tell me what to do
i have an update to update
i had fun
but im lost
someone... just...
[shoot]
I'm pissed I've spent so much money lately...
i spent @ least $150 per trip to see danielle, sometimes more. I went hmmm, I think like 7? times. @ least 5 or 6...
that equals @ least $750- $1050 when i payed the less price... I'd estimate a sub-total of... $1450 due to gas price differences... oh wait a 25 dollar parking ticket, more stress is drybrain on my car, meaning more oil changes(more money). Add food and doing things for "fun."
I just paid Marie @ work the 70 bux for hockey tickets for when danielle comes home. i spent 20 bux on gas and got ALMOST a half tank. I had fun this weekiend but spent my last 50 bux.
my wallets dry
my gas tanks dry,
my hearts dry,
my eyes are dry
my brain is dry
and I'm pissed I've been saving for a future for "Us"
from now on it's called saving for a future for ME
I place her in front of everything in my head, everything i do, everything i buy, I completely stop working and call her or mail her... I want one person to place me first, i Thought it could be her.
I don't know how much misery is the right amount to put up with. like, when does it become too much?? if i say how i feel ppl could just say "follow ur heart," or "if you're not happy, its not worth it"
I can't make that decision of being happy or whats in my heart, i need advice but noone can give me any
I dont want to get rid of danielle, partly because itd just be a bother to get a new somebody
and i love her but when is it enough
whats the breaking point
it's quite unsettling to know she doesnt care to make it right
I'm extremely confused
...
this entry was NOT supposed to be about this
i had fun
but im lost
someone... just...
[shoot]
I'm pissed I've spent so much money lately...
i spent @ least $150 per trip to see danielle, sometimes more. I went hmmm, I think like 7? times. @ least 5 or 6...
that equals @ least $750- $1050 when i payed the less price... I'd estimate a sub-total of... $1450 due to gas price differences... oh wait a 25 dollar parking ticket, more stress is drybrain on my car, meaning more oil changes(more money). Add food and doing things for "fun."
I just paid Marie @ work the 70 bux for hockey tickets for when danielle comes home. i spent 20 bux on gas and got ALMOST a half tank. I had fun this weekiend but spent my last 50 bux.
my wallets dry
my gas tanks dry,
my hearts dry,
my eyes are dry
my brain is dry
and I'm pissed I've been saving for a future for "Us"
from now on it's called saving for a future for ME
I place her in front of everything in my head, everything i do, everything i buy, I completely stop working and call her or mail her... I want one person to place me first, i Thought it could be her.
I don't know how much misery is the right amount to put up with. like, when does it become too much?? if i say how i feel ppl could just say "follow ur heart," or "if you're not happy, its not worth it"
I can't make that decision of being happy or whats in my heart, i need advice but noone can give me any
I dont want to get rid of danielle, partly because itd just be a bother to get a new somebody
and i love her but when is it enough
whats the breaking point
it's quite unsettling to know she doesnt care to make it right
I'm extremely confused
...
this entry was NOT supposed to be about this