working and not working... boring and not boring
Going back to work sure doesn't feel like going back to work when you're going back to an old summer job. I'm regressing back to my college summer days: living at home, working at Target, and essentially accomplishing very little. I wouldn't mind feeling like I was on summer break if this was, in fact, a summer break. The breaks are done. This is my life now, and it just feels like the same old thing.
It's frustrating when you work so hard towards a goal, and just when you think it's about to actualize, it begins to unravel at the seams. I was able to obtain a counseling job, but from the date of my hire, I was given a month until orientation. During this time, I was instructed to complete 29 hours of training necessary to begin the job. With less than a week until orientation, I have not even been given the tools necessary to begin training, let alone complete it. My fear, now, is that I've been holding out for a job that may not work out. I'm not discounting it yet, but I'm also not feeling very hopeful. I do have another interview this Friday, though I'm not sure what to make of this opportunity and I also haven't figured out how I personally feel about the potential job. I know some may not understand this, but I've worked really hard to get where I am, and I have trouble wrapping my head around abandoning my desired career path before even taking the first step.
And even though I'm working at Target now, I'm hardly working part-time. The most hours I've been able to get for a week is 27, which isn't much at all to me. I don't know how many more marathons I can watch on TV during the day (but thank you, USA, for your Tuesday L&O SVU marathon - much appreciated!). It's a strange in-between position to be in, and after nearly 3 months... I really want to be settled.
My hope was to get a more concrete job schedule going (whether it's with 1 or 2 jobs) and then to buy my own place... a townhome or something similar and move out! I want to live my own life again. I want to have my activities, my schedule, my meals on my terms! It's not that living at home is awful, because it isn't. It just doesn't allow me to live the way I want to live. I feel very limited on so many levels, and I just can't see this working out for months and months on end. But I also have no way of knowing when I will get to do anything different.
Part of me feels like the mystery of what will happen is still somewhat exciting. If i'm not locked into anything, then I still have so many options. I still have choices to make about my future, and maybe even other avenues to explore. But even that feeling is growing dull. Ultimately, even with all of my spare time, I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. Too much is up in the air, and I simply don't know what to make of what I have now.
I'm bored with my life as it is now. And I'm growing impatient waiting for "possibilities."
It's frustrating when you work so hard towards a goal, and just when you think it's about to actualize, it begins to unravel at the seams. I was able to obtain a counseling job, but from the date of my hire, I was given a month until orientation. During this time, I was instructed to complete 29 hours of training necessary to begin the job. With less than a week until orientation, I have not even been given the tools necessary to begin training, let alone complete it. My fear, now, is that I've been holding out for a job that may not work out. I'm not discounting it yet, but I'm also not feeling very hopeful. I do have another interview this Friday, though I'm not sure what to make of this opportunity and I also haven't figured out how I personally feel about the potential job. I know some may not understand this, but I've worked really hard to get where I am, and I have trouble wrapping my head around abandoning my desired career path before even taking the first step.
And even though I'm working at Target now, I'm hardly working part-time. The most hours I've been able to get for a week is 27, which isn't much at all to me. I don't know how many more marathons I can watch on TV during the day (but thank you, USA, for your Tuesday L&O SVU marathon - much appreciated!). It's a strange in-between position to be in, and after nearly 3 months... I really want to be settled.
My hope was to get a more concrete job schedule going (whether it's with 1 or 2 jobs) and then to buy my own place... a townhome or something similar and move out! I want to live my own life again. I want to have my activities, my schedule, my meals on my terms! It's not that living at home is awful, because it isn't. It just doesn't allow me to live the way I want to live. I feel very limited on so many levels, and I just can't see this working out for months and months on end. But I also have no way of knowing when I will get to do anything different.
Part of me feels like the mystery of what will happen is still somewhat exciting. If i'm not locked into anything, then I still have so many options. I still have choices to make about my future, and maybe even other avenues to explore. But even that feeling is growing dull. Ultimately, even with all of my spare time, I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. Too much is up in the air, and I simply don't know what to make of what I have now.
I'm bored with my life as it is now. And I'm growing impatient waiting for "possibilities."