Teardrop on the fire of confession, fearless on my breath
I feel like I can say lately for the first time in a long time that things are actually starting to go my way. School is finally falling into place, I got a job so my financial troubles will be way less of a strain. I will most likely have a lab position with Dr. Walker next semester where I will get to learn to do brain surgery on rats, probably the coolest thing I've ever gotten to do. Just overall I feel better. The clouds that have hung over me for the last year seem to have lifted for the most part, I feel like me again instead of a sad, empty person. It's such a relief.
My brother got engaged yesterday. He called me today to tell me about it. This was strange to me for two reasons: My brother NEVER calls me, and I never actually thought he'd propose to Michelle. They've been dating forever, so I don't know why I'm surprised. But I am, it's weird. There's always these reminders of how much older we're getting. At least now my mom and dad know who to hassle about getting their next set of grandchildren.
I caved in today and helped Ashley set up our Christmas tree. I usually never do any decorating until after Thanksgiving but something about today, I don't know, it felt festive. Or it could have been that I had the worst hangover of my life and was really confused. Either way, it's nice. It's bright and shiny, two of my favorite qualities. Sometimes I wonder if I should feel guilty for liking to celebrate the birth of someone I don't really believe existed. But in the end it means I get things like egg nog and the Chipmunks singing Christmas carols and my festive talking moose that hangs on the wall. All things I very much like, so does it matter really?
Sometimes I think I have things totally figured out, and that I'm so smart for knowing how it works. Then something totally unexpected happens and I realize I actually didn't know anything at all. I guess that's what keeps life interesting?
My brother got engaged yesterday. He called me today to tell me about it. This was strange to me for two reasons: My brother NEVER calls me, and I never actually thought he'd propose to Michelle. They've been dating forever, so I don't know why I'm surprised. But I am, it's weird. There's always these reminders of how much older we're getting. At least now my mom and dad know who to hassle about getting their next set of grandchildren.
I caved in today and helped Ashley set up our Christmas tree. I usually never do any decorating until after Thanksgiving but something about today, I don't know, it felt festive. Or it could have been that I had the worst hangover of my life and was really confused. Either way, it's nice. It's bright and shiny, two of my favorite qualities. Sometimes I wonder if I should feel guilty for liking to celebrate the birth of someone I don't really believe existed. But in the end it means I get things like egg nog and the Chipmunks singing Christmas carols and my festive talking moose that hangs on the wall. All things I very much like, so does it matter really?
Sometimes I think I have things totally figured out, and that I'm so smart for knowing how it works. Then something totally unexpected happens and I realize I actually didn't know anything at all. I guess that's what keeps life interesting?