The unsent letter that will eventually come up in conversation
Dear Mooch,
No, you can't drive my car because you never offer to pay for gas. If I ask you, you will, but when you take my car and have a rollicking good time joy riding in it, you never think that I'm the one funding it. Also, when it snows, I have reasons for getting out of this house that are equally important if not more so than yours, and it is really not my fault nor my problem that your car is useless in inclement weather.
No, you can't use my computer anymore. It is extremely irritating to a) wake up to you in my room disconnecting all the wires so you can take my computer to other places in the house and use it, or b) coming home and wanting to get online only to be unable to because you are planted in front of my laptop. I have two online classes that I HAVE to be able to access, AND my two classes that are taught in person have mandatory online portions that I need to be able to complete in a timely manner. You knew there was a strong possibility you would be moving back home when you bought your computer and you were also aware that our only source of internet is dial up, so it is not my fault that you failed to pick up a machine with that capability and it's time you dealt with the consequences. This is why the account you created on MY computer has been DELETED and will NOT BE REINSTATED. (And no, you cannot have my password. This is why it's had a password on it since day one: because you and Mom have neither a sense of privacy nor a care for things that aren't yours.)
No, you haven't asked to borrow any more money, but you're not going to be able to pay your bills again this month. Even if I could help you again, I don't know that I would. I have very little in my savings now, but before you came back, I had much more that I lent to you because I genuinely felt bad. I know that it's going to come down to giving me back my money or paying gargantuan amounts to American Express, but what can I do now? I have a copy of our agreement that we both signed, so don't let it bite you in the ass.
No, you are no longer entitled to eating my food. I went grocery shopping two days ago for food that was supposed to last a week, and you have managed to eat all of it in TWO FUCKING DAYS OMG. It's not even like you were snowed in, either! I'm sick of feeding you, I'm sick of buying wonderful juices and things and getting stuck with drinking tap water, and I'm sick of not being reimbursed! Fucking buy your own food and leave mine alone!
Also, would it kill you to ask once in a while if I have to be at work the next morning? I am really sick of getting up to shower only to find you in there taking your sweet ass time. We have ONE shower in this house, and given that it's the dead of winter, it's really awful to hop into a shower that feels like the damn Arctic ocean!
I'm really fucking sick of your shit, and between you and Mom, I am this close to making a paper chain counting down the days until I move out. I would love to move out right now but I can't because you took all the money I had that would go toward a security deposit and bills! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sincerely,
Mary
No, you can't drive my car because you never offer to pay for gas. If I ask you, you will, but when you take my car and have a rollicking good time joy riding in it, you never think that I'm the one funding it. Also, when it snows, I have reasons for getting out of this house that are equally important if not more so than yours, and it is really not my fault nor my problem that your car is useless in inclement weather.
No, you can't use my computer anymore. It is extremely irritating to a) wake up to you in my room disconnecting all the wires so you can take my computer to other places in the house and use it, or b) coming home and wanting to get online only to be unable to because you are planted in front of my laptop. I have two online classes that I HAVE to be able to access, AND my two classes that are taught in person have mandatory online portions that I need to be able to complete in a timely manner. You knew there was a strong possibility you would be moving back home when you bought your computer and you were also aware that our only source of internet is dial up, so it is not my fault that you failed to pick up a machine with that capability and it's time you dealt with the consequences. This is why the account you created on MY computer has been DELETED and will NOT BE REINSTATED. (And no, you cannot have my password. This is why it's had a password on it since day one: because you and Mom have neither a sense of privacy nor a care for things that aren't yours.)
No, you haven't asked to borrow any more money, but you're not going to be able to pay your bills again this month. Even if I could help you again, I don't know that I would. I have very little in my savings now, but before you came back, I had much more that I lent to you because I genuinely felt bad. I know that it's going to come down to giving me back my money or paying gargantuan amounts to American Express, but what can I do now? I have a copy of our agreement that we both signed, so don't let it bite you in the ass.
No, you are no longer entitled to eating my food. I went grocery shopping two days ago for food that was supposed to last a week, and you have managed to eat all of it in TWO FUCKING DAYS OMG. It's not even like you were snowed in, either! I'm sick of feeding you, I'm sick of buying wonderful juices and things and getting stuck with drinking tap water, and I'm sick of not being reimbursed! Fucking buy your own food and leave mine alone!
Also, would it kill you to ask once in a while if I have to be at work the next morning? I am really sick of getting up to shower only to find you in there taking your sweet ass time. We have ONE shower in this house, and given that it's the dead of winter, it's really awful to hop into a shower that feels like the damn Arctic ocean!
I'm really fucking sick of your shit, and between you and Mom, I am this close to making a paper chain counting down the days until I move out. I would love to move out right now but I can't because you took all the money I had that would go toward a security deposit and bills! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sincerely,
Mary