Mar 29, 2008 13:03
While digging through some files, last night, I found an old story that I wrote ten years ago. It's called Clockwork, and is actually kind of embarrassing. I wrote it for a class I was taking at the time, and the finished draft isn't even on par with the first-drafts I write today. I realized, however, that with a little research and some revision, it would make a good submission for Apex Magazine. They do Science Fiction and Horror, and this would be really good for them.
So, I thought this might make a cool project for my fiction blog. Today, I've transcribed that original story into my blog. Aside from changing it to blog formatting, I've left it exactly as it was, right down to a couple of spelling mistakes. You'll be able to see embarrassing stylistic flubs, one-dimensional characters, and even lousy pacing. After I do a couple of revisions, I'll post the new draft and we'll have a really cool "before and after" picture.
So, read to your heart's content, but you have been warned: It sucks. :) (Room for improvement, baby.)
Clockwork
by
Timothy T. Murphy
The last bell rang and Amber met Julie for their walk home. Clockwork was poking his head out of the top of Amber's backpack. She had brought him to school to show everyone his new eyes. Mom had made them emerald green. Mrs. Harvey had made her keep the cat in her locker all day, though. She had tried to explain that it was only mechanical and wouldn't make a mess anywhere, but the assistant principle had said that he would be a distraction. At least she hadn't made her turn him off.
Neither of them really saw the station wagon pull into the drive in front of them. Julie had taken Clockwork out for a petting while she whined about the pop quiz Mr. Barkley had thrown in math class. She held Clockwork up for a kiss, and the cat pushed away, probably wishing it still had tis claws. Amber smiled at the sight.
Then, suddenly, Julie dropped Clockwork, her eyes going wide. “Amber!”
She looked ahead and saw her dad! He and his friend Berry were getting out of the car in front of them!
“Shit!” she heard herself cry. They turned and ran, but only got a half a block.
Amber's dad slammed into her from behind, knocking her down to the sidewalk. His knee drilled into the small of her back and he pulled her arms behind her. “Help me!” she screamed, and her dad's hand came whistl8ing down, exploding against her cheek.
“Not one more word, you little bitch. You're coming home with your daddy where you belong.” She felt handcuffs ratchet around her wrist and thought of the pictures of her mother she'd found in her dad's drawer. She tried to pull her other hand away, and was slapped again.
“Amber!” Berry was standing between her and Julie, keeping her away. “Oh, God,” she thought, “Please don't hurt her.”
Suddenly, her father howled and stood up. Clockwork was dangling from his forearm by his teeth and blood was flowing freely from where his jaw had latched on. “Son of a bitch!” He yanked him loose and threw him out into the street.
“Clockwork!” Amber cried. She tried to get up, but her dad's boot shoved her back down.
Clockwork stood and hissed. “I got it, Adam.” she heard berry say, and stalked over, kicking Clockwork hard. Clockwork screeched and the bastard stomped on him, over and over while Clockwork wailed.
“No!” Amber cried.
Her father hauled her up. “Your little girlfriend is next if you don't shut up and get in the damned car.”
He grabbed her by the back of the neck and pushed her towards the car. “Berry, come on!”
“Hang on, man! You've gotta see this!”
“Fuck it, man, it's a stupid cat! You can hose it off your boot when we get back!” Dad pressed her up against the car while he opened the back door, shoved her head down and threw her in, climbing in beside her. Berry climbed into the driver's seat, whisting happily, and tossed something on the dash. It was one of Clockwork's emerald green eyes.
The car pulled away. Amber looked back and saw Julie standing there. At least they hadn't hurt her.
Five minutes later, Amber's mother Emily heard a machine-gun knock at her apartment door. Julie was there, sobbing. She started to ask her what was wrong, then saw what Julie was holding.
Clockwork's back was bent at an impossible angle, and his right rear leg was torn almost off. His face had been ripped open and he was missing an eye. He was twitching all over and smelled of smoke.
“Oh, dear God.”
“I'm so sorry, Mrs. Allen,” Julie sobbed, “I didn't know what to do.”
“It's okay, sweetie. It's okay.” She took the squirming cat from her and set it in her lap. Pulling up the fur at the back of is head, she switched him off. “Was it her father?”
Julie nodded, the tears flowing fresh.
“Did he hurt you?”
“No, but Amber ...”
“I know, honey. We'll fix it. Come on. I want to see this.” She wheeled her chair around and pushed off for the lab.
Emily set Clockwork down on the lab's workbench and plugged a phone cord into the back of his skull. The computer next to her lit up with Clockwork's command screen. She called over her shoulder, “When did it happen?”
“Um, I don't know. About ten minutes ago?”
She worked through a series of menus and Julie's face swam into view, trying to kiss the screen. While the scene played out, the two of them were quiet until Emily turned the computer off.
“Can we have him arrested?” Julie asked.
“Not really. The temporary custody hearing isn't until next month. Until then, he can take her home any time he wants, if I'm not with her.”
“But he attacked Amber.”
“It's borderline. He's using force to bring home an errant child. We could probably get him arrested, and we could probably bring it up in the custody hearing, but it probably wouldn't mean much.”
They were both quiet, Julie chewing on her thumbnail. “Mrs. Allen? Amber told me that her father used to, um, touch her.”
“I know, but we don't have any proof. I took her to the hospital once, but he tests were inconclusive.”
“So what do we do? Let him take her?”
“No. We get the proof. I need to fix Clockwork.”
Repairs took two days. The hardest part was the spinal column. Three vertebrae were crushed. Emily was forced to take apart the whole assembly to replace them.
Julie came every day, wanting to help. She did little things like threading wiring, holding parts still, and putting the claws in. She talked about how everyone missed Amber at school. She also took lots of notes in class so Amber could catch up.
Emily also asked Julie's mother to take a quick drive past her old house. Sure enough, the car was there and the lights were on.
“You'd think he would take her someplace a little harder to find.” Julie commented.
“Oh no, not Adam.” Emily countered. “He's got this perfect little picture in his head about how things are supposed to be, and if anyone doesn't like it, they can go to Hell. He thinks he's invulnerable that way.”
Finally, on Friday afternoon, Clockwork stood on the workbench, wagging his tail and cleaning between his toes. “When do we go?” Julie asked.
“Tonight. It's perfect. Adam always hits the bars on Friday nights.”
“What do we need?”
“Just you, me, Clockwork, and the laptop. Oh, and go in my bedroom. In the jewelry case on the dresser, you'll find a key for Adam's handcuffs. I took it with me when I left him, must in case.”
At eight that night, Emily stopped her van in an alleyway three blocks from the house. Julie opened the side door and Clockwork hopped out to sniff around. Emily fired up the laptop, and started Clockwork's Test Mode. He stopped munching at the leaves of a bush and stood stock still, staring straight ahead. She worked the keys, and at her command, Clockwork walked forward, backed up, hissed, and stood on his hind legs. Satisfied, she steered him toward the house, and he took off at a trot.
She had him stop and look around for a bit at the edge of the yard. The lights were all out. When she was satisfied the way was clear, she had him move to the back of the house.
“Is this legal?” Julie asked, “I mean, don't we need a warrant or something?”
“That house is half mine. In fact, since the last nine mortgage payments have come out of my pocket, I have more of a right to enter it than he does.”
“Well then, why didn't you throw him out instead of moving out yourself?”
“You've met him. Do you really think I could have thrown him out? I'm waiting for the courts to declare it mine and have the police help me.”
Clockwork was at the back of the house and Emily maneuvered him to a bush against the house. Behind it, a broken window was gaping open.
“Thank God for lazy bastards. That window has needed fixing for over a year.”
Inside was the laundry room, piled high in dirty clothes. Clockwork hopped down onto the washer and into one of the larger piles, treading through it to the stairs. The door at the top was open and the kitchen was dark.
Pizza boxes, dirty dishes and moldy food covered every surface in the room and cockroaches roamed freely. The refrigerator was hanging open a crack. On the way across the floor, Emily had Clockwork push it shut.
Out in the living room, he turned right down the hall to the master bedroom. The door was shut and Clockwork couldn't push it open. “Now what?” Julie asked.
“Hang on,” Emily said. She took the cat into Amber's old bedroom, through the shared bathroom and found the bathroom door into the master bedroom standing open. “You see? He's an idiot.”
There was more dirty laundry scattered about here than in the laundry room. Someone was sleeping on the bed. Emily had Clockwork jump up.
It was Amber. She was sleeping naked, her hands cuffed behind her back and a leash binding her to the headboard. There was duct tape over her eyes and mouth.
“What's he been doing to her?” Julie cried.
“I think we have what we need.” Emily said. “Go.”
“right.” Julie got out and started toward the house.
Then Clockwork heard the kitchen door open and the pounding of boots. Amber snapped awake and craned her head to listen.
“Julie! Wait!”
Clockwork bounded off the bed and into the closet.
Adam burst into the room shouting, “I thought I told you to get some sleep!” Amber whimpered and tried to back away from him, but the back of his hand whistled across her face. He grabbed her chin and said, “When Daddy tells you to do something, you fucking do it, do you here me?” Amber only sobbed and slowly nodded her head.
His hand roamed down her body, stopping to cup her breast. “You're growing up to be a pretty little girl, and you're going to make Daddy lots of money.” Amber shook her head and tried to squirm away form his touch, but he used his free hand to pin her down by her throat. His other hand moved between her legs.
“Daddy's friend Berry6 8is coming over later. You owe him one for bringing you home, don't you?”
Clockwork stalked out of the closet, extending his claws. Adam's left foot was still on the floor. He fixed on the leg, crouched low, and pounced! His claws ripped straight through the denim and drew blood.
“Damn!” Adam leaped up onto the bed, kicking to throw the attacker off. Clockwork landed a few feet from the bed and hissed.
“Christ, that's your damned cat again!” He strode over to Clockwork, reaching down to grab hold of him, but the cat jumped back and tore at his arm. “God! You're dead, you little bastard!”
Clockwork ran out of the bedroom door, down the hall and across the kitchen. As he flew down the stairs, Adam charged close behind. The piles of laundry slowed the cat too much, however, and before he could leap up onto the washer, Adam's hand wrung itself around his neck. “Gotcha!”
Clockwork squirmed and Emily tried every move she could think of, but Adam had him fast. Out of the of the cat's vision, they saw Adam pick up the iron.
Adam pulled back and brought the iron down on the cat's head. There was a loud thud, but no blood. The cat wailed and tried harder tho writhe free of his grasp. He pulled back again, and threw his body into it. There was a sharp crack, but still no blood. “C'mon, die already.” He hauled back one last time and got results, but not wheat he expected. The cat's fur peeled back, and there was machinery under it! In shock, he loosened his grip, and the cat-thing leaped up onto the washer and out the window. Emily!
Moments later, Adam burst out the back door, rifle in hand. The cat-thing was half a block away, running down the alley. He drew the rifle up and fired, but it went wide. He ran after it.
While Emily led Adam off in circles, Julie ran to the house. The crack of another rifle shot sounded as she burst into he bedroom. She crossed to Amber, ripping the tape form her eyes and mouth.
“Julie! What are you doing? He'll kill you!”
“So we have to hurry!” She dug out the key and fumbled with the cuffs while another shot went off not far away. She got Amber loose and grabbed a blanket to wrap around her. Then they ran for the door.
Adam, meanwhile, was losing ground. The cat-thing was getting further away, and he hadn't hit it yet. Before it rounded a fence into an alleyway, he took one more shot. His gun clicked, empty. He threw it aside and ran as fast as he could.
As he rounded the corner, he saw the cat leap into the lap of his ex-wife, sitting in the alleyway, her chair backed up against a fence.
“Well, well,” he sneered.
One of Emily's hands calmly stroked the phony cat's fur. The other was hidden under her blanket. “Hello, Adam. You're under citizen's arrest.”
“Blow me. I'm going to squash that little bug of yours, and then I'm going to finish what I started with that wheelchair.” He reached out and grabbed her by the throat. Her left hand grabbed his forearm and her right came down on his wrist with a lead pipe!
There was a snap and Adam snatched back his arm, squealing. Emily pulled out another pipe wit her free hand, wielding both defensively.
“Yeah, right,” Adam mumbled and kicked her squarely in the chest. The wind was knocked out of her, but she managed to ring one of her pipes down on his shin. He stumbled forward, and she landed one on his chin. He spun, hit the gravel face down, and she nailed him on the back of the head, knocking him cold.
Rubbing her bruised chest, she looked down at him and said, “Sorry, Adam, but I'm not afraid, anymore. This is my perfect little picture, now.”
Adam did not go quietly. He punched an EMT and ran for it. Four caps brought him down only a block away. Amber and Julie cheered a little when two lady comp hogtied him with cuffs and chains and threw him in the back seat of a cruiser to cool off.
While Emily was playing the scenes from Clockwork's memory for the police, she glanced over at her daughter. Amber had finished her statement and was waiting for Emily before they took her to the hospital for the appropriate tests. She and Julie were sitting under a tree, Julie with her arms wrapped around her, and they were playing with Clockwork. Julie leaned forward a bit and nuzzled her cheek against Amber's, and Amber turned to kiss her.
“It's about time.” Emily whispered, and smiled. Her daughter would be okay.
exercises,
fiction