(no subject)
Yay. Im finally going to the gym. I havent gone for AGES ( like maybe 2 weeks).
Shit shit shit. there's this vein on the back of my left leg and it's been there for about 2 or 3 years now but it never bothered/hurt me. Yesterday it started hurting when tom and I were walking back to his place from Lakeview Park. I'm so scared. I dont want it to be vicrose veins or whatever they're called, because I'm not that old yet! and i here those veins really hurt. SHIT! and theyre so ugly too.. Im so pissed. Im fat and ugly, EVERYWHERE.
Yesterday Tom and i watched fireworks at Lakeview Park for Canada Day. It was awesome, i love the big BANG some of the fireworks make lol. He was squeezing my leg because we were fooling around, and he was like Wow uve got fat legs. He was joking and i was like Ouch, and he was like no im joking, the reason why theyre so huge is cuz uve got muscle. and i was like Excuse me!? Huge? and i turned my head away because it really hurt me, muscle or fat, i dont want to be huge. and he was so sorry it was cute, but it really effected me. I wasnt mad at him at all because i knew what he meant, and he didnt mean it in a bad way, but I was more mad at myself for even making anyone think that iw as huge. It's because I AM, and i have no one to blame but me. Im so fat.
I had such a big breakfast too, WHY WHY WHY. i think im going to throw it up soon. and then im going to the gym and hopefully burn like 10000000 cals. Im going to Toms cottege, well its really his grandmas but its like a cottege and theres a beach and stuff. So i nEED to loose something for that if im going to go in the water. I wish i could wear a bathing suit and be confident, or wear one without even thinking about the fat on my stomach.
Shit shit shit. there's this vein on the back of my left leg and it's been there for about 2 or 3 years now but it never bothered/hurt me. Yesterday it started hurting when tom and I were walking back to his place from Lakeview Park. I'm so scared. I dont want it to be vicrose veins or whatever they're called, because I'm not that old yet! and i here those veins really hurt. SHIT! and theyre so ugly too.. Im so pissed. Im fat and ugly, EVERYWHERE.
Yesterday Tom and i watched fireworks at Lakeview Park for Canada Day. It was awesome, i love the big BANG some of the fireworks make lol. He was squeezing my leg because we were fooling around, and he was like Wow uve got fat legs. He was joking and i was like Ouch, and he was like no im joking, the reason why theyre so huge is cuz uve got muscle. and i was like Excuse me!? Huge? and i turned my head away because it really hurt me, muscle or fat, i dont want to be huge. and he was so sorry it was cute, but it really effected me. I wasnt mad at him at all because i knew what he meant, and he didnt mean it in a bad way, but I was more mad at myself for even making anyone think that iw as huge. It's because I AM, and i have no one to blame but me. Im so fat.
I had such a big breakfast too, WHY WHY WHY. i think im going to throw it up soon. and then im going to the gym and hopefully burn like 10000000 cals. Im going to Toms cottege, well its really his grandmas but its like a cottege and theres a beach and stuff. So i nEED to loose something for that if im going to go in the water. I wish i could wear a bathing suit and be confident, or wear one without even thinking about the fat on my stomach.