Adulthood
I'm finding myself to be changing. Or perhaps I'm just becoming who I always thought I would be, but always kind of never wanted to be.
I'm catching myself thinking thoughts such as, "That person is immature," and, "they need to grow up already."
I am sad.
I am jealous.
I miss the days of high school when we would all skip school and just stay at Steph's house all day, doing nothing. I miss being that carefree. I miss the excited feeling of sneaking into Josh's house at two 'o clock in the morning, just so he could hold me. I miss having fun with my friends, back when we didn't need alcohol to stand each other.
There is a line. The graduates and the non. We are irrevocably separated and replaced by our similars. I do not need to wonder why, because I know. And it is heartbreaking because this was supposed to be forever. But like so many other things, it was only high school.
They are merely acquaintances that we know everything about.
It's fallen apart.
Sometimes I actually wish to hang out with Amanda, Doug, and Kaitlyn again. The four of us. Crazy, right? All that pain and hurt and jealousy and betrayal, because at one point, at one small second, we all loved each other equally. I know we did, we had to.
I'm catching myself thinking thoughts such as, "That person is immature," and, "they need to grow up already."
I am sad.
I am jealous.
I miss the days of high school when we would all skip school and just stay at Steph's house all day, doing nothing. I miss being that carefree. I miss the excited feeling of sneaking into Josh's house at two 'o clock in the morning, just so he could hold me. I miss having fun with my friends, back when we didn't need alcohol to stand each other.
There is a line. The graduates and the non. We are irrevocably separated and replaced by our similars. I do not need to wonder why, because I know. And it is heartbreaking because this was supposed to be forever. But like so many other things, it was only high school.
They are merely acquaintances that we know everything about.
It's fallen apart.
Sometimes I actually wish to hang out with Amanda, Doug, and Kaitlyn again. The four of us. Crazy, right? All that pain and hurt and jealousy and betrayal, because at one point, at one small second, we all loved each other equally. I know we did, we had to.