(no subject)
At some point you just can't help but feel that everyone's going to leave you behind and all you can do is just watch them go and smile because you know that they're going to do way better there than here. It's hard because it's all I get, all I read is people going for days and I'm just pretty much stuck here right in front of my laptop staring at nothing because they're not around to talk to.
I wonder if someone's ever going to understand. I know I'm clingy that's why I try to say or show it less and just support and smile even if deep inside I just really want to cling and hold on and tell them don't go. I know it's not my place to say anything so I don't and it just gets hard to cope because things will eventually change and I just have to go through it and I feel so alone because well I know I have to handle this all by myself. I can't do much or say anything because clearly, they're happy and excited over this. To them this isn't much of an issue but for me the change is just so huge...that it's hard to fully grasp and welcome it. I'm trying though. Maybe something else will come out of this. I just don't like feeling lonely.
It's only day 1..there's still about 9-10 more days of this i have to cope with and I hope I get used to this because I'll have to live through this for what, 4 years? That's a long time...4 years is a long time....I feel so afraid. Though I know she can see that I'm all sad over this, I hope at one point she'd understand the fear too. But I'm not expecting anything. Like I said I'd just have to toughen up, suck it all in and just be happy and excited for her.
Everything changes. I should now that....nothing lasts...nothing will be the same.
I wonder if someone's ever going to understand. I know I'm clingy that's why I try to say or show it less and just support and smile even if deep inside I just really want to cling and hold on and tell them don't go. I know it's not my place to say anything so I don't and it just gets hard to cope because things will eventually change and I just have to go through it and I feel so alone because well I know I have to handle this all by myself. I can't do much or say anything because clearly, they're happy and excited over this. To them this isn't much of an issue but for me the change is just so huge...that it's hard to fully grasp and welcome it. I'm trying though. Maybe something else will come out of this. I just don't like feeling lonely.
It's only day 1..there's still about 9-10 more days of this i have to cope with and I hope I get used to this because I'll have to live through this for what, 4 years? That's a long time...4 years is a long time....I feel so afraid. Though I know she can see that I'm all sad over this, I hope at one point she'd understand the fear too. But I'm not expecting anything. Like I said I'd just have to toughen up, suck it all in and just be happy and excited for her.
Everything changes. I should now that....nothing lasts...nothing will be the same.