(no subject)
Reading Astrology forums always makes me feel a degree sillier having had read them.
"I'm sometimes cut myself, as a result of my scorpio moon. I also like sex. Because I'm a scorpio."
I find myself guilty of thinking thoughts like that, when reading descriptions.
Can't wait for all this fiber to work. Nothing worse than being constipated.
Before Astrology, I used to attrib alot of my character traits on being Japanese.
Deep 'cause I'm Japanese. Clumsy cause I'm japanese. Etc 'cause I'm japanese.
It works, people don't ask questions. and when they did, I'd be at a loss for words. But astrology is alot more fun. Gives something to talk about.
I'm deep 'cause of alot of scorpio in my chart. I'm clumsy 'cause I have 5 planets in Sagittarius. haha.
Either way, people don't ask questions about your "real" life, once you give them reasons that are based on the stars regarding why you are the way you are.
It works for me. At one point, it stopped being an easy way to dodge prying eyes, and became a real interest. I decided to devote focus to it, because otherwise, it felt a bit insincere giving people reasons that I don't believe in.
I adopt alot of people's ideas, and behaviours to see what it can do for me. I usually start to believe in my own lies so much that I forget it was not the truth. Often times the truth is under my nose.
I'm pretty happy, I love myself, but you know what? I still want to break down and cry. Cry so hard that my body is racked with sobs. I can't let go though. I just can't let go. Sometiems I let a tear or two out, at random intervals. I think, all this stored up emotion is what juices my feelings when reading a book, or watching a movie. I'll shed tears, and get a runny nose from the tears at moments that are only mildly sad. I'll read into it, and find something about it that really moves me. And I give that credit to the directors/writers.
I think about all the tears I shed during my last relationship. They weren't necessarily fake, but were forced, in order to prove my sincere emotions. I guess the tears actually make the sincere emotions a bit less sincere, but who's counting. The communication worked. I had my first real cry about a year ago. And it felt good, but I don't feel like I got all of it out, I probably sobbed for a good 20 minutes straight. I think there's a bottomless pit where that comes from. I guess I've bottled everything up for so long that it's all aching to be released.
I think some really good sex will help with that. Actually....I think there was a time when I was having sex, and I cried. She started to cry as well. I asked her why she was crying, she didn't know, she just saw me cry and that made her cry too. It was good sex.
But the thing that will block me from really good sex is.. myself. Gotta be happy with me. That's a recurring theme in all my self-assessments. I know how too. But doing is different. never being satisfied means lots of room for growth. This is a good thing. So in a way, unhappiness = growth potential.
I guess alot of my anger has dissolved into grief, now waiting to be let out. I never acknowledged the anger until it was already gone. I acknowledged its death, and was surprised at how much was there. I nev er thought myself to be as emotional as I am. I'm always shocked when i look at my feelings.
sounds good.
"I'm sometimes cut myself, as a result of my scorpio moon. I also like sex. Because I'm a scorpio."
I find myself guilty of thinking thoughts like that, when reading descriptions.
Can't wait for all this fiber to work. Nothing worse than being constipated.
Before Astrology, I used to attrib alot of my character traits on being Japanese.
Deep 'cause I'm Japanese. Clumsy cause I'm japanese. Etc 'cause I'm japanese.
It works, people don't ask questions. and when they did, I'd be at a loss for words. But astrology is alot more fun. Gives something to talk about.
I'm deep 'cause of alot of scorpio in my chart. I'm clumsy 'cause I have 5 planets in Sagittarius. haha.
Either way, people don't ask questions about your "real" life, once you give them reasons that are based on the stars regarding why you are the way you are.
It works for me. At one point, it stopped being an easy way to dodge prying eyes, and became a real interest. I decided to devote focus to it, because otherwise, it felt a bit insincere giving people reasons that I don't believe in.
I adopt alot of people's ideas, and behaviours to see what it can do for me. I usually start to believe in my own lies so much that I forget it was not the truth. Often times the truth is under my nose.
I'm pretty happy, I love myself, but you know what? I still want to break down and cry. Cry so hard that my body is racked with sobs. I can't let go though. I just can't let go. Sometiems I let a tear or two out, at random intervals. I think, all this stored up emotion is what juices my feelings when reading a book, or watching a movie. I'll shed tears, and get a runny nose from the tears at moments that are only mildly sad. I'll read into it, and find something about it that really moves me. And I give that credit to the directors/writers.
I think about all the tears I shed during my last relationship. They weren't necessarily fake, but were forced, in order to prove my sincere emotions. I guess the tears actually make the sincere emotions a bit less sincere, but who's counting. The communication worked. I had my first real cry about a year ago. And it felt good, but I don't feel like I got all of it out, I probably sobbed for a good 20 minutes straight. I think there's a bottomless pit where that comes from. I guess I've bottled everything up for so long that it's all aching to be released.
I think some really good sex will help with that. Actually....I think there was a time when I was having sex, and I cried. She started to cry as well. I asked her why she was crying, she didn't know, she just saw me cry and that made her cry too. It was good sex.
But the thing that will block me from really good sex is.. myself. Gotta be happy with me. That's a recurring theme in all my self-assessments. I know how too. But doing is different. never being satisfied means lots of room for growth. This is a good thing. So in a way, unhappiness = growth potential.
I guess alot of my anger has dissolved into grief, now waiting to be let out. I never acknowledged the anger until it was already gone. I acknowledged its death, and was surprised at how much was there. I nev er thought myself to be as emotional as I am. I'm always shocked when i look at my feelings.
sounds good.