait to move out. i dont even want to wait. the only thing that is holding me back is the money thing. i dont earn enough money to support myself on my own so i'd need someone to live with. but also, i am considering moving to seattle. i dont know yet but its almost my only option. im just freaked out about everything. i dont want to leave my friends or my dad and brothers but i hate it here. its just full of too many bad memories that have haunted me for years and i just want to get away from it.
on a lighter note, i got an interview at Hot Topic! yayyy!!!! this lady called me 2 days ago and left me a message about it and told me she would like to set up an interview with me so if i would please call her back, that would be much appreciated. but i couldnt call her back that day because i was at that band festival thing and i couldnt get to a place quite enough to where i could talk to her. so she called the next day while i was still at school. she left another message that said she still wanted to set up an interview and if i didnt call back she would just assume that i found another job or something. so, i HAD to call her after she said that and i was in PE and we werent doing anything so i called her back and appologized for not calling her sooner so then she gave me a date, time, and place for the interview and im all set! yayyy im SUPER excited.
know whats weird? i found a fortune cookie just sitting on my bar in my kitchen so i opened it, and it said "be prepared for a sudden, needed, and happy change in plans". funny, because i got the same exact fortune on derek and dustins birthday at mongolian garden. hmmm weird.
i watched "the forgotten" and "shall we dance" tonight after i got home from dropping derek off. the forgotten was alright. it was a little weird and some of the ends didnt meet but oh well. i was stumped until the end which doesnt happen a lot with me and supenceful movies. shall we dance was alright also. jlo wasnt too bad in it. although, she isnt that bad of an actress. but i dont like richard gere that much so yeah... but im about to finally stop typing and watch "without a paddle" which im not sure if im gonna like or not but uhhh
kthxbi