(no subject)

Jun 30, 2005 09:20

Sometimes I sit here and stare at a blank journal update screen for long periods of time, wondering whether or not I should write about things like this.

But I suppose that's what these things are for, are they not?

In any event, I believe a long running dilemma may have come to a bittersweet conclusion. I've mentioned before that over the past two years, my neighbor (who has taken up a less than healthy obsession with me) and I have volleyed back and forth discussions about our feelings for each other. Or more specifically, her feelings for me that I am unable to return. This unforunately has caused me to break her heart more than once, after all of which she had come back for more.

All, except for the last one.

I convinced myself that it was just my imagination that she became a little more unravelled each time. I forced myself to think a lot less than I wanted to about it when I hadn't seen her since a few days ago, when we had our last big fight about it. Then I got the call that showed me my keen instincts really were keen.

It was from her sister. She has been staying with her a few days and was seemingly fine. Until she was found standing naked and drunk in the garage, with a steak knife in her hand. That was about all it took for a few calls to be made.

Needless to say, she's going away for a little while. I can only hope she finds the help she needs. I pray she finds something to make her whole again. I wish her all the best.

She had a lot of stresses from a lot of different sources. I couldn't have caused this alone. Still, I'm finding it difficult to forgive myself for even contributing to it.
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