so angry and distorted!

[imadrunkmonkey]

i don't think dan knows how i truly feel and i think i should really let him know what's going on. lately, being friends was difficult enough because it's not the same like we said it should stay. it's pointless to keep dragging ourselves through the same old crap every day. it's ridiculous. why should we both have to be brought through the drama of every day relationships? i'm better off alone or with a girl. he doesn't need to be with someone that isn't gonna pay attention to him, not call, not say good bye. stuff like that. i don't even care anymore about anything. i'm going to keep stressing myself out about this if i don't say something and put an end to the chaos. i don't think we'll ever be getting back together any time soon. i was kinda focused on sam marker for a bit but now she has lost interest in dating a girl also. or atleast she likes laura, i think...? maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. all i know is that i don't want stress. and i have a feeling that he's taking interest in this jessi chica. that's cool for him though. maybe he'll be more pleased with her. he makes me feel like shit sometimes in his lj entries but i don't think he does it on purpose. he does it with almost like this natural reflex. i don't do something right, OH, let's talk about it in the live journal, jina reads it, he adds lib, i feel crappy. this is so dumb i can't believe i'm even wasting a journal entry on this. why am i even typing about this?

so nicole and i going tanning tonite!! woo hoo! she didn't wear any panties today either! YES.....she will indeed be mine. then after that i think we'll get a pack of cigs and just chill.

i
can't
wait
for
school
to
be
over
with.

it sucks that i have to go to summer school for honors english. hopefully it won't be so hard but all it is is making up one whole semester of english. i don't really mind it either. as long as i get my credit for it, i'll be content with myself.

i'm out!

<3 jina