back home
and i'm back home now...
i have a feeling i'm going to be thinking a lot about things over the break... especially since I'm removed from everything back at school.
All my thought are focused on my relationship now. It's still so surreal to me. It's... it's really hard to explain. I'm trying to catch myself of some bad tendencies i have. I know I tend to be distant sometimes and not forthcoming about what i'm thinking... which Robert is definitely the opposite there. I know he wants me to say more, but I never know what to say... and it seems as if little I say can reassure him.
The thing is... I've never been so physically close to someone, and maybe that's what is throwing me off. I'm trying not to fall head first into something that could potentially be painful, but it's not really like me to hold back either... especially when I can tell I am. I mean, what do I have to lose? Why should I hesitate?
it's strange.
it's going to be really hard not being able to see him at all during the Christmas break. We're so used to seeing each other every single day, 2-3 times for sometimes several hours at a time. That's what happens when you only live down the hall and a floor apart. Presently, we are somewhere around 4 hours apart... quite a difference.
well, maybe this will help us discover something different. You can tell the inexperience of both of us. The sheer helplessness... and the never-ending "what am i supposed to do now" look lol. Shouldn't i have been learning this much earlier... rather than when i'm 19? Who can say... better late than never i suppose.
ya'll... i'm scared. There are some strong feelings involved here. We both know we're going to separate schools next year, and we don't speak of it. Well, for one, I made a pact with him not too... he gets the most depressed look on his face whenever someone mentions it. It hasn't sunk in yet for me. It won't until the end of next semester... and then, I'll be asking myself what I should do next...
if i want to head into another long-distance relationship.
oy, not gonna think about that now. I'm gonna go to bed, get up tomorrow, go to work, hope that he returns my call, and call it quits.
yeah, that's it for now.
i have a feeling i'm going to be thinking a lot about things over the break... especially since I'm removed from everything back at school.
All my thought are focused on my relationship now. It's still so surreal to me. It's... it's really hard to explain. I'm trying to catch myself of some bad tendencies i have. I know I tend to be distant sometimes and not forthcoming about what i'm thinking... which Robert is definitely the opposite there. I know he wants me to say more, but I never know what to say... and it seems as if little I say can reassure him.
The thing is... I've never been so physically close to someone, and maybe that's what is throwing me off. I'm trying not to fall head first into something that could potentially be painful, but it's not really like me to hold back either... especially when I can tell I am. I mean, what do I have to lose? Why should I hesitate?
it's strange.
it's going to be really hard not being able to see him at all during the Christmas break. We're so used to seeing each other every single day, 2-3 times for sometimes several hours at a time. That's what happens when you only live down the hall and a floor apart. Presently, we are somewhere around 4 hours apart... quite a difference.
well, maybe this will help us discover something different. You can tell the inexperience of both of us. The sheer helplessness... and the never-ending "what am i supposed to do now" look lol. Shouldn't i have been learning this much earlier... rather than when i'm 19? Who can say... better late than never i suppose.
ya'll... i'm scared. There are some strong feelings involved here. We both know we're going to separate schools next year, and we don't speak of it. Well, for one, I made a pact with him not too... he gets the most depressed look on his face whenever someone mentions it. It hasn't sunk in yet for me. It won't until the end of next semester... and then, I'll be asking myself what I should do next...
if i want to head into another long-distance relationship.
oy, not gonna think about that now. I'm gonna go to bed, get up tomorrow, go to work, hope that he returns my call, and call it quits.
yeah, that's it for now.