LJ Idol Season 8, Week 30, Leviathan
If you flush the toilet at night a big snake looking water monster will slither out of it and get you.
This is what my father told me from the time I was little. I can remember flushing the toilet and running out of the bathroom so as not to get sucked down with the waste by the monster that lived inside the toilet and came out at night.
The vacuum cleaner is a monster and will swallow you up, he used to say. I was already afraid of the noise the vacuum used to make, but now I had to be afraid of it swallowing me up whole as well.
The worst was telling me there were monsters outside at night. That’s why kids could only play outside during the day. The monsters wouldn’t get you in the daytime, but if you weren’t careful, at night, the monsters could get you. So it was better to stay inside with the lights on. I already had nightmares, reliving the daily abuse that went on during the day in my dreams. I didn’t need monsters added to the mix. I was happy when I got my toy glow worm. When you squeezed it, it lit up. Maybe then the monsters would stay further away.
If I went out a night, for example when walking from a relative’s house after visiting, to our car, I was glad there were adults around. They could fight off the monsters if they came. In situations where there were no adults around, I would run if I could, trying not to trip and fall because I would then be easy prey for the monsters. I just had to out run them in the dark.
I don’t know why I believed my father. I don’t know why he put so much effort into terrifying me with monster tales. He could tell I was scared but he went on with the monster stories, trying to make me even more afraid. It was a sick torturous way to speak to a little kid. It seemed like a game to him though, when I look back on it now, yet I don’t see scaring little kids as a game, and I don’t do it myself.
I never liked going out at night with my friends as a teenager. I was better if they kept talking to me to keep me calm, or if we were making a lot of noise. Maybe monsters didn’t like noise. I couldn’t tell my adolescent friends that there were monsters lurking because they’d laugh at me, but I knew they were there somewhere in the darkness. When I was left home alone as a teen I’d have all the lights on at night until I was safe in my bed. The more lights the better because then monsters couldn’t hide in the shadowy corners.
It’s been a long time since I have gone running from the bathroom at night after flushing the toilet with the water monster in it. Every now and then though, I catch myself looking over my shoulder if I’m out walking alone in the dark. Sometimes my steps quicken as I get a nervous chill. I’m an adult, and I know there aren’t monsters out at night, unless you count criminals, but I still find myself watching and worrying at times. I sometimes have to stop and calm myself down. Old habits die hard, and when you’ve lived in fear for so many years, and have been pumped full of it on a regular basis, things take even longer to change.
I thought fathers were supposed to protect little girls from monsters? Maybe my dad had never been told the rules, or maybe he preferred playing the part of the monster.
This is what my father told me from the time I was little. I can remember flushing the toilet and running out of the bathroom so as not to get sucked down with the waste by the monster that lived inside the toilet and came out at night.
The vacuum cleaner is a monster and will swallow you up, he used to say. I was already afraid of the noise the vacuum used to make, but now I had to be afraid of it swallowing me up whole as well.
The worst was telling me there were monsters outside at night. That’s why kids could only play outside during the day. The monsters wouldn’t get you in the daytime, but if you weren’t careful, at night, the monsters could get you. So it was better to stay inside with the lights on. I already had nightmares, reliving the daily abuse that went on during the day in my dreams. I didn’t need monsters added to the mix. I was happy when I got my toy glow worm. When you squeezed it, it lit up. Maybe then the monsters would stay further away.
If I went out a night, for example when walking from a relative’s house after visiting, to our car, I was glad there were adults around. They could fight off the monsters if they came. In situations where there were no adults around, I would run if I could, trying not to trip and fall because I would then be easy prey for the monsters. I just had to out run them in the dark.
I don’t know why I believed my father. I don’t know why he put so much effort into terrifying me with monster tales. He could tell I was scared but he went on with the monster stories, trying to make me even more afraid. It was a sick torturous way to speak to a little kid. It seemed like a game to him though, when I look back on it now, yet I don’t see scaring little kids as a game, and I don’t do it myself.
I never liked going out at night with my friends as a teenager. I was better if they kept talking to me to keep me calm, or if we were making a lot of noise. Maybe monsters didn’t like noise. I couldn’t tell my adolescent friends that there were monsters lurking because they’d laugh at me, but I knew they were there somewhere in the darkness. When I was left home alone as a teen I’d have all the lights on at night until I was safe in my bed. The more lights the better because then monsters couldn’t hide in the shadowy corners.
It’s been a long time since I have gone running from the bathroom at night after flushing the toilet with the water monster in it. Every now and then though, I catch myself looking over my shoulder if I’m out walking alone in the dark. Sometimes my steps quicken as I get a nervous chill. I’m an adult, and I know there aren’t monsters out at night, unless you count criminals, but I still find myself watching and worrying at times. I sometimes have to stop and calm myself down. Old habits die hard, and when you’ve lived in fear for so many years, and have been pumped full of it on a regular basis, things take even longer to change.
I thought fathers were supposed to protect little girls from monsters? Maybe my dad had never been told the rules, or maybe he preferred playing the part of the monster.